Life or Something Like It

---

Things happen.

Things you never see coming.

And you think afterward,

"If I'd known this,

"would I have changed things?

"Would I have done more?

What would I be thinking?"

I need more time.

Hey, Pudge.

Stand by. Take 9-2. Cue.

Standing by.

Over the shoulder to 12-3.

Yes, I know.

They won't let you in.

They never want

to let us in.

Just get in there

as soon as possible.

Today, we got a few

high clouds around,

but they will dissipate--

Fishing is synonymous

with Seattle--

Lanie Kerrigan reporting

from the Capitol Hill Zoo.

I'm here at

the chimpanzee habitat,

where this morning

a local boy was rescued

by this gallant--

Vin!

I cannot work

with that thing.

Relax, Lanie, it's all right.

It's just a chimpanzee.

He's naturally attracted

to large yellow objects.

You're late.

I'm not late, you're early.

I ate cheese.

Tomorrow on Pressline,

Deborah Connors' intimate talk

with former president

Bill Clinton.

I wouldn't have,

you know...

put my family

through the, uh...

public pain that

I put them through.

Would you like a tissue?

She always makes them cry.

Do you think Deborah

Connors eats cheese?

And so, as another

Mariners season ends

and the retractable roof

at Safeco Field

closes until next spring,

the fans will once again

have to be comforted

by a familiar phrase:

"We'll get 'em next year."

I'm Lanie Kerrigan,

and that's Seattle Life.

Thanks, Lanie.

That does it for us.

That's Prime News--

Stand by to spin music.

Spin music.

Stand by to insert copyright.

Insert.

Stand by to dissolve 13.

Dissolve.

That's a wrap.

Good show,James.

- Edit 4.

- Yeah.

Something's come up

at the network.

They're looking

for somebody new

onA.M. USA.

They're looking for...

a young, fresh face,

someone who appeals

to that 18-35 demographic.

They're asking

all the affiliates

to send in tapes.

I'm going to send in yours.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

The phone's

been ringing, Dennis.

Thanks, Mo.

Have a seat.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

I never had a question.

What aboutAndrea?

She has been here longer.

Lanie, some people

are just local.

That's all they're

ever going to be.

You really have

a chance at this.

Oh, my God.

But don't get your hopes up.

OK.

They're looking

at hundreds of people.

OK.

The process could take months,

but in the meantime

there is plenty

that you could learn

around here.

Absolutely.

Like what?

Like camera.

Camera doesn't matter.

It matters.

I want you back with Pete.

No.

Look, Lanie, he is the best.

I can't work with him.

Look, I don't know what happened

between the 2 of you--

- Nothing happened.

- Whatever!

Do you want this job

or don't you?

Do you want to go

network or don't you?

Pete is network.

He worked for 5 years

in New York on nightly news.

You turn the camera on,

you point it at the news.

What is the big deal?

Lanie, would you do me

a favor just one time?

Do what I say.

So I'll ask

a few questions.

Just relax,

and I'll be back in 5.

Ready? OK.

OK, I've got 2 kids

for interviews,

and the manager said we could

have 30 seconds of show footage.

Oh, hey, Pete.

How are you?

You know, it's really

good to see you again.

I've missed you.

You know, Lanie,

thanks a lot for asking.

It's nice to see you, too.

Under the circumstances,

I think it would be best

if we kept things on

a purely professional level.

Define "the circumstances."

We have to work together.

We don't have to like it.

You know,

it wouldn't kill you,

to have some fun.

I have fun.

No, no, no.

You see, it's not fun

if you have to pencil it in.

Oh, I can't be spontaneous?

You don't know me.

I know that you're up

for a job at A.M. U SA,

and I know that

that fits perfectly

with your little

5-year plan, doesn't it?

I don't have a plan.

Yes, you do.

You carefully construct

every moment of your life

to project the right image.

No, I don't.

Uh, yeah, actually,

Lanie, you do.

All right.

This is what we're

going to do here.

All right? We're going

to start on the sign,

I'm going to work my way

through the crowd

and then end up on you.

Well, I like the last part.

The "you" part?

Yes, well, I am the one

telling the story.

Have you ever heard

the expression,

a picture is worth

a thousand words?

That's just for people like you

who don't know a thousand words.

Hey, well, I know 2,

and the first one

begins with an "F."

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

We got a story to do here.

All right?

Ahem.

Thank you, Lanie.

Give me that microphone.

Mm-hmm.

OK. Ready?

Yeah.

It's not a toy.

Thank you.

All right.

Everybody ready?

Oh, yeah.

All right, yeah,

we got speed.

OK, Lanie,

whenever you're ready,

we got speed.

I'm Lanie Kerrigan,

in front of

Giggles Comedy Club--

Why don't you take over?

Are you serious?

Knock yourself out.

Ha ha ha. All right!

How you doing, Seattle?

How you doing?

You happy?

Define happiness.

Your death.

She wants me.

Oh, man, you're in trouble.

He is completely unprofessional.

He turned my piece

into a joke.

It was about a comedy club.

I can't work with him.

Look, from what I understand,

the piece is fantastic,

and you look great.

Well, isn't that

why you asked for me?

I didn't ask for you.

It doesn't matter

whether she asked

for you or not.

Do you have another

cameraman on this staff

who can make her look

like a natural blonde?

Do you see what I have

to put up with, Dennis?

I am not just a reporter.

I am a TV personality.

My hair is my trademark.

Just like the

l-don't-like-to-shower look

is your trademark.

Lanie, enough.

Pete, enough out of you, too.

- Dennis.

- What?

They're ready

for you in edit 3.

Thanks, Mo.

I'll be there in a minute.

Dennis--

Look, now I want you two

to stay in this room

till I get back,

and then we'll discuss

your next story.

In the meantime, stop

acting like children

and find out a way to get along.

So, uh, how's Cal?

Fine.

How's bachelorette number 3?

You know, for someone

who supposedly hates me,

you take a healthy interest

in my love life, don't you?

Ohh, the words "healthy"

and your"love life"

do not belong in

the same sentence.

You trying to live

vicariously maybe?

I mean, God knows

your fianc's never around,

so maybe that's it.

You don't bother me.

You can't.

Because no matter how

you'd like to define it,

I can honestly say

at this moment,

my life is perfect.

Define perfection.

I'll define perfection.

Great job, great friends--

Thank you.

Great man, great apartment.

Great hair, great body.

- Thank you.

- Uh-huh.

Great new job opportunity.

Yep. Dennis told me.

And don't worry about me,

I'm fine.

I'm happy for you.

- Really?

- Really.

That's so nice.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I love your earrings.

Thank you.

You gave them to me.

- Oh.

Anyway, Pete's a dick.

He's arrogant and rude--

He's a malcontented--

Anti-socialjuvenile.

Who's overrated and overpaid.

He has no manners.

He has no idea

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