Lincoln Page #29

W.N. BILBO

Well, I'll be f***ed.

LINCOLN:

I wouldn't bet against it, Mr...?

Schell startles awake as Bilbo puts down his cigar and wipes

his hand on his vest.

W.N. BILBO

W.N. Bilbo.

LINCOLN:

Mr. Bilbo. Gentlemen.

ROBERT LATHAM:

Sir...

W.N. BILBO

Why are you here? No offense, but

Mr. Seward's banished the very

mention of your name, he won't even

90.

let us use fifty-cent pieces `cause

they got your face on `em.

LINCOLN:

The Secretary of State here tells

me that, uh, you got eleven

Democrats in the bag. That's

encouraging.

ROBERT LATHAM:

Oh, you've got no cause to be

encouraged. Sir. Uh...

RICHARD SCHELL:

Are we being...fired?

Lincoln sits at the card table.

LINCOLN:

"We have heard the chimes of

midnight, Master Shallow." I'm here

to alert you boys that the great

day of reckoning is nigh upon us.

RICHARD SCHELL:

The Democrats we've yet to bag,

sir. The patronage jobs simply

won't bag `em. They require

more...convincing, Mr. President.

Lincoln nods. He turns to Bilbo.

LINCOLN:

Mm-hmm. Do me a favor, willya?

W.N. BILBO

Sure.

LINCOLN:

Snagged my eye in the paper this

morning. Governor Curtin is set to

declare a winner in the disputed

Congressional election for the -

W.N. BILBO

Pennsylvania 16th District.

LINCOLN:

What a joy to be comprehended. Hop

on a train to Philadell, call on

the Governor -

91.

SEWARD:

(looking askance at

BILBO'S APPEARANCE:)

Send Latham. Or Schell.

LINCOLN:

(TO BILBO:
)

No, he'll do fine, just polish

yourself up first.

Bilbo, cigar back in mouth, laughs.

ROBERT LATHAM:

The incumbent is claiming he won

it. Name of, uh...

W.N. BILBO

Coffroth.

LINCOLN:

That's him.

RICHARD SCHELL:

Coffroth. He is a Democrat.

LINCOLN W.N. BILBO

I understand he is. Silly name.

Let Governor Curtin know it'd

be much appreciated if he'd

invite the House of

Representatives to decide who

won. He's entitled to do

that. He'll agree to it.

(TO SCHELL:
)

Then advise Coffroth, if he

hopes to retain his seat,

that he'd better pay a visit

to Thaddeus Stevens.

SEWARD:

Pity poor Coffroth.

INT. THADDEUS STEVENS'S OFFICE, THE CAPITOL - NIGHT

Stevens is at his desk, paperwork piled high. There's a knock

at the door.

THADDEUS STEVENS

It opens!

A nervous man enters hesitantly: Alexander Coffroth.

92.

Stevens glares at him with what looks like horror. Coffroth's

frightened smile transforms into a rictus of pain. Then:

THADDEUS STEVENS (CONT'D)

You are Canfrey?

ALEXANDER COFFROTH

Coffroth, Mr. Stevens, Alexander

Coffroth, I'm, I'm -

THADDEUS STEVENS

(SKEPTICAL)

Are we representatives of the same

state?

ALEXANDER COFFROTH

Y-yes sir! We sit only three desks

APART -

Stevens waves him into a chair.

THADDEUS STEVENS

I haven't noticed you. I'm a

Republican, and you, Coughdrop, are

a Democrat?

ALEXANDER COFFROTH

Well, I... Um, that is to say... I -

THADDEUS STEVENS

The modern travesty of Thomas

Jefferson's political organization

to which you have attached yourself

like a barnacle has the effrontery

to call itself The Democratic

Party. You are a Dem-o-crat.

What's the matter with you? Are you

wicked?

ALEXANDER COFFROTH

Well, I felt, um, formerly, I -

THADDEUS STEVENS

Never mind, Coffsnot. You were

ignominiously trounced at the

hustings in November's election by

your worthy challenger, a

REPUBLICAN -

ALEXANDER COFFROTH

No, sir, I was not, um, trounced!

Uh, he wants to steal my seat! I

didn't lose the election -

93.

THADDEUS STEVENS

What difference does it make if you

lost or not?! The governor of our

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