Listen Up Philip Page #2

issue of the New York Literary Review.

- Nobody reads that anymore.

- This is something.

It is not uncompetitive.

Don't be a baby.

Sh*t.

Other thing is,

Ike Zimmerman got back to me.

- He liked your book, wants to meet you.

- That's huge.

'Ike Zimmerman was one

of the most prolific American authors

'of the 1970s and '80s.

'His breakthrough novel,

Madness & Women,

'sold over three million copies

in hardback alone.

'Lesser returns

and failed genre experiments

'gave way to the triumphant comeback

Audit in 1982.

'Since then he published infrequently.

'He had not completed a novel

in six years.'

Do you wanna look in our wardrobe area?

We can probably find you

a lighter-weight jacket.

Let's just keep this jacket on me and take

the photograph sooner rather than later.

We actually wanted to get a picture

of you in front of the printing press,

and then the portrait.

- Is that from the 1920s?

- Yeah.

Well, I'm not, so let's skip it

and move on over

to this yellow thing, all right?

I know. "What an a**hole."

Would you mind standing?

What is this for?

Could you open it as though you're reading,

then look at me again?

I don't wanna do that.

- Why?

- It's a poor idea.

Why would I be standing up

with my jacket buttoned, reading?

- It's just a prop.

- I can see that.

But I think it presents

a very false depiction of me.

I'd much rather

this picture at least seem honest.

You know, Tolkien wouldn't allow himself

to be photographed writing,

because he didn't allow

anybody to watch him work.

Same idea here.

Just slightly modified to suit me.

Philip.

I hope that wasn't too bad.

It's always bad.

There's just degrees of bad.

Oh, hey. How's it going?

Mmh... good.

We met before.

Er... I don't think we have.

You sure about that?

Um... I wanted to tell you

I really liked your book.

Those advance copies

really get around, huh?

Anyway, the first one's better.

Um, I haven't read it.

I'm not some weird groupie or anything.

No, if you were a groupie,

you likely would have read both my books.

Are there book groupies?

Author groupies?

Not many, but yeah.

Hey! Quick thought I just had.

I'm not doing any press for the book at all.

Readings, interviews. Nothing.

- You cannot be serious.

- Oh, quite.

That's a horrible, horrible idea.

I don't like the idea

of being on display.

My mind is made up.

I wanna be left alone.

Hi, Riley.

I think the tie is a bit much.

I'm invited to his home.

I don't wanna look like a schmo.

Then maybe lose the jacket.

You know, it's 80 degrees out.

It looks like you don't own

a more seasonally-appropriate jacket.

I don't know, I think it looks nice.

Yeah. Nice, just kind of sweaty.

- Philip Lewis Friedman.

- Go get 'em.

- OK, bye.

- Bye.

- Pleasure.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

- Fix your collar.

- Huh?

- Your collar.

Oh. Thank you.

I'd seriously consider having a better

answer to that question if I were you.

I'm filling up notebooks,

but it's nothing but worthless garbage.

Don't tell people that.

Makes you look lazy and stupid.

Got it.

That probably came out

a lot crueller than I intended.

But don't make being lackadaisical

and disorganised your thing.

- It sends out a message that you'll regret.

- I see.

Do you have a nice place to write?

I mean, that's important.

You'll find that,

if you haven't already.

I rented a small studio.

Does it work for you?

No, not really. In fact, I rarely go.

Here.

I probably wouldn't have wanted

to hear this either

when I was your age, but...

The city.

You can't get anything done here.

It has a creative energy,

but not a productive energy.

Quiet does not exist,

and I find that difficult.

Do you know,

I've not written a single page

within the city limits

these past 30 years?

You'll need a country retreat,

if you can afford one.

I can't.

Well...

Of course, I had achieved

considerably more than you by now.

- Not to be insulting.

- Of course.

But if I can be of any assistance,

if I can help in any way,

just ask outright.

Don't be shy.

I loved your book.

- Yeah, it was OK.

- Don't denigrate yourself.

It's really, really good,

and it would be a shame

for me not to read another one.

Hello.

It's a filthy system, the way it's structured.

You can trust me on this.

I'm not sorry if this kills

any of your illusions about anything.

I feel like it's my job

to tell you the honesty.

Nobody else has.

Nobody else can.

It's rare to find these things out,

and also upsetting.

These little glasses.

Let me see these things.

Oh, yeah, we have

the exact same affectation.

Mm-mmh...

Ah... Emily.

Erm...

Seems like a less than ideal place

to carry on.

Is it 'cause you have a girlfriend?

You mentioned her in an interview.

It's because it's gauche

to grope and kiss in public.

You really don't remember

meeting me, do you?

I had a photo shoot in that same place

when my first book came out.

I gave you a copy of it.

You acted like you were better than some

first-time author nobody had ever heard of,

even though you were probably

still in college.

I wrote my number in it, twice.

I really honestly

don't remember meeting you.

Sorry, but I remember you now.

Oh, of course you do.

OK. I'll call you.

Where were you?

Out.

So, my meeting with Ike today...

Oh, so he's Ike now?

- With Zimmerman. How's your gin?

- How was he?

He has a quality

that can only be described as... chrome.

- And?

- He seems to wanna help me.

How can he help you?

He didn't say.

He's got great stories.

I'd love to hang out with him again.

Do we have plans?

- Do we have plans when?

- Whenever.

Yes, Philip, I'd say sometime in the

indeterminate future, we may have plans.

Good shoot today?

Can you just leave me alone?

I have to do this.

You're f***ing with

other people's money here.

Money, money, money.

What about my integrity?

You know, I can think of

a few other important writers

who also took a firm no-press position.

I just wanna know that you've

thought it through thoroughly.

I haven't.

It's a very impulsive decision,

and I'm very pleased with myself for that.

Philip, this is Josh Fawn.

Josh, this is Philip,

who's being a baby and an a**hole.

Ciao. Yes, we've met before.

We've done some panels together.

Er... I remember one of them.

Phil, Josh is going on a promotional tour

for his new book.

That's what responsible authors do.

It helps them sell copies

and benefits all parties involved.

- Noted.

- We're wanting you to cover this

as a feature for one of several magazines,

that we're currently negotiating with.

I just like the new book,

and this idea came up,

and I kind of suggested you.

- Thanks, Josh.

- Interest?

Terms?

You'll take whatever we can get you.

It'll be two to three weeks.

I assume we can get you

something like 5,000 to 8,000

depending on where

we ultimately sell it to.

Right in my pocket. Sounds great.

See, when I slam a door,

life opens a window. When do we leave?

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