Life Is Ruff Page #7

I GOT IT. GOT IT.

LET'S DO IT.

LET'S DO IT.

Woman:
TAKE

THE DOG AND--SHH!

GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR.

I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU

THE OPPORTUNITY:

TO SUBSCRIBE:

TO THESE--THESE

LEADING MAGAZINES

AT A GENEROUS:

DISCOUNT.

Woman:
WHAT IS GOIN' ON,

BILLY?

SOME KID:

SELLIN' MAGAZINES.

KID, WE DON'T WAN NO MAGAZINES.

[GASPING]

[GAGGING]

WHAT'S WRONG

WITH YOU, BOY?

ARE YOU OK, HON?

WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

UGH! [GASPING]

I THINK HE HAS THE ASTHMA,

YOU KNOW, LIKE MY COUSIN GAYLE?

[WOOF]

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

IF HE DIES ON OUR PORCH,

HE CAN PROBABLY SUE US

OR SOMETHING, RIGHT?

SHUT UP, BILLY!

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

YOU FEELING BETTER,

HON?

MUCH. THANK YOU.

OH, TYCHO!

AAH!

HEY, FIGG, WHEN DO

THE TOP DOG FINALS START?

8 MINUTES

AND 22 SECONDS AGO.

WHY?

YOU'RE NOT THINKING

WHAT I THINK YOU'RE THINKING.

YOU AND TYCHO:

HAVE TO COMPETE.

AND YOU HAVE TO WIN!

OTHERWISE PRESTON WILL.

IT'S UP TO HIM.

UP FOR GETTING EXPLOITED

ONE MORE TIME?

[WOOF WOOF]

[WOOF WOOF]

DAD, GUN IT! WE HAVE

A DOG SHOW TO WIN!

BUCKLE UP,

EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK TO:

THE TOP DOG FINALS,

SPONSORED BY ROYAL HOUND

DOG FOODS.

THIS YEAR'S THEME,

AROUND THE WORLD

IN 80 DOGS.

CONTESTANTS HAVE

JUST 90 SECONDS

TO IMPRESS THE JUDGES

WITH ANY PERFORMANCE

ROUTINE.

JESSICA ROSE AND HER DOG

CHICHI ARE JUS FINISHING UP

NEXT TO THE DISPLAY

OF THE ARFUL TOWER.

THAT'S GOING TO BRING UP

THIS SHOW'S

TWO-TIME DEFENDING CHAMPIONS.

THAT'S RIGHT, CHUCK,

IT'S PRESTON PRICE

AND JACQUES!

[APPLAUSE]

[ARF ARF]

[ARF ARF]

OK. GO.

Audience:
OOH!

WHERE IS CALVIN AND TYCHO?

WE ARE UP NEXT.

CALVIN, WHAT ARE

YOU GONNA DO?

YOU AND TYCHO DON'T EVEN

HAVE A ROUTINE.

I THINK WE MIGHT.

RIGHT, TYCHO?

[RRRF]

[APPLAUSE]

[ARF ARF ARF]

Holly:

AND WHAT A CATCH!

WHAT ARE THOSE,

CHUCK?

FLYING DISKS, HOLLY.

WOW!

Chuck:
FANTASTIC!

Holly:
OOH LALA, JACQUES!

[BUZZER]

Chuck:
WOW!

A FLAWLESS ROUTINE

BY THE CHAMPION!

HERE COMES SCORES.

Chuck:
A 98!

UNBELIEVABLE!

OOH, THAT IS GOING TO BE

NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAT.

IT'S GONNA GET ROUGH

IN THERE, CHUCK.

NEXT UP IS CALVIN WHEELER

AND TYCHO.

DON'T HOLD YOUR

BREATH.

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

THIS IS THE FINAL CALL

FOR CALVIN WHEELER

AND TYCHO.

GO, TYCHO!

GO!

[WOOF WOOF]

IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S

GOING TO BE A DISQUALIFICATION.

LET'S GO, BABY! WOW!

DON'T ROLL OVER YET.

LOOK!

Audience:
OHH!

[WOOF WOOF]

THERE, BABY!

OH, COOL!

WHOA!

Audience:
OHH!

[WOOF WOOF]

SURPRISED?

YOU AND YOUR NO-GOOD MUT STILL HAVE TO BEAT A 98.

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU MAY BEGIN,

MR. WHEELER.

ALL RIGHT.

FULL SPEED, TYCHO.

FULL SPEED.

HAVE ONE MINUTE:

AND 30 SECONDS TO IMPRESS

THE JUDGES IN THIS

FREESTYLE EXHIBITION.

Holly:
LET'S SEE WHA THEY HAVE IN THEIR

BAG OF TRICKS.

Holly:
HE IS HEADED

FOR THE FABLED WINDMILLS

OF OUR DOG QUIXOTE DISPLAY.

THE AUDIENCE IS JUS LAPPING THIS UP!

Chuck:
HOLLY, THEY'RE RACING

RIGHT FOR THE ARFUL TOWER.

AND THEY'RE THROUGH!

Holly:
BOTH CALVIN

AND TYCHO ARE HEADED FOR

THE ANCIENT DRUID RUINS

OF BONEHENGE!

OH, WOW! NOW

THEY'RE ON THE WAY

TO MOUNT RUFFMORE'S HALF PIPE!

AND THEY ARE MOVING!

GO, CALVIN!

DID YOU SEE THAT?

CALVIN JUST SKATED RIGHT OVER

THE WATERS OF:

THE SOUTH PAW-CIFIC!

Chuck:
NOW THEY'RE HEADED

FOR THE BRIDGE TOO FUR.

[CROWD CHEERING]

CALVIN AND TYCHO ARE

GOING TO HAVE TIME

FOR JUST ONE MORE TRICK,

HOLLY.

THAT'S RIGHT, CHUCK,

AND THEY ARE PICKING UP

SOME SERIOUS SPEED.

[ARF ARF ARF]

Chuck:
OHH!

OHH!

OHH!

AAH!

[BUZZER]

AND CALVIN STICKS

THE LANDING!

WELL, HOW I'D DO?

Man:
IT'S OBVIOUS

PRESTON SABOTAGED THE EVENT.

HE'S DISQUALIFIED.

Boy:
PRESTON PRICE CHEATED.

Woman:
THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO.

LET'S WRAP IT UP.

WE AWARD THE ROUTINE...

A 99!

THAT'S IT! FAME!

CALVIN WHEELER:

AND HIS DOG TYCHO

THE TERRIBLE:

HAVE JUST WON:

ROYAL HOUND'S

TOP DOG FINAL!

ALL RIGHT, CALVIN!

GO, BABY!

HOLD IT THERE, CALVIN!

TYCHO, CALVIN, THIS WAY!

Figg:

GUYS, GUYS, PLEASE!

PLEASE, ONE AT A TIME!

HOW PREPARED WERE YOU?

YOU.

EMILY WATSON,

BEDFORD ANIMAL SHELTER

MONTHLY NEWSLETTER.

YES?

CALVIN, I WAS WONDERING,

DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS

FOR THE PRIZE MONEY?

I SURE DO.

[WOOF WOOF]

[APPLAUSE]

AND JUST WHO WAS

STEWART BICKFORD?

THE CREATOR:

OF GOTHAM MAN.

THESE RENOVATIONS WERE

ONLY MADE POSSIBLE BY

A GENEROUS DONATION

FROM CALVIN WHEELER

AND HIS DOG,

A FORMER RESIDEN OF THIS SHELTER,

TYCHO THE TERRIBLE!

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

YOU DID IT, CALVIN.

[ARF ARF ARF]

Girl:
CUTE.

YOU'RE A CHATTY DOG.

YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO CHATTY

FOR OUR HOUSE.

[ARF GRRR]

Calvin:
YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF WE'RE EVER GOING

TO GET RUFUS A HOME,

WE'VE GOT TO WORK

ON HIS SOCIAL SKILLS.

RUFUS?

YOU KNOW WHA MR. DUDLEY SAYS ABOU NAMING THE ANIMALS.

WHAT CAN I SAY? HE LOOKS LIKE

A LITTLE RUFUS TO ME.

GUYS, HE'S JUS SCARED, THAT'S ALL.

[ARF ARF ARF]

HEY, BUDDY.

HEY, LITTLE GUY.

HIYA.

WOULD YOU:

LOOK AT THAT.

FIGG, HE ACTUALLY

LIKES YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'D SAY 5.2,

MAYBE 5.3 POUNDS.

DEFINITELY UNDER

THE WEIGHT LIMI FOR MY APARTMENT COMPLEX.

LOOKS LIKE AND TYCHO

HAVE SOME STIFF:

COMPETITION:

FOR NEXT YEAR'S

DOG SHOW.

HA! PLEASE.

AFTER THE PERFORMANCE

TYCHO AND I GAVE,

I DON'T THINK THERE IS

A DOG ON THIS EARTH...

COME ON, BUDDY.

OK, THAT CAN--

OH, YES.

YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE

KIDDIN' ME.

[WHIMPERING]

YOU KNOW WHAT, FIGG?

FIGG, WAIT.

HOW ABOU WE TEAM UP?

YOU, ME, OUR DOGS,

YOU KNOW?

WE CAN DO THIS:

KIND OF TAG TEAM

TANDEM THING.

YEAH. I MEAN,

WE CAN'T LOSE.

AT THE VERY LEAST,

YOU GONNA NEED:

A MANAGER.

YOU KNOW, SOMEONE

TO HELP YOU COUN THAT MONEY.

MM-HMM. HE'S GONNA

BE OUR LITTLE STAR.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY

THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING

INSTITUTE, INC.

DOG, DOG, DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

DOG, DOG, DOG

COME HERE, COME HERE

HE DON'T SI IN NO WINDOW

BECAUSE HE:

AIN'T FOR SALE

AND I'M KINDA SURE

HE LIKES ME:

BY THE WAY HE:

WAGS HIS TAIL:

I KNOW HE'D TRY

TO SAVE ME:

IF I FELL DOWN THE WELL

'CAUSE HE'S A FRIEND

I CAN DEPEND ON:

LORDY, WHAT'S

THAT SMELL?

IT'S A...

DOG, DOG, DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

DOG, DOG, DOG

LOOKIN' OU FOR CALVIN

DOG, DOG, DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

DOG, DOG, DOG

[RECORD SCRATCHES]

HE CAN'T HELP

THAT HE'S HAIRY

IF HE WASN'T,

HE WOULD FREEZE:

AND HE CAN'T HELP THAT

HE'S A WALKING HOTEL

FOR SOME FLEAS:

NOW, HE AIN'T MUCH

ON MANNERS:

ALTHOUGH HE AIMS

TO PLEASE:

HIS CALLING CARD

IS IN THE YARD:

REMEMBER, WIPE YOUR FEET

'CAUSE THERE'S A...

DOG, DOG, DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

LOOK AT THAT DOG

DOG, DOG, DOG

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