Listen Up Philip Page #4

- Do you think you'll be all right here?

- Yes, I do.

I thought so.

Hello?

Dad?

Hello?

Are you that kid?

You're the caretaker, Melanie?

Dad mentioned you might be here.

So, this comes as no surprise.

Not to me, no.

"Dad"?

Beautiful sunset.

- Productive day?

- Not particularly.

I'm glad that he's replaced himself

with a younger surrogate

to handle the forlorn moping.

I'm glad it pleases you.

He'll be back in a few days.

I know.

I wasn't sure if you cared about

me being here and him not.

- I do not.

- Right.

Because you are a guest.

And this is probably your summer home.

He used to bring other women here

so he could cheat on my mother.

So, no family vacations.

Only horrible, traumatic ones.

You never smell cut grass in the city.

I don't find you charming.

You are just like him, and I hope you learn

to take responsibility for yourself

before you destroy the lives

of people who care about you.

This is really nice.

Thanks, Dad.

So, how's it been up here?

It's been good.

I've really enjoyed all the alone time.

I'm sorry about the scheduling problem.

Will you admit that you made a mistake?

I don't think that's necessary.

It was a simple misunderstanding.

Could happen to anyone.

Was anybody speaking to you?

- I thought I was part of the conversation.

- Well, you weren't supposed to be.

In fact, you're not even

supposed to be here.

I am. Does that make sense?

You are the scheduling problem

I was referring to.

I thought you were talking about

how your father had to go back to the city.

- Yeah, I thought so too.

- Well, I wasn't.

You didn't make that clear, sweetheart.

I can't process how grossly dissatisfied

I find myself feeling.

Things I've coveted for years are mine now,

and all I feel is miserable.

That is so clich.

But you know that, so I won't bother

reminding you of how silly you sound.

Didn't you say you, erm...

you placed on some

silly list of young so-and-so's?

35 under 35.

That's it. Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't have crap like that

when I was your age.

You're ahead of the game.

Yeah, but when you were 32,

didn't you win the National Book Award?

That's true.

But you are not me.

How would you like to accept

a gracious favour I've done for you?

Depends on what it is.

That answer is at once

both arrogant and correct.

Don't accept too readily

something you might want.

In any event, a friend of mine

from Lambert College got in touch.

They're looking for an

adjunct creative writing instructor

for the fall semester.

I teach there occasionally, as you know,

but usually more advanced

seminars, so...

I find this to be beneath me,

but it's a good opportunity for you.

He'd like to interview you tomorrow.

- You can take my car.

- What does it pay?

At that level, I have no idea.

But, hey, you haven't got

the position yet.

I've merely placed you on their radar.

But you're notable now, and that helps.

We're so excited you accepted.

The new book is really terrific.

Oh, boy.

I wish somebody here

would say something mean.

- Mean?

- Or honest.

It's unlikely that everybody here

has nothing but praise.

It's not real.

I don't like how this is starting.

These are decent people.

They just want to be your friend.

I know, that's the problem.

Sorry to bother you again.

- Is there trash in here?

- Yes, I'm right here.

Hey.

It's Philip.

You look like you're asleep

with your eyes open.

I didn't even see you there.

You were looking right at me.

You were right. This place is beautiful.

You sure you don't want any of these?

Brought you a whole box.

I'd rather just look around

and stare at people.

I was surprised you called me.

I didn't see any way that I couldn't.

Things are pretty hectic

with my new book and everything.

That's pretty cool.

No, it's not cool. It's f***ing amazing.

Do you know how few people

reach this level?

You seem to not care.

I really don't.

Did you ask me here

so you could talk about yourself?

Next question.

Does talking about this stuff

make you feel happy?

No.

I find thinking about it all

to be unfulfilling and exhausting.

Does nothing for me.

Well, that's how the rest of your life

is gonna be.

Unfulfilling and exhausting.

I think success has made you ugly.

I think you've gotten far too in touch

with your selfish instincts,

and it's not healthy.

But I still think about you.

I think the guy I used to know

would have made a really great boyfriend.

I want to take that cupcake

out of your hand right now

and throw it

so f***ing far away from you.

Goddamn it, you make me sick.

You're just a big baby.

Babies wanna be around sugar all the time.

No wonder you're a baker.

You're the worst.

I'm not successful, I'm notable.

There's a difference.

Besides, I'm not notable, either.

Noteworthy at best.

I once considered you

my favourite ex-girlfriend.

That's very sweet of you.

Let's... let's turn this day around,

do something fun.

Maybe, I don't know, break into a bank,

or rob a car or something.

- All right, let's do it.

- Let's do it.

Got some wire hangers at my place.

Oh, great, well, let's steal a car,

go to your place, get the wire hangers,

come back, steal another car,

and just drive off.

OK.

I feel like it wouldn't be weird

for you to kiss me right now.

Every girl's so beautiful to me.

I don't wanna think about her at all anymore.

- You should have followed her.

- She wouldn't have me.

And besides, she's moved on.

And in a way, so have I.

Just not actually, of course.

Well, I speak from experience

when I say that it is horrible...

to be treated in a way that only points out

how meaningless you are.

Never thought of it that way.

He's here.

Yeah, he just walked into your bedroom.

Oh, hey, how's it goin'?

You're a monster.

I hate you.

Then I doubt you'll mind me

being gone through December.

I don't even know

how to respond to that.

I've been offered a position teaching

creative writing at Lambert College.

I'm moving there for the semester.

You stood in my way

when I had so many opportunities.

I guess that's why I'm telling you

about this after I agreed to it.

So you decided to sneak back

in the middle of the night?

It's not the middle of the night, Ashley.

It's 10:
00pm.

Besides, I had some meetings

in the city that ran late,

and I considered

just buying new clothes,

but I needed to get some books

I wanted to re-read.

Also, I want my car.

Oh, sh*t, I forgot about the car.

You haven't been moving it

for street cleaning?

I've been gone for three weeks.

Do you know how many tickets I must have?

I kind of would have thought

this to be beneath you.

You know, at one time

I would have as well,

but look at me now.

- You're a man of contradictions.

- No, I'm not.

Who are all these a**holes?

They're my friends.

"They're my friends."

Mostly.

I got this job, this...

This national ad campaign, so...

We're celebrating.

That's great.

'Philip wished Ashley

had not reminded him

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