Life Is Ruff Page #2

GAME TIME, BABY! YEAH!

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

IT'S ME AND JACQUES.

OUR CHAMPIONSHIP SPIRI IS, LIKE, TOTALLY CONTAGIOUS.

DO YOU HAVE THE STUFF

TO BE A CHAMPION?

GOTTA FEEL THE LIFE,

GOTTA FEEL THE THUNDER

DEAL WITH ANGUISH, ANGER,

REACH DOWN IN YOURSELF

HIS PLAYING'S NO STRANGER,

YOU CAN TELL:

MOMENTS AND OPPONENTS

ARE BROKEN DOWN:

YOU NEED A BRAVE HEART,

GOTTA PLAY ON:

WITH POWER, SKILL,

AND GRACE:

WE WILL DISGRACE ANYONE

WHO STEPS IN MY FACE

NOW I'M GONNA PRESS YOU

WE'RE THE NEW SCHOOL,

TAKE A DOUBLE SCOOP

SO WE'RE TAKING ON

ALL WE WANT:

AND WE'VE BEEN LEARNIN'

AND REHEARSIN'

FOR A REASON:

GUESS WHO'S OUT OF GAS?

I KNEW YOU WERE:

GONNA BURN IT ALL THE WAY

GUESS WHO'S OUT OF GAS?

I DO WHAT WE WANT,

AND WE'RE HERE TO STAY

WE WOULD:

LIKE TO THANK:

THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY

OF BEDFORD JUNIOR HIGH

WHO CAME OUT HERE

FOR THIS SEASON:

TO SUPPORT US.

COME ON, Y'ALL.

BUT WE COULD NO HAVE DONE THIS

WITHOUT THE HELP

OF A VERY,

VERY SPECIAL FAN.

WE ARE DEDICATING

THIS ONE TO HIM.

THIS IS:

SO EMBARRASSING.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE.

IT WAS NOTHING, REALLY.

IT WAS THE LEAS I COULD DO.

CALVIN WHEELER!

GIVE IT UP, Y'ALL!

HEY, MOM. HI, DAD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

DID SOMEBODY DIE?

MM-HMM.

MR. GRADE POINT AVERAGE.

MY GRADE:

POINT AVERAGE? HMM?

NO WAY,

THAT CANNOT BE MINE.

I AM PASSING:

EVERY CLASS.

NO, YOU ARE BARELY

PASSING EVERY CLASS.

YOU'RE DOING

JUST ENOUGH TO GET BY.

AND NOT JUST AT SCHOOL.

TAKE THE GARBAGE,

FOR EXAMPLE.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

DID LOU AND THRASH

FORGET THE LAWN:

TRIMMINGS?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I GOTTA TALK:

TO THEM.

YOU'RE MISSING

THE POINT, CALVIN.

WE ASKED YOU:

TO TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT.

ALL YOUR TEACHERS SAY

YOU'RE BRIGHT AND POPULAR,

BUT THAT IS:

NOT ENOUGH, CALVIN!

LOOK, WE WANT YOU

TO GO TO COLLEGE,

HAVE A REAL FUTURE,

BUT THAT'S

NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

IF YOU KEEP TAKING

EVERY SHORTCUT YOU CAN.

ISSUE #2 DOWN,

ISSUE #1 TO GO.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

THAT WAS:

A GOOD ONE.

WHAT'S UP, FIGG?

FIGG? FIGG, YOU OK?

NONG'S COMICS. MAIN

STREET GO!

THAT...

THAT CAN'T BE

WHAT I THINK IT IS.

1947.

GOTHAM MAN.

NUMERO UNO.

EDITION ONE.

[SPRAYING]

BUT...

THERE'S ONLY

8 KNOWN COPIES

IN EXISTENCE.

LOOK A THE PRICE, CALVIN.

$3,000?

THERE'S NO WAY.

YOUR CURRENT NET WORTH

IS $144.63.

SO, THAT MEANS

I'LL NEED TO RAISE...

LESS 3,000.

$2,855.37.

NOT INCLUDING TAX.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

IT'S WHAT?

WHAT DO WE SAY:

ABOUT "THE IMPOSSIBLE?"

OK. OK.

EXPECT...THE IMPOSSIBLE!

FIGG! GET DOWN!

ALL RIGHT.

CAREFUL.

NOT THERE,

YOU DUFUS.

JACQUES AND I:

NEED A FULL 100 FEE FOR OUR TRAINING.

[DOG BARKS]

JACQUES!

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

AAH!

GET AWAY FROM JACQUES!

[GROANING]

OH, JACQUES,

MY PRECIOUS.

DID THAT BAD,

BAD BOY HURT YOU?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

THAT LITTLE RA OF YOURS ATTACKED ME.

THIS...RAT...

HAPPENS TO BE:

JEAN JACQUES:

ST. GERMAINE DE DUPREE.

HE'S AN AWARD-WINNING

PURE-BRED TERRIER.

WE'VE WON

ROYAL HOUND DOG FOOD'S

TOP DOG INVITATIONAL

2 YEARS IN A ROW.

CONGRATULATIONS.

IF I EVER DECIDE

TO GIVE A FLYING WHOOP,

I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

YEAH?

WELL, WHOOP ON THIS.

FIRST PRIZE IS $5,000.

COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?

$5,000.

WE DEFEND:

OUR TITLE IN 2 WEEKS

AT THE BEDFORD:

CIVIC CENTER.

ACCORDING TO:

THE ROYAL HOUND:

TOP DOG RULE BOOK,

THEIR INVITATIONAL

FINALS IS HELD:

ONCE A YEAR.

IN ORDER TO QUALIFY,

YOU HAVE TO:

PLACE FIRS IN AT LEAS ONE REGULAR SEASON

TOP DOG EVENT.

WIN ONE EVENT TO QUALIFY?

NO PROBLEM.

Woman:
SHH.

THAT GETS YOU AN

AUTOMATIC INVITATION

TO THE TOP:

DOG FINALS.

IT'S A

FREESTYLE EVEN JUDGED ON A SCALE

OF ONE TO 100.

THE OWNER OF:

THE DOG MUST PERFORM

A 90-SECOND ROUTINE.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

TRICKS, ACROBATICS,

WHATEVER WILL:

IMPRESS THE JUDGES.

SOUNDS LIKE EASY MONEY.

HA HA HA!

Woman:
SHH!

YEAH, EXCEP THE TOP DOG SEASON

IS ALMOST OVER,

AND WE HAPPEN:

TO BE MISSING:

SOMETHING:

KIND OF IMPORTANT.

LIKE WHAT?

Woman:
SHH!

A DOG.

THIS ONE'S 850.

850?

DOLLARS?!

CALVIN, THESE ARE

REAL, PURE-BRED DOGS.

THEY COST REAL MONEY.

YEAH, YEAH, WE NEED ONE

WE CAN GET REAL CHEAP.

WHAT'S THIS SAY?

CENTRAL CITY:

ANIMAL SHELTER?

HELLO, THERE.

SUGAR WOOGAR.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

HELLO. HELLO,

LITTLE BUDDY.

CALVIN?

OH, HEY, EMILY.

SO, HOW DOES

THIS WORK?

HOW DOES:

WHAT WORK, EXACTLY?

YOU KNOW!

ME, YOU KNOW,

GETTING A DOG.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN

HOLD MY PUPPY:

WHEN I BROUGHT HIM IN

FOR SHOW AND TELL

IN THE THIRD GRADE.

YOU REMEMBER THAT?

YOU SAID THA ANIMALS WERE DIRTY.

YOU REMEMBER THAT?

CALVIN, I HAVE

KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS!

YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING

UNLESS THERE'S

SOMETHING IN IT FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THOUGHT MAYBE:

ADOPTING A DOG:

WOULD BE:

GOOD FOR ME,

HELP ME TURN OVER

A NEW LEAF.

MAYBE I CAME TO:

THE WRONG PLACE.

CALVIN, WAIT.

UM, THERE IS ONE DOG.

WHAT IS THAT THING?

I NAMED HIM TYCHO.

AW, HE LIKES YOU.

AW, GOOD BOY, TYCHO.

OK. LOOK. OK.

ARE YOU:

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY,

100% SURE THIS IS

THE ONLY DOG AVAILABLE?

AAH!

TYCHO! NO!

GIVE ME THE SHIRT!

GIVE ME!

TYCHO, WILL YOU

LET GO OF HIS SHIRT?

PLEASE, TYCHO.

GIVE ME THE SHIRT.

OHH!

HE LOVES TO:

PLAY TUG-OF-WAR.

TAKE HIM OR LEAVE HIM.

OH, AND DO ME A FAVOR.

DON'T BUY

ANY ROYAL HOUND:

BRAND DOG FOOD:

OR ANY OF THEIR PRODUCTS.

THEY SPONSOR THESE

HORRIBLE DOG SHOWS

AND I CAN'T STAND SEEING

ANIMALS EXPLOITED.

OH, YEAH, TOTALLY. HEH.

ME, NEITHER.

OK, UM...

ALL YOU NEED IS:

A SIGNATURE FROM

A PARENT OR GUARDIAN.

THAT'S NOT GOING

TO BE A PROBLEM, IS IT?

NO, UH...OF COURSE NOT.

PROMISE YOU WILL

WORK HARDER NEXT SEMESTER?

I MEAN IT THIS TIME,

CALVIN. NO SHORTCUTS.

I'LL BRING UP MY MARKS,

I PROMISE, OK?

OK. NOW DON'T FORGET.

SIGN HERE...

[YAWNING]

AND RIGHT DOWN THERE.

HERE?

OK.

THANK YOU, MOM.

[SLURPING]

[GROANING]

ECCH!

OK, OK.

SHOULD I BE WORRIED?

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW,

ABOUT GERMS?

NO, ACTUALLY HE SHOULD.

A DOG'S MOUTH IS CLEANER

THAN A HUMAN'S.

[TYCHO DRINKING FROM TOILET]

I FIND THAT VERY HARD

TO BELIEVE.

TYCHO!

COME HERE, BOY.

COME HERE. TCH TCH!

OK, NOW THIS IS MY

HOME NUMBER.

OK.

GIVE ME A CALL:

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

AND I'LL BE COMING BY

YOUR HOUSE IN ABOUT 10 DAYS.

REALLY?

YEAH. IT'S A STANDARD

POST-ADOPTION INTERVIEW.

JUST MAKE SURE THA YOU'RE FIT AS AN OWNER.

COOL.

COME ON, BUDDY.

COME ON.

CALVIN, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE

FOR THIS DOG NOW.

YOU DO REALIZE THAT?

HEY, NO PROBLEM.

[WOOF WOOF]

OOH!

[SIGHS]

OK, LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT. GIDDY-UP!

NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M NOT GONNA PULL YOU, OK?

YOU ARE GONNA PULL ME, OK?

OK. LET'S GO.

[ARF ARF]

[WOOF]

WHOA!

WHO WANTS SOME FUN?

BREAK OUT THE FUN

WHO WANTS SOME FUN?

BREAK OUT THE FUN

CAN WE RUN AND HOP

AND JUMP AND KEEP

A LOW SUGAR RUSH

CAN WE RUN AND HOP AND JUMP

AND KEEP IT BOLD?

WHOA!

UNH!

TYCHO! SIT!

TYCHO!

TYCHO!

WHOA!

CAN WE RUN AND HOP AND JUMP

AND KEEP A LOW SUGAR RUSH?

CAN WE RUN AND HOP

AND JUMP AND KEEP

A LOW SUGAR RUSH

TYCHO!

THIS IS GETTIN' RIDICULOUS!

YOU STAY RIGHT THERE!

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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