Little Bitches Page #2

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"Stanford girl."

Don't cry. You can't

I don't wanna call you

your first name.

I wanna call you "Stanford

girl," oh, my goodness.

- I love you so much. I can't...

- I love you too.

Congratulations, seniors.

We've made it through

another school year.

Just remember that

today is your last day

to put your pictures up

on the college board map.

That's where we can see

where you're all going,

so we can all stay in touch.

On behalf of the entire

faculty, I just wanna say

how proud and honored I am

to have taught all of you,

and see you blossom into

the adults that I know you are.

I wanna get your p*ssy filled.

Okay.

Yeah.

You have so many

questions about sex.

We should get you some answers.

So?

Phil. Philly Cheesesteak!

- Hey.

- Hey.

Legland.

Hey.

What's good with you girls?

Hey.

Y'all chilling?

Chill... yeah. Just hanging out

and talking, you know?

I feel you.

I feel you.

Yo, y'all hip

to this new thug tape?

Yo, gangster sh*t.

Doesn't come out for a minute.

I got it two weeks early.

So you're, like,

ahead of the curve.

I mean, it's like, you know,

a culture, gangster sh*t.

You're on the pulse.

I'm sorry, what?

Like you know what's up

before it's up.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, you can call me hip.

Got it.

Yeah, that's exactly it.

One hundred, one hundred.

Right, yeah. I dig.

Good for you.

We're just trying to figure out

where the party is tonight.

Oh, yeah, me too.

I asked some dude.

He just called me a boner.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm not...

I'm not mad at him.

Not tripping.

I laugh at bullies, you know?

That's so cool.

Annie's status is "sometimes

my feet smell and my nose runs.

Does that mean

I was built upside down?"

Ugh. Sometimes

she's so stupid,

I think we should

worry about her,

but then I'm like, "nah."

That is so stupid.

It doesn't even make sense.

Like, I don't even get it.

Kelly, I cannot believe

you used to be friends

with those girls.

Yeah, it was a while ago.

You're so much better than them.

I mean, look at them.

They're so ugly

and kind of dusty-looking.

Seriously, Kelly,

how have you not told anyone

where you're going to college?

People are, like,

getting pissed.

You girls gonna be around

this summer?

Yes. Yeah.

Both of us will be.

I will be. She will be.

Both of us.

I'm... I'm

chilling too.

I'd love to hang...

Hang out, if you guys are down.

Sweet. I wanna hang.

I love food.

Me too.

- Sweet, sounds awesome.

- Definitely.

Great. Cool.

Great.

I'm, uh,

I'm gonna roll out, guys.

Sweet.

Awesome.

Good talking to you.

Likewise. Okay.

I'm sorry.

I went for another one.

She is so f***ing gangster.

I can't even.

Later.

Annie, dude!

He's got f***ing skinny legs.

You know what they say about

guys with skinny legs.

What do they say?

Big old d*cks.

Really?

Yeah.

Do you think he has a big dick?

I don't know, man.

I wonder if it has

lots of veins in it.

D*cks have veins?

You haven't applied to

a single college, Marisa.

Yeah.

You literally think you're

too cool for school,

what, 'cause

your parents got divorced?

Everyone's parents get divorced.

We all know you went to go live

with your mom for two years.

Okay, you're back now,

and you're mine.

You wanna know

what I did in high school?

Yes. Please.

Tell me.

I gained 60 pounds in 12 days.

What?

Okay, the doctors were stunned.

I was on the evening news,

which was kind of great.

Listen, you have

to go to college, okay?

You don't have any skills.

Okay. Thanks.

Let me guess, you're gonna start

going by the name "tangerine"?

Start writing,

like, a feminist blog?

Get out of my... go!

Get out of my office.

What...?

Get out!

Really?

No, don't actually go.

Just stay but listen.

Keep your panties on, tangerine.

We've got a couple

of lessons to learn.

Marisa, could I get

a lorazepam, or an ativan,

or even, like, a Tylenol pm?

I just feel really nervous.

I wanna, but, uh, after I

gave something to that freshman,

his mom put him in rehab.

Thinks he's a drug addict.

You kind of did him a favor,

though, 'cause rehab's cool now.

I mean, I wanna go to rehab.

It would give me street cred.

What would you go for?

Not alcohol. That's f***ed up.

Drugs.

Here's my star.

There she is.

So which university's orchestra

is the lucky winner?

We're dying to know.

Do we know?

Hey, Mr. Warner.

No, we don't know yet.

Because me, Marisa,

and Kelly are waiting

for a special moment

to open our letters.

Um, we decided freshman year

after I almost had to

suck off a banana that

we'd all do it together.

It's a big thing.

But that was before Kelly was

Xena:
c*nt warrior Princess

though.

Okay.

Let's not...

Stupid b*tch.

Well, let's not go...

Jeez, you know?

So where are you girls

going to college?

You've got such vast skills.

Mr. Warner,

do you happen to know

where the party is tonight?

Well, I'm afraid

I can't help you there.

But I have been listening

to some of the kids.

And I did hear, um,

"don't forget to vote."

So not really

sure what that means.

Wow, okay.

Thank you.

I do remember this night

well though.

What you're doing

is you're wondering:

"Is Rebecca Franklin still gonna

want to make out with you

despite the fact

that you puked on her arm

and you scraped up your knee

on the concrete pretty good.

But, no, no, she's off.

She's chasing Trent Richland

with the rest of the girls

and the boys."

Who's Trent Richland?

This is f***ing ridiculous.

Stupid kids.

How'd they even get your

phone number?

From Facebook.

I put it up on Facebook.

Big mistake.

This is officer Richland.

Very funny, you little turd.

I can find you.

I can trace the...

Don't give them

the satisfaction, Trent.

I should've shaved.

F***ing went undercover.

Yeah, that would've helped.

These little shits.

Look at them all.

Oh, yep. Yep.

Sorry. Sorry.

Keep walking. Keep walking!

Sorry.

Idiots. I'm gonna f***

these kids up tonight.

I hope not.

I'm gonna f*** them up tonight.

I really hope you don't.

When you whisper,

it sounds more menacing.

Do me a favor, and stand down.

They're kids having fun at

the end of the year. You know?

You can turn

a blind eye to a party...

"Turn a blind eye," Joe Paterno?

See where that led him?

You see what happened to him?

You idiot.

You're the kind of guy

that thinks Jared from subway

actually just loves

submarine sandwiches.

No, he loved f***ing

little boys, okay?

There's something going on, pal.

So keep your

f***ing eyes peeled.

Because this party could be

anywhere and nowhere

at the same time.

Why don't we just let

these kids have their moment?

This is my moment.

Okay?

It smells like asparagus.

Kid, did you piss yourself?

I'm sorry.

We can't keep holding this kid

for texting and walking,

which isn't a crime.

His parents could sue us.

They could sue us.

Your parents gonna sue me?

Oh, t-they won't sue.

They're dentists.

They just...

Just let me go.

They're dentists, huh?

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