Life of Python Page #5

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I mean... Just... We can't do that.

I think my mother was

very ill at the time.

Uh, I don't know.

She might have just died, actually.

And then I remember

going into the kitchen

and buying some--

uh, making some coffee,

And as I was making the coffee,

I thought, why can't we do it?

I mean, it's, uh,

It's not encouraging people

to eat-- eat their mothers.

Excuse me. Um, are you, uh,

are you suggesting...

Eating my mother?

Um...

Yeah. Not raw. Cooked.

What?

Roasted, a few french fries,

broccoli, horseradish sauce.

Well, I do feel a bit peckish.

In fact, when-- when the show went out,

there were... Deep questions asked,

and I think Ian was

hauled over the coals

by the heads of department.

There was quite an uproar

at BBC about it.

It became the kind of excuse

for sort of the hierarchy

keeping a slightly tighter,

closer look at Python.

When we came to do the next series,

people wanted to start

reading scripts beforehand.

There was a joke

about the policeman.

He comes in, and he arrests

Nigel Somebody, the pop star,

and produces this brown bag,

and they-- "Well, what's in it?"

And he says, "Ah.",

he says, "Dope."

And he opens it up,

and he says, "Oh. Sandwiches.

Blimey. Whatever did I

give the wife for lunch?"

And they accepted that,

but then they catch the wife

saying, "It was better than lunch."

The BBC wouldn't have that.

They cut that.

Well, there was a sketch.

All the other Pythons thought

it was pretty funny.

I didn't think it was funny enough

to justify what I thought

was the slight tackiness involved.

I remember that I found myself

on the side of the establishment.

Bill colton, I think,

wanted to cut it.

But the Pythons always

quite correctly

referred to me as being fuddy-duddy,

a bit establishment

and all that stuff.

And I am, and proud of it.

There was one silly sketch

which John always hated

and collaborated with the BBC

to cut, I think.

It was a thing Michael and I wrote.

It was about wine tasting,

and it-- mmm.

Mm. It's very smooth,

It's flavorful, it's, um...

It's-- it's probably some k--

Savi-- oh, is it a...

A Sauternes, perhaps?

No, sir. It's wee-wee.

Ah. Yes.

Well, try this.

Ah. This is obviously much fuller,

Fuller, rounder flavour.

Probably south side of the hill.

Would it be a Medoc?

No, sir. That's wee-wee, too.

It just went on relentlessly,

and they cut that. I don't know why.

It was-- John found that

totally distasteful.

Which it is,

but that's half the point of it.

It's a silly, childish sketch.

That's the fun of it.

sit on my face

and tell me that you love me

I'll sit on your face

and tell you I love you, too

I love to hear you oralize

when I'm between your thighs

you blow me away

sit on my face

and let my lips embrace you

I'll sit on your face

and say I love you truly

life can be fine if we both 69

if we sit on the face

and it's ah, such

a pleasure to play

till we're blown away

I saw them at Hollywood Bowl,

and the audience...

It was sort of what I used to do.

That of that rock 'n' roll

idolization.

I saw that at the Hollywood Bowl.

There was only one thing

we ever all agreed on--

That the show would

never work in America.

We were all solid on this.

And it was a total surprise.

It was amazing

how we were treated in America.

We were treated like pop stars.

It was quite incredible.

At the Hollywood Bowl

and even in New York.

At the end of the show,

they would be screaming and yelling,

and girls would throw

things on the stage--

Home-baked cookies,

flowers, presents,

their knickers.

Uh, nobody ever threw

any jock straps for me,

unfortunately,

but all these knickers

were thrown on the stage.

When we left the theater,

the first night,

we opened the stage door,

there were the hordes

of screaming females.

And the fellas didn't

know what to do.

I remember one female

came up to Michael

saying, "Ah, Michael, Michael!"

Threw herself at him

and promptly fainted in his arms.

There was Michael with this female

going, "Uh... W-w-w-what do I do?"

Michael Palin is the only one

I could still die for.

Michael, if you're wondering

who sent you that

Duke Ellington tape,

it was me-- yours truly.

I love you.

I think Python is funny!

Eric Idle's really cute.

I'm available, Eric.

Um... I don't know.

I like them all, really.

I can't. I'm sorry.

I can't. I won't.

I won't choose. I want them all.

I love Hazel Pethig.

I think she does great costumes.

Hazel! Hazel!

Hazel! Hazel!

Hazel! Hazel!

Hazel! Hazel!

Hazel!

Oh, I think, uh,

The real fans are so--

can be slightly strange.

I think people adopted

this sort of thing

and learned the words,

it's maybe just slightly mad.

oh, I'm a lumberjack,

and I'm o.K.

I sleep all night,

and I work all day

he's a lumberjack,

and he's o.K.

he sleeps all night,

and he works all day

I cut down trees,

I eat my lunch

I go to the lavatory

on wednesdays I go shoppin'

and have buttered scones for tea

he cuts down tree,

he eats his lunch

he goes to the lavatory

on wednesdays he goes shopping

and has buttered scones for tea

he's a lumberjack,

and he's o.K.

he sleeps all night

and he works all day

I cut down trees,

I wear high heels

suspenders, and a bra

I wished I'd been a girlie

just like my dear mama

he cuts down trees,

he wears high heels

suspenders, and a bra

I wish I'd been a girlie

just like my dear mama

Oh! How perverse!

I thought you were so rugged!

By the time we got to New York

to open Holy Grail,

it was hugely hip.

There were lines around the block

when we opened.

The theater started with a 10:30 show,

and there were lines around the block

of Americans waiting to get in.

We had to sign coconuts.

Somebody had a good idea

of giving them--

The first thousand people--

a free coconut.

And then we had to-- somebody said,

you should autograph them.

They never tried to

autograph a coconut.

It's impossible.

Ah, Lord Pinkney,

here's the young boy

Miles you sent for.

Ah... Young Miles, is it?

What a fine lad you are.

Sit down, boy.

Sit down.

Oh, we shall get on

handsomely you and I.

You shall be clothed and fed

and-- and... Oh, dear. It's happening.

I hope miss Paine told you about this.

Oh... Oh, dear.

I'm terribly sorry.

I just--

Whenever the Pythons came in

and gave us, like, license

to kind of really, uh, take off

and, uh...

And expand even the limits

of what we were doing,

and we were perceived

to have been out there at that time.

A lot of people have

that sort of schoolboyish

or schoolgirlish attitude

towards things,

and they take it to the point

where it's not petulant anymore.

It's just very funny,

and it gives--

I mean, you sort of

experience it vicariously

from watching them.

They influenced me a great deal.

They influenced

Saturday Night Live,

I think, a great deal.

The difference was--

And this is something

we rarely said about--

Was they could edit, we couldn't.

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