Lightbulb

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~ Ingenious (2009) ~

"Lightbulb" (original title)

Yes, now, you

pick out the collar.

You tell me which

one you want.

Which one? Which one?

Yes.

I don't know if there's anything

here I could possibly use.

Mr. Webber?

Yeah.

Matt Reeder,

International Gifts.

Oh, right, right.

Yeah, how are you doing?

Good.

He's not

talking today.

Yeah.

You know, why don't you...

why don't you wait back in the stockroom.

Thank you.

Anything with fur?

- Ooh.

- That's gonna' hurt.

Mulligan?

Is he a member?

Sh*t.

Oops.

I have a question for you.

Being an employee here, do you

get to play a lot of golf?

Yeah, that's

why I work here.

Yeah?

What's your handicap?

Six.

Me, too!

No, really?

Yeah.

Well, six-pack.

I'm a really good drinker.

That's corny.

I know, that's terrible.

What do you say we...

we hit some balls sometime?

I'll drive the cart around.

I can watch your stroke.

Cinda.

Uhh, Preston.

Hi.

How are you, buddy?

You've got a great smile, man.

You must have a

good dental planner.

Sam Schooler.

How are you?

So, what do you got?

Now, the unique feature

of The Dreaming Dog Watch,

Mr. Webber, is the animation.

As the seconds tick by,

you can actually see what the dog

is dreaming about.

Huh!

I'll be darned!

It's clever.

Yeah.

And if you look, you'll notice

the... all the animation.

We call it

The Frustrated Golfer's Watch.

And you can see all the

curse symbols after you get

a little back slice.

Slut!

You know what I mean?

We've all been there.

I know I have.

It's priced right.

What rates you got?

n is just the

one for the moment.

But we are..

Oh, no, you see, Matt,

my customers would buy this

watch like crazy, okay?

Provided you had

their dog on it.

Oh, hold on.

Call me crazy,

maybe it's just me,

but aren't all your

members golfers?

Uhh, yeah.

And they all wear

watches, don't they?

Yeah, just

not novelty watches.

Ahh, gotcha'.

More of a Rolex crowd.

A lady with a Yorkie

is not going to buy a watch,

as cute as it is,

with a Lab on it.

Well, I know

what you mean...

You gotta' get

all the breeds, all right?

Yeah, see, I like to follow

give

the customer what they want.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I gotta' go.

Careful now.

He jumps.

You're going to tell

me that this isn't quality?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

And I'm also saying that you,

you need to pick up

a book on salesmanship.

Yeah, well,

I wrote that book, buddy!

Hi.

Walter,

I see you're still at it.

First time I ever

double-crossed the governor.

What can I do for you?

You mind if I sat down?

There's been a lamp burning

in the window for you honey,

go ahead.

Oh, I jumped out that window

a long time ago...

You can hit your

head against the wall,

try every angle,

rack your brain,

and then one day, out of

the blue, you get an idea.

The big idea.

The one you've

been waiting for.

A chance to win.

I'm going to go to bed, honey.

I've got a six o'clock flight.

Being with Gina made me

want to do anything to win.

- Well, I can appreciate that, sir...

- I'm not here!

...but our accountant

has been super busy.

Mr. Bederman.

Uh-huh.

No, he's in a meeting.

Yes, sir.

All right.

Matt.

It's here!

Brenda, you get a raise.

Sammy!

Huh?

Ooh, is that it?

Yeah, Okay.

Where's Brenda?

Brenda?

Where's she at?

Hold my calls!

Okay.

Now...

I always wanted to sell a million

of something. Let's see this!

I babied this one.

Calling Hong Kong all night,

faxing diagrams...

- ...back and forth.

- Come on, cut the sh*t!

Let's do this!

Let me see it!

And now, The

Lucky Lottery Watch.

Wow!

Lottery Watch?

That's beautiful!

Six winning numbers.

Wait, is it

different every time?

Totally random.

Wow, It's amazing, man

Imagine how many places we're

going to sell that bad boy!

First of all, everyone

who sells a lottery ticket.

Chain stores,

department stores.

- Vegas!

- Vegas!

Vegas!

We're going to Vegas!

Excuse me, guys,

but product development is

essentially defining

a need, right?

Exactly.

Does someone

playing the lottery

really a watch

to pick their numbers?

Bean! Bean!

This is not a watch.

Nope.

We, you and I,

are selling a dream!

That's right, baby.

Hold this, take it.

Sixty million people

play the lottery.

This is a product

that cannot miss.

We have a storeroom full of

products that can't miss.

We got the

remote control beer mug.

There's thousands of those.

We've got that handbag.

Bad ideal.

And the Fish Stories Clock?

Guys!

Whoa, whoa, hey,

Professor Positive.

You didn't even invent that.

Yeah, I like it.

Amazing!

It's good, man.

Let's make a million, huh?

You push this button on

the side of the case

and 6 numbers pop up.

6 numbers.

Different numbers every time.

How's he come up

with all these ideas?

Well,

believe it or not,

he used to claim it was the

hops, you know, in beer.

Now it's the universal mind.

The universal mind.

Their bookkeepers

theory is all ideas come from

some kind of collective

consciousness,

one universal mind.

OK.

I know.

But to Matt, you know,

it made perfect sense that

all ideas are floating around

in space like some kind of

old radio and TV broadcast,

and his mind is a receiving station.

A receiving station.

I know he's a little off.

Yes, but that's

why you liked him.

I know.

That's what I've

always liked about him.

You keep dreaming up the

ideas, buddy, I'll sell them.

I will.

That's for sure.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Now, we are going to

need seed money

for the new watch.

No, we're not going

to the casino, okay?

Read my lips.

We're not going to the casino.

We're not

going to the casino.

That's right.

All right.

We're going

to the dog track.

That is the

same difference.

It's a big difference.

It's a dog track,

it's not a casino.

And if Gina asks you, "Did

you go to the casino?"

And she will!

Fine.

Say no with authority,

because it's true.

It's not the casino.

Say, "No, goddamn it, Gina!

I did not go to

the f***ing casino!

I told you I

wouldn't, didn't I?"

Yeah.

Right?

You gotta' turn it around

On them just like that.

It's Bayou by a bundle!

Sam loves to

gamble on anything.

"Will the temperature

hit a hundred tomorrow?"

"I bet you I can

eat six jalapenos."

It cost him a lot of

money, and two marriages.

But he shrugs it off.

Three or four?

Your dumb dog on that one.

I like it, let's do it.

Whoa.

While we have this

moment, look, look, look!

What?

See that

dog taking a sh*t?

Look at him. Look at him.

Yeah?

Number 2!

Number 2! Number 2!

Our luck is about to change.

2... 2... 2.

Can Do!

Can Do!

This is the one, bro!

No, no, man.

Look, he's coming

down from a beating.

Okay, listen to me.

Ahh, a jockey told Carl, the

bartender, that if you see a

horse sh*t before a race,

you bet all you got on him.

He said that.

The dog is shitting,

and that's why

you're betting on him?

Yeah. Think about

it. Look at me!

He's 22 to 1.

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