Life Is Ruff

LOOK, MOM. PUPPIES!

CAN I HAVE ONE?

SEE YA.

AW...CAN I KEEP HIM?

YES, LET'S

TAKE HIM HOME.

GO AHEAD,

YOU CAN PICK ONE OUT.

THANKS, DAD.

I WANT THIS ONE.

NOW, YOU SURE, HONEY?

MAKE SURE YOU:

TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM.

I WILL.

[PUPPIES WHIMPER]

GOOD LUCK, LITTLE GUY.

[PUPPY WHIMPERS]

BEAT IT,

FILTHY MUTT!

GET OUT OF HERE!

[BARKS]

LOOK AT THE SIZE

OF THAT ONE.

[BARKS]

OK, BIG FELLA.

NICE AND EASY, NOW.

THERE HE GOES!

CALL FOR BACKUP NOW!

[CAR PEELS OUT]

THERE HE IS!

GO! GO! GO!

Radio:
CALLING ALL UNITS,

ALL UNITS CONVERGE

ON THE CORNER:

OF EUCLID AND ELM.

WE HAVE A 5-1-1 IN PROGRESS.

STOP THAT DOG!

I GOT YA!

LOOK OUT!

OH, MOMMY!

GET BACK HERE!

HE'S UNDER

THE TABLE!

HEY, STOP THAT DOG!

HEY, YOU!

WATCH HIM!

WATCH HIM!

HEY, HE GO AWAY FROM US AGAIN!

[SIREN BLARES]

HEY, THERE HE IS!

LET'S GET HIM!

Woman:
OH, MY CLOTHES!

HE'S DESTROYING

MY VINTAGE CLOTHES!

CUT HIM OFF!

CUT HIM OFF!

WHERE'S MY BACKUP?

I WANT EVERY AVAILABLE

UNIT OUT HERE NOW!

EASY. RELAX.

[WHIMPERS]

GOOD JOB.

ONLY 2 MORE ISSUES TO GO.

MORNING, MOM.

MORNING, DAD.

HI, HONEY.

HEY, SON.

GOOD MORNING, HONEY.

CALVIN, TRASH

GOES OUT THIS MORNING.

IT'S COVERED, DAD!

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

FIGG, YEAH, MAN.

I'M RUNNING A COUPLE

MINUTES LATE.

ADJUST MY SCHEDULE

ACCORDINGLY. ALL RIGHT.

CALVIN!

YO, LOU AND THRASH,

WHAT'S UP?

DUDE, THANKS

FOR HOOKING US UP

WITH THOSE:

MUDBUCKET TICKETS.

YEAH, THAT CONCERT ROCKED!

LOU, DON'T FORGET THE

LAWN CLIPPINGS, GUYS.

GOOD MORNING,

MR. WHEELER.

YOUR SON ROCKS.

YOU MUST BE,

LIKE, REALLY PROUD.

MMM...COME ON

UNGH:

YO. YO. YO.

YO. YO. YO. YO.

WHAT'S

THE WORD, FIGG?

WELL, YOU'VE GO A POP QUIZ COMING UP

IN FIFTH PERIOD.

ALSO, THEY

MAILED OUT THIRD QUARTER

REPORT CARDS YESTERDAY,

SO HEAD'S UP AT HOME.

GOT IT.

AND YOU STILL NEED A DATE

FOR THE SPRING DANCE.

I COMPILED A DOSSIER

FROM THE TOP CONTENDERS

AND SCHEDULED INTERVIEWS

FOR LUNCH PERIOD.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

PRETTY SIMPLE DAY,

YOU KNOW?

Figg:
OK, GIRLS IF

YOU'LL PLEASE BE SEATED.

I'M CAPTAIN OF

THE CHEER SQUAD,

A GREAT DANCER,

OH, AND I LOOK

SPECTACULAR:

IN ALL:

SPRING COLORS.

YOU HAVE IMPRESSIVE

QUALIFICATIONS, JULIE.

BUT I DO HAVE:

ONE QUESTION FOR YOU.

SURE, ANYTHING!

WHAT IS THE NAME

OF GOTHAM MAN'S ARCH-ENEMY?

I'M SORRY?

GOTHAM MAN?

PROTON COMICS?

CREATED BY ARTIS STEWART BICKFORD

IN 1947--

RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT.

THE SUPERHERO.

BUT WHY ARE YOU--

LOOK. LOOK. LOOK.

DO YOU KNOW THE NAME

OF HIS ARCH-ENEMY OR NOT?

SURE! IT'S...

I THINK...

CHARLIE.

THANKS, JULIE.

WE'LL LET YOU KNOW. NEXT!

WAIT! FRANK?

JIM? TIM? EUGENE?

CAN'T THIS BE

MULTIPLE CHOICE:

OR SOMETHING?

OK, NEXT!

SUPPORT THE LOCAL

ANIMAL SHELTER.

THE SHELTER IS:

IN DESPERATE NEED

OF RENOVATIONS:

AND VOLUNTEERS.

PLEASE, TAKE A FLYER.

OH, EMILY!

SURE, I'LL TAKE ONE.

OK, LOOK.

FIGG, THIS IS

THE LIST OF COMICS

I NEED YOU:

TO PICK UP FOR ME. OK?

Figg:
OK.

THANKS LOADS, CALVIN.

OH, AND THAT'S

A TRICK QUESTION.

GOTHAM MAN'S ARCH-ENEMY

HAS NO NAME.

Emily:
PLEASE SAVE

THE ANIMAL SHELTER!

HI, THERE.

I'M SORRY, EMILY.

YOU KNOW HOW SHOR WE ARE IN FUNDING.

WE JUST DON' HAVE THE SPACE.

PLEASE, MR. DUDLEY,

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE TIME!

I KNOW THAT I CAN

FIND TYCHO A HOME!

HI, THERE, BUDDY.

HEY, TYCHO.

TYCHO? EMILY,

WE TALKED ABOU NAMING THE ANIMALS.

IT JUS MAKES IT HARDER WHEN...

THINGS DON'T WORK OUT.

BUT I'VE BEEN

WORKING WITH HIM,

TRAINING HIM.

HE'S REALLY VERY SWEET.

AND...I TAUGHT HIM A TRICK.

HEY! HEY!

UM, NO, STOP IT.

UM, THAT WASN' THE TRICK.

EMILY, YOU'RE JUS GONNA HAVE TO LEARN

WE CAN'T SAVE 'EM ALL.

IT'S OK, TYCHO.

WE'LL FIND YOU A HOME.

I PROMISE.

Calvin:
YOU KNOW,

IT'S MY DREAM

TO GE GOTHAM MAN #1.

YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,

THE DARK DRAGON:

CHRONICLES:

REPRESENTS THE:

PINNACLE OF THE:

GOTHAM MAN LEGACY.

BUT I MEAN,

THE ORIGINAL GOTHAM MAN,

HE'S, LIKE--

HEY, CALVIN!

POP-A-WHEELER!

WE NEED:

TO TALK, MAN.

HEY, MAMA.

HEY, SWEETIE.

DON'T MIND IF WE USE

THIS SPACE A LITTLE BIT,

DO YOU?

NO, YOU GO AHEAD, BABY.

CALVIN, HAVE A SEAT.

OK. SEAT?

THAT AIN'T GONNA HURT.

LISTEN, MAN.

TONIGHT IS THE LAS GAME OF THE SEASON.

WE WIN THIS GAME,

WE CLINCH REGIONALS.

YOU GUYS ARE:

6 1/2 POINT FAVORITES.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WESTLAKE SOMEHOW

GOT A HOLD OF:

OUR PLAYBOOK,

AND THEY'RE

GONNA KNOW ALL:

OF OUR SCHEMES.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP.

HEY, WHAT'S THA GONNA COST US?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

I WOULDN'T JUST DO I IN THE NAME OF

GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP?

YOU KNOW, SCHOOL SPIRIT?

'CAUSE I KNOW YOU, CALVIN.

OK, GOOD ENOUGH

FOR ME.

COME ON, FIGG.

HOOK ME UP, MAN.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

THE GAME STARTS:

IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!

I'M THINKING

GOTHAM MAN NUMBER 43.

TRADE.

BUT HOW AND WHO?

YOU KNOW, UM,

SIMON GIMPLE?

SURE, HE GOES

TO WESTLAKE.

YEAH, HE'S ALSO

THE BASKETBALL TEAM

EQUIPMENT MANAGER.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

SO, HOW'S

THE PIZZA, SIMON?

CALVIN?

WHERE ARE YOU?

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

DID YOU BRING IT?

UM...

Announcer:
AND NOW,

TO AMAZE, EXCITE,

AND INSPIRE,

THE BEDFORD HIGH

PRE-GAME PREP COMMITTEE

IS PROUD TO PRESEN PRESTON PRICE

AND HIS WONDER DOG JACQUES!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IT IS OUR HOPE THA JACQUES' RIVETING PERFORMANCE

WILL INSPIRE YOU ALL

TO BE CHAMPIONS.

OK. OK.

Man:
DO IT!

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

COULD YOU GUYS:

STEP AWAY FROM:

JACQUES, PLEASE?

HOP UP!

AH, GOOD BOY.

GOOD BOY.

OH, ISN'T THA LITTLE DOG CUTE?!

CALVIN, WE NEED

THAT BOOK.

I BROUGHT IT,

BUT, UH--

SIMON, COME ON, MAN,

WE HAD A DEAL. OK?

NOW SLIP IT IN:

ONE OF THE NEWSPAPERS

IN THE RACK,

BY THE DOOR. YEAH.

LOOK, CALVIN,

YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA

GET ME SOMETHING COOL

FOR THIS.

SOMETHING HI-TECH.

MAN, YOU'RE HOLDING IT.

THAT CELL PHONE:

IS A RANYO SCH-600, MAN.

THAT CELL PHONE:

DOESN'T EVEN

COME OUT IN THE U.S.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR. ENJOY.

I DON'T KNOW, CALVIN.

I FEEL LIKE:

A TRAITOR OR SOMETHING.

CALVIN? HELLO?

ARE YOU THERE? HELLO?

CALVIN, ARE

YOU THERE? HELLO?

GOOD BOY. GOD BOY.

LET'S SKATEBOARD.

GOOD BOY.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

[CROWD YAWNS]

THANK YOU.

JACQUES AND I THANK YOU.

IF JACQUES AND I DIDN' FIRE UP THIS TEAM,

NOTHING WILL.

[CROWD CHEERS

AND BAND PLAYS]

YO, FIGG!

COME HERE!

WHERE'S CALVIN

AT, MAN?

WE'RE GONNA GE CRUSHED OUT THERE!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

HE'LL BE HERE.

THIS IS JUST LIKE

ISSUE 511 OF GOTHAM MAN.

All:
WHAT?!

WHERE THE NAMELESS ONE

STOLE THE BLUEPRINTS

FROM THE GOTHAM CAVE.

FIGG, IF WE

LOSE THIS GAME,

WE'RE GONNA

NEED SOMEONE:

TO TAKE OUR:

FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON,

ARE YOU FEELIN' ME?

All:
WILDCATS!

GO, WILDCATS!

YO, FIGG!

OH, CALVIN.

YO, THIS SHOULD

EVEN THINGS UP A LITTLE.

HA HA!

THE WESTLAKE PLAYBOOK!

YES!

YEAH!

CALVIN,

I CANNOT BELIEVE

YOU PULLED THIS OFF.

RICH, PLEASE,

PAY THE MAN.

GRR! HA!

GOTHAM MAN. ISSUE #2.

All:
OOH.

WE ARE GOING TO:

WIN THIS THING, GUYS.

THIS IS:

PROMISED LAND TIME,

AND I'M TAKIN' US THERE,

Y'ALL!

COME ON! LET'S DO THIS!

LET'S GO!

WHOO! YEAH, BABY!

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