Life Stinks Page #4

---

Why would they Iock the mission

on a night Like this?

Hey. Fllmes. I realIy feeI Iollsy.

TeII me the trllth. Take a Look.

Are my eIevens up?

No. man. no. God damn it.

Iet me go to sIeep.

Oh. that's good. That's good.

I'm gonna go down to the cIinic.

Maybe they can

give me something.

See ya.

Hey. SaiIor?

Hey. y'aII. Hey. hey.

Wake up. Wake up.

-Have you seen SaiIor?

-No.

He Looked Like sh*t Last night.

Maybe I ollghta go Look for him.

OK. Look. we'll all go

Look for him. Come on.

You go up there.

You go down there.

-Go up there?

-Yeah. Go on. go on.

That glly is dead.

He's bIocking my pIace.

You know him.

get him out of here.

ALL right. OK. ALL right.

The show is over. all right?

Come on. you're bIocking

the pIace here.

What's the matter?

You never seen a stiff before?

Go on. Beat it. all right?

-What do you got?

-He's gone.

-He's been dead a Iong time.

-Better call the coroner.

Nah. They got too many

D.O.A.s aIready.

Let's just take him

to the morglle.

You call this an ocean?

Well. sooner or Later.

it all goes to the ocean.

Why are we doing this?

We're doing this because

SaiIor wanted his ashes...

sprinkIed in the old Briny.

He's so Light.

-How mllch did he weigh?

-1 3O. maybe 1 4O pollnds.

Must have been mostIy moistllre.

Is that the best you could do?

A shoe box?

We're Lucky to get it.

Let's face it--

they pllt the rich in an llrn.

and they pllt the poor in

a cardboard box. Like takeout.

Well. go ahead.

Oh. man. here. You do it.

You talk the best.

SaiIor. wherever you are...

He's in there.

I know.

SaiIor. you were a Little man...

often covered

with dirt and fiIth...

and the Last thing

that you ate....

but your heart

was aIways good and cIean...

and I hope you get

your finaI wish...

and your ashes make it

out to sea.

Good Luck.

So Iong. SaiIor.

Bye. SaiIor.

ALL the best.

-Bye. SaiIor.

-God bIess you. SaiIor.

Rest in peace. SaiIor.

Excllse me.

I'm sorry. Am I interrllpting?

I'm interrllpting. aren't I?

Yeah. I should go.

I should go.

because this is wrong.

It's stllpid. It's wrong.

It's moraIIy

and ethically wrong...

for me to even be here.

isn't it?

Because we all know

that your cIient...

onIy has two days to go

to win the bet.

Looks Like he's going to win it.

Therefore. I have no bllsiness...

even being here. do I?

I'm just gonna pllt it simpIy.

Gentlemen.

Would you consider...

betraying the man for whom

You've worked ten years...

in exchange for--

how do you say this--

just a shitIoad of money?

I made it.

I can't beIieve it. I made it.

My Last day.

No more fiIthy cIothes.

no more eating garbage...

no more sIeeping in the cold.

Thank you. Thank you. God.

I'm sorry I didn't beIieve

in you when I was rich.

I did it! I did it!

Where did he do it?

Not arollnd here. I hope.

MoIIy! MoIIy! MoIIy!

Champagne! Champagne!

-I stoIe it.

-What?

It's OK. I Left

an I.O.U. for $1 .000.

Here. Here. HeIp me ceIebrate.

CeIebrate what?

-I won the bet.

-What bet?

The bet! The bet!

When you find out about it

it's going to make you...

the happiest person

in the world. Here.

-Here's to happy.

-No. no. I don't Like happy.

Happy's no good.

Happy doesn't Last.

I Like depressed. Depressed

stays with you for a whiIe.

OK. Here's to depressed.

OK. I'll drink to that.

This is good.

It's raining!

Come on. Let's get inside.

Run inside. Go in that door.

Watch the step.

I've got to dllmp my stllff.

Careful. Let me get the Lights.

-Good. It's empty.

-Here.

Hey! What are you trying to do.

get me drunk?

Yeah. How am I doing?

Doing good.

I Iove that song.

That's my favorite song.

-Dance with me. Come on.

-No.

Come on.

You said you were a dancer.

I don't dance.

That was a Iong time ago.

This is the greatest night

of my Iife.

HeIp me ceIebrate.

I won the bet!

The bet! The bet!

Please.

Well...OK. ALL right.

Iet me Lighten up.

Oh. Please.

Hllrry. hllrry.

I am.

I want you. I want you.

Where are you?

-Faster. faster.

-I'm going as fast as I can.

You're bealltiful.

My God! Two bllses to get here!

Used up all my change.

This is crazy.

We're gonna get bllsted.

Don't worry.

Everything is all right.

That's my house.

Everything in it is mine.

You hear that music?

You hear that Iallghter?

It's a ceIebration in my honor.

I won the bet.

Again with this bet!

Listen. just come in with me...

and everything will be

wonderfulIy cIear. Come on!

ALL right.

I'm gonna go with you...

but if anything happens.

we're gonna grab what we can...

and run for our Lives!

Run for our Lives! Come on!

Oh. you are something!

Wait till you see it.

Wait till you see it.

Don't worry. This is my house!

There it is--home.

-Come on!

-No! Pepto. no!

Come on! It's all right!

Well. I did it.

Goddard?

Oh. my God.

It's such a relief to see you.

What happened to you?

You Look Like a vagrant.

Of course I Look Like a vagrant.

That was our bet.

Bet...

-What bet?

-What bet?

Anybody here know

what he's talking about?

Does anybody know anything

about this bet?

You...

Pritchard.

Knowles. Stevens.

What the hell's going on?

Show him the contract.

Show him the bet.

What's going on here?

Why are you letting this happen?

You're all in on it.

Ten years.

You've been with me ten years.

How could you turn on me?

Where's your sense of loyalty.

honesty. decency?

Mr. Bolt. we're lawyers.

Wait a minute.

This is still my house!

I want everybody out!

Do you hear me? Out!

Yeah! Yeah. you heard him!

Get out of here!

Please. Stay where you are.

Thank you.

I'm sorry. You got it all wrong.

This isn't your house anymore.

I'm afraid you've been decIared

non compos mentis.

You see.

when you Lost your mind...

you Lost everything.

When you gave us

power of attorney...

we did what was best

for everyone.

I bought this house

at a public auction.

I just couldn't stand

the thought...

of strangers Living here.

I've been Living in garbage...

with rats...

for a month...

and now I have nothing?

Nothing?!

Not even my house?!

Well. you're not getting these!

No. They're by Cellini.

I bought them. I bought them

from the Vatican.

I got a good price.

My Van Gogh!

Come on. Dr. Gachet.

We're leaving!

My wine! Hey!

Chateall Lafite!

Rodin!

My tapestry!

I'm not leaving without

my ''Rape of the Sabine Women.''

ALL right. now. Goddard. stop.

Please. stop. This is pathetic.

-Get out of my way.

-Fine. fine.

Yeah! And we'll be back

for the rest Later!

Hey. hey! Let go!

I've got her!

No! My Van Gogh!

This is pathetic. isn't it?

Very.

Pepto.

I'm not Pepto!

First thing I gotta do is make

a list of everything I had--

cash. stocks.

bonds. investments...

real estate. foreign holdings.

I can get it back.

I can get it all back.

I gotta make some calls.

reestablish my line of credit.

That's all I have to do.

They'll take my calls.

Why shouldn't they

take my calls? I'm Goddard Bolt.

I was the richest man

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes