Little Giant Page #4

Mr. Miller? Oh, Mr. Miller? Oh!

Mr. Chandler will see you now. Thank you.

Excuse me?

Come in. Come in.

Mr. Chandler...

Morrison, Morrison!

What's the trouble? Mr. Morrison,

he's in the other office.

Who? Mr. Morrison. Ah...

- Wait a minute.

- Calm yourself.

Everybody makes

the same mistake.

Mr. Morrison is Mr.

Chandler's cousin. Cousins?

His mother and my mother

were sisters. Sisters?

They both had the same mother,

my grandmother.

Everybody in our family

looks like grandma.

Ah, sit down, sit down.

Thank you.

This is strictly between

you and me, man to man.

What do you think of my cousin? Well...

I mean, I-I-I... You don't

have to tell me. I'll tell you.

He's a dirty, slave-driving,

double-crossing skunk.

You mean...

E.L. Morrison?

Yes!

He's a crook.

I'll say he is, and I'll never

do business with him again.

I'll bet he took the shirt

right off your back.

And my pants too!

Sure, he would.

You know what he did to me? No.

He dreamed up that "no relative" rule

just to get me out of town.

Boy, is he repulsive.

I'll say.

Why, he put a quota on this

branch that nobody can fill.

Twenty-eight vacuum cleaners a week

and only seven salesmen.

Tsk-tsk. Mr. Chandler, 28 vacuums

a week. That's a lot to sell.

And you only have seven salesmen? That

means they gotta sell 13 vacuums apiece.

You're right. You... 13 vacuum

cleaners apiece? Yes, sir.

What are you talking about? Seven

times 13 is not 28. Yes, it is.

Seven times four is 28.

Mr. Chandler,

seven times 13 is 28.

Seven times four is 28!

Did you go to school, stupid?

Yes, sir. And I come out

the same way.

Come here a minute.

You claim that seven goes

into 2813 times? That's right.

Prove it!

Go ahead, prove it, prove it!

Go ahead, go ahead. All right.

There's the board. Well, go

ahead. I'm gonna prove it.

You've got seven salesmen.

There's the seven. Where is it?

There. Now you've got

28 vacuums a week to sell.

I'm gonna divide. You claim

that seven goes into 2813 times?

That's right. Seven into two.

Seven won't go into two.

Certainly not. So I gotta take

the two from there and put it here.

Put it down there. I'm gonna use it

after a while. That's a cute little two.

Seven into eight, once. I'm gonna carry

the seven and put it under the eight.

Seven from eight, one. A minute ago I didn't

use that little two. What are you gonna do?

I gotta use that two now. I'm gonna

take it from there and put it there.

Now, seven into 21...

Three times.

Seven into 28, 13. Oh, no,

no, no. Nothing of the kind.

What kind of figures are these?

It's gotta come out right.

We'll multiply this.

Go ahead.

Multiply it? Put down 13. That's right.

And seven salesmen. Put

that down. Seven salesmen.

You claim that seven times 13

amounts to what? Twenty-eight.

Seven times three? Seven

times one? 21. Seven.

Seven and one? And a two is 28. Eight.

Now wait a minute! How do you

figure, boy? I figure good.

No, you can't do that.

That's right.

Nothing of the kind.

We'll add this up.

Put down 13 seven times. Okay.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven.

You claim that all that added

up amounts to what? Twenty-eight.

If it does, you've got a job. Thank you.

Three, six... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18, 21.

Twenty-two, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28.

You're hired.

Oh, it's you, Martha! It's

from him.! It's from Benny.!

From Benny?

Oh my goodness, I'm excited.

Oh!

Oh, I haven't my specs.

Here, you read it, dear.

"Dear Mama, I'm fine and

hope you are the same.

"I am now working in

our branch in Stockton.

"Uncle Clarence knows the manager

here and wanted to do him a favor...

"by sending him a good salesman like

me. Wasn't that nice of Clarence?

"So far I haven't sold

any vacuum cleaners.

"You better send me my correspondence

school records so I can study.

"Maybe I missed something. He missed

a lot of sleep, that's what he missed.

"Tomorrow night

there's big doings.

The president is going to

give us a long talk by shortwave. "

Following our usual custom,

I shall award a special cash prize...

to the salesman who has demonstrated

the most outstanding example...

of service and salesmanship

during the year ending tomorrow night.

I wish you all success

and happiness...

and again I remind you

of our slogan:
"It's in the bag. "

I'm sure it was an inspiration to all of

us to have heard Mr. Van Loan's message.

To our branch offices I ask you to

extend your efforts to the utmost.

Ask yourself, did I do my

very best during the past year?

Did I use my best judgment? Don't

be afraid to be honest with yourself.

Even we in the home office

sometimes are fooled.

I will illustrate a point.

A few weeks ago,

a young man got into

my office seeking a job.

He had an honest face, even simple,

so we gave him thejob he asked for.

Ladies and gentlemen, not only

did he fail to make a single sale,

he involved us in a lawsuit,

and he lost his demonstrating machine.

So, to all managers, I say beware of

simple-looking little men...

with smiles on their faces

and sawdust in their brains.

Look around you. If you have anyone

like that on your payroll, discharge him.

Don't burden yourselves

with dead weight.

And in closing, may I repeat that I

expect every branch to meet its quota...

or suffer the consequences!

Good night and good luck

to you all.

Well, boys,

how do you like being spanked

on the pink network?

I'd like to show up

that egg, Morrison.

I realize that we're 12 cleaners behind in

our quota with only one day to sell them.

Tell you what I'll do. I'll double your

commission on every cleaner you sell.

Okay, okay, that's all.

Let's go home. Good night.

Thank you, Mr. Chandler. We'll make

our quota. I think we will. Good luck.

Miss Burke. Please. Yes, sir?

This guy Miller. Benny? Oh, he's nice.

How many cleaners has he sold

in the past two weeks?

I don't know exactly. I'd have

to look it up on the books.

I know. He hasn't sold any.

He hasn't even sold an attachment.

Make out his notice and give

it to him tonight. He's fired.

I'll tell you why he offered double

commissions. He's afraid of his job.

O'Brien, that dry wit

of yours kills me.

Ah, come on. Let's go down

toJoe's and get a couple of drinks.

Great, let's go. It's a

good idea. You comin' along?

He doesn't drink,

you dummy.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Benny?

Where'd the bunch go? They

went down toJoe's for a drink.

Why didn't you go along?

O'Brien says I don't drink.

Do you?

No.

Look, Benny, if you haven't

anything important on,

would you mind walking home

with me? I don't mind, I guess.

Thanks.

What's the trouble, Benny?

You're lower than a caterpillar

with fallen arches.

I'll be all right.

You want me to mail the letter

for you? Oh, there's no hurry.

You know, I've never seen you

like this before.

Has somebody hurt

your feelings?

No.

I'll be all right.

You remember the speech Mr. Morrison

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