Little Evil Page #9

---

- Come on. Come on! [STRAINING]

- Put it up.

- All right, higher.

Guys, I have the key.

Guys, I'm a real estate agent.

I have the key!

I'm the Keymaster.

- Well, then open the door, dipshit.

- Okay.

Ah...

Okay, got it.

- Come on, let's go!

- Go, go, go!

You! You were never meant to be the one...

[PAINED GROAN]

Nice punch, Gary.

Yeah, you really laid out

that very tiny woman.

Maybe take it easy on the old ladies, huh?

- Big Guy might be watching.

- Come on, guys.

[SCREAMS]

[ALL EXCLAIM]

Or not.

Guys.

[CHANTING]

The time is close, my son.

Yours is the greatest sacrifice.

[GRUNTS]

You are but a vessel for greatness!

[GRUNTS]

[CHANTING] Kill the child!

Kill the child! Kill the child!

Kill the child! Kill the child!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

- Hey. Psst.

- [MUFFLED] Get away from me!

- It's me.

- [MUFFLED SPEAKING]

- What are you doing?

- We're here to save you.

- Get up there and do something.

- Right.

The time has come!

- Ten, nine, eight...

- They're gonna kill him, Gar!

- Seven, six.

- Heads up.

Five, four...

- It's all up to you now, buddy.

- Three, two, one!

The time has come

to open the gates of hell!

[CHEERING]

Gary, now!

[GRUNTS]

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Oh, my God.

Go, go, go, go, go!

- Get away!

- No, look! It's us!

We met at the party.

- I'm Larry.

- Al?

- It's us.

- It was, like, a Tuesday.

You messing with my boy?

Because you mess with my boy,

you mess with me!

As for the rest of you,

you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Really, all of you.

I think you need to do

some real soul searching.

[DEMONIC GROWL]

Look yourselves in the mirror and say,

"Is this who I really want..."

Oh, sh*t.

"to... be...?"

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, Lucas?

You okay, buddy?

[DEMONIC GROWL]

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Lucas!

[GARY] Lucas!

Lucas!

[GRUNTS]

I got you, buddy! I got you!

[DEMONIC VOICE] Let me go!

- No!

- You must let me go!

No! I won't!

- [NORMAL VOICE] Daddy?

- Yes, Lucas?

I'm scared.

Don't be scared, sweetie.

- I got you.

- [DEMONIC VOICE] Let him go!

[SCREAMING]

Okay, maybe a little fear

is totally justified,

but I'm not letting you go!

I'm never letting go, buddy!

- Why?

- Because I'm your father!

And I love you!

[DEMONIC VOICE] You're his stepfather!

[SCREAMING]

I'm not leaving you!

[GROANING]

F***!

- Oh, my God.

- [COUGHING]

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- Gary.

- Gary.

Lucas!

Gary!

- I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry.

[SAMANTHA CRYING]

Oh, my God!

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

- Help him up!

- Come on.

- Easy.

- All right.

Let him breathe.

That's some Indiana Jones sh*t, dawg.

Holy sh*t. Oh, my God.

He's probably got minor scrapes,

but you know...

- It's 'cause of us. It's 'cause of us.

- We did good.

Hon, you told me when you're a parent,

you hope for the best,

but prepare for the worst.

- Yeah.

- Please tell me that was it.

[LAUGHS]

You did it. [CHUCKLES]

You really came through for us.

You're the one, baby.

You were always the one.

I love you.

[GRUNTS]

I love you, too.

[DAD] I wish I had a bonding moment

like this with my son.

- Not exactly like this.

- A milkshake with two straws.

[DAD] No, I know, a Little League game,

like, a ball game or something.

I mean, there was f***ing...

The child must die!

- Mom!

- Come on.

[SHOUTS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

- [SCREAMING]

- Oh, sh*t!

Don't ever f*** with my kid again!

- Okay.

- That's bad-ass.

They both punch really well, like,

when people run up to them in churches.

Can we get out of here?

I just wanna get out of here.

Yeah.

- I think we go.

- Okay, let's go.

[SAMANTHA SIGHS] Let's go, guys.

Come on. Tomorrow's a new day.

- [GARY] Yeah.

- [SAMANTHA] Oh, boy.

[GARY] You know, this might sound weird,

but I think maybe

we should go get some ice cream.

[DAD] I still have my kid's backpack

in my trunk.

We go get ice cream,

and then all sh*t in it.

- [DAD 2] I can sh*t in your backpack now.

- [GARY] Yeah, sure, why not?

[DAD 3] I already sh*t my pants, though.

I don't know if I have any left.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[HORN BLARES]

[CHEERING CONTINUING]

All right, you guys are up next.

- No, no, no. We're not ready.

- Yes, we are.

- Dad, we're fine.

- Okay, best of luck to both you guys.

Lucas, we are not ready yet.

I haven't adjusted the steering column.

- The brakes...

- Stop worrying, okay?

- Okay. All right.

- You just have to trust me.

I trust you.

- And I'm driving.

- What?

No, no, no. You can't drive. You're six.

[CHEERING]

All right, just don't turn too hard

in either direction, okay?

Just try to keep it steady.

- [HORN BLARES]

- Whoa!

Look at the cool design on that one!

I'm not gonna lie, man.

That's pretty f***ing rad, bro!

- There they go! Let's go!

- Sh*t!

- Hey! Who wants it more, baby?

- Go defense!

Go, Gary! Go, Lucas!

Not too much! Back the other way!

Hang on, Dad.

Things are just about to get interesting.

- Lucas! Lucas! [SCREAMS]

- Yeah!

["CAN'T GO TO HELL"

BY SIN SHAKE SIN PLAYING]

Walk right in

All you sinners and saints

Tonight's the night

We're gonna take off these chains

Some wounds

Will never mend

It came with a warning

Now we're all out of time

This romance with ignorance

Has left us behind

Sit back

Relax, begin

It's too early for surrender

Too late for a prayer

We can't go to hell

If we're already there

They say the end is coming

And I need to prepare

We can't go to Hell

If we're already there

It's no mystery, what can I say?

We're blind by design

And history keeps getting paid

To change its mind

Some wounds

Will never mend

Divided by deception

But together we must rise

Deafened by the naive

While we silence the wise

So sit back

Relax, begin

It's too early for surrender

Too late for a prayer

We can't go to hell

If we're already there

They say the end is coming

And I need to prepare

We can't go to hell

If we're already there

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes