Little Fockers Page #11

Thank you, nurse.

You did good.

We'll take it from here.

By the way,

how'd you guys come by

all these bruises

and lacerations?

Oh, it's a long story.

We were in

the bouncy castle,

and then he tripped, and...

I get it.

My father-in-law tripped

through a plate glass window

at my wedding last year.

All right.

Let's get him loaded up.

Don't worry.

We'll take care

of your husband.

We're gonna follow

behind you in the car.

All right?

Greg.

I know you were

telling the truth

about Andi, Greg.

Really?

Yeah.

The pulse on your

carotid artery

remained steady

as you pleaded

your innocence.

Right, of course.

And, Greg.

Yeah.

It was never going to be

Dr. Bob. It was you.

It was always you.

You just relax and

stay quiet, Mr. Byrnes.

I'll see you

over there. Okay?

...Focker.

Why is he cursing at us?

Hey, we are trying

to help you, sir.

What? What?

You're the Greg Focker.

I'm sorry, what?

You're the...

You're the Greg Focker.

I'm the Greg Focker.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Let's get him up.

One more.

I need more. I need more.

One more, one more.

No, I need more.

Another present.

- Here.

Best Chistmakkah ever.

This is a very

special gift, guys.

One more, cool!

What is it,

Grandpa Bernie?

I've had it with me

my entire life.

It's my own original

whoopee cushion.

What does it do?

Are you kidding me?

Jack, lift up your leg.

Jack, come on.

Disgusting!

It farts!

Jack, we have to

laugh at the stuff that

makes us human, right?

Gas, burps.

Picking noses?

You kids want to pick

your nose and flick

your boogers, do it.

Hey, Bernie.

But do it only

when it's dry.

Don't do a wet one.

I have something for Jack.

Take that to your room.

It's what makes life, life!

I know. I know.

Here, Jack,

this is a little something

from Bernie and me to you.

Oh, how thoughtful.

Thank you.

It is a very

thoughtful gift.

It was your idea.

I know.

What's this?

- What is that?

That is your own

personal yarmulke!

Jack.

One of those

little Jewish hats.

Cute.

We know

that you're into that

genealogy stuff.

So, when I was

nursing you back to health,

I took the opportunity,

when you were taking a nap,

of snipping

a couple of your pubes

and I sent it to one of

those DNA testing sites.

You did what?

We thought it'd be fun

to trace your lineage

all the way back.

Yes.

And it turns out,

Jack T. Byrnes,

that you are

one twenty-third Israelite!

Welcome to the tribe, Jack!

While I dispute the findings,

I appreciate the gesture.

Thank you, Bernard, Roz.

You're welcome, Ya'akov.

Your Hebrew name.

Ya'akov.

Ya'akov.

Ya'akov.

Two A's.

Well, listen, Greg,

we're in your home

and you're in charge here,

so why don't you

lead us in a toast?

Right.

Honestly, Jack,

I have no desire

to try and sound like I am

in any way

in charge of anything

in this house.

But I do love our family

very, very much.

And I'm really happy

that we can all be here

together for the weekend.

Then we'll part ways

and you guys will

return to your homes

in your own

respective states.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Actually, sweetheart,

your dad and I

have a little...

Gaylord, we're moving

to Chicago.

No, we're serious.

We sold Focker Isle.

We just bought

the house two doors down.

Isn't that great?

No, that's not great.

Oh, no,

if they're moving here,

then we're moving here.

Good!

We'll live together,

one big happy family.

We should discuss this.

No. No. No. Jack,

nobody's moving because

nobody's moving. Right?

How else are the kids

gonna be Fockerized

if we don't live here?

No. Nobody's going

to be Fockerized.

No.

Why not?

This Google is

a wonderful tool,

Jinxy cat.

Don't tell anyone,

but I'm going to do

a search on myself.

Come on. Who needs

something like this?

Who's the target demo

for a drug like Sustengo?

And I got to say

it's somebody like

my father-in-law.

His name is Jack Byrnes.

You know,

he had a heart attack

and he called me up,

he said, "Greg, I've had

a heart attack."

Now, I said,

"First of all, Jack,

"don't you have

to have a heart to

get one of those?"

First weekend I ever met him,

he said to me, he said,

"Hey, listen,

keep your snake in its cage

for the next 72 hours."

I didn't say it like that.

All right.

Maybe somebody's

had their snake

in their cage for

about 30 years! Okay.

Remix. What's a remix?

You know, the guy is

definitely obsessed...

Byrnes, Jack Byrnes

My father-in-law

My father-in-law

Byrnes, Jack Byrnes

Candidate for the drug

Obsessed with sex

Byrnes, Jack Byrnes

Not getting it up

Jack, Jack Byrnes

Talk about sexual frustration

Byrnes

Obsessed with b*obs

He can breast

feed his grandson

Jack Byrnes

Mannary gland

Couple of tugs off

the thing himself

Hey, Focker

I never did that.

Hey, Focker, I got nipples

Okay

Hey, Focker, I got nipples

Wow

Can you milk me?

Circle of trust

goes round and round

Jack

Circle of trust

goes round and round

Byrnes

Circle of trust

goes round and round

Jack

Hello!

Hot little number

he's got named Jinxy

Now, he's talking about you.

Hot little number

he's got named Jinxy

Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat

I love you

The Godfocker.

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