Little Giant Page #5

made when he asked everybody...

to ask themselves if they

were doing their best? Yes.

I asked myself.

Do you know the answer I got?

Yes!

I was doing my best.

I learned that manual

word for word.

Still, I can't sell

any vacuums.

Well, maybe you're trying too hard. Maybe.

I'm the worst salesman

in Stockton.

Perhaps if you just relaxed a little

and then went to some other town.

Some other town?

Yes!

If a fellow can't "unlax" in

Stockton, where else can he "unlax"?

Oh, well, here's Joe's.

Here's Joe's.

Do you want to go in?

Yeah.

Come on.

Say, Mac?

Yeah?

Bring us another drink, will ya.

Coming up.

Hiya, cute and cuddly. Hiya,

wolves. I brought Benny along.

I come to unlax. Well, it's

about time. Come on. Sit down.

Thanks. What are you drinking?

A little scotch and water.

Come on, join us.

With you fellows?

Sure, pull your chair up. Thank you.

Baby, I got a hunch Gus is

about to buy you a drink. Swell.

You ready?

It's your turn.

One.

Joe!

I'm stuck again!

Hello, Miss Burke.

Hello, Joe, shake hands with Benny,

one of the boys from the office.

Sure.

Me too.

What'll it be? I guess I'll

take a short milk punch.

What's that? Milk with

a little whiskey in it.

I'll have a milk punch...

without the punch.

What kind of game was

you playing with the matches?

That's an old Egyptian

pastime called the "ibray. "

Yeah, it's, ah... sort

of a mind-reading game.

You try to guess what's in the other

guy's mind. That's almost impossible.

For most guys, but once in a while you

find a fellow that's... clairvoyant.

I got a hunch Benny could

do it. I don't think so.

Benny don't look very

psychic to me. You wanna bet?

I may be wrong. Pack of

cigarettes says Benny is the type.

Sure, quiet fellow like him

born and bred in the country,

all that fresh air and milk.

You got any cows on your farm?

Yes, I got a cow.

I gotta milk her twice a day.

Why? If I don't milk her, she moos.

What do you mean moo? Moooo!

That's what I mean. When Benny

hears the cow making that noise...

How does that go again? Moooo!

You see? Benny reads the cow's mind

and knows it's time to milk him.

Right?

Right.

I remain definitely unconvinced.

Okay, we'll prove it.

How? Put him in a trance? Oh, no.

We'll send Benny out of the room.

Then we'll pick some object on

the table that's in plain sight.

When Benny comes back, we'll concentrate

on the object and he'll guess.

I don't think I can do that.

Why, Benny, I'm betting you can.

You don't mind trying? I'll... I'll

try it. But I don't think I can do it.

That's very hard.

Okay, where do I go? Right

out there in the back room.

Oh yeah.

I'll give it a chance.

I'm just a little girl from a hick town,

but what's so funny about it?

The gag is, we don't pick out

any object. Nothing at all.

Whatever he points to... no matter

what... we tell him that's it.

I should stretch my girdle

laughing at that!

Wait 'til you see the expression on

his face. Believe me, it never misses.

Send him in, Joe.

Right.

Okay, Benny.

Everybody's gotta concentrate

or it isn't fair to Benny.

It's this.

That's right!

Holy smoke. Well,

I'm a son-of-a-gun.

Benny, how did you know

it was Ruby's glass?

W-W-Well, when Larry said

for everybody to concentrate,

I thought he was trying to throw me

off the track and get me mixed up.

- Did you, Larry?

- That's right, I was.

To settle the argument, do

it again, will ya? Oh sure.

This time he should be blindfolded

and cotton stuffed in his ears.

Sure, Benny doesn't mind.

Do ya, kid?

Oh, no. Putting cotton in my ears and

blindfolding me, that's got nothin' to do with it.

How do you do it?

Well...

I leave my mind go in a blank.

It's awfully hard to explain. Don't tell 'em.

It's a rare gift you should treasure in secret.

Come on, mastermind. Again?

Let's have a towel and

some cotton, Joe. Right.

Here you are.

How long does this go on?

When does he find out it's a rib?

Who tells him? You can tell him

if you wanna. You brought him here.

How do they generally take it when

you tell them? You'll find out.

Here we come.

Look out for the table,

Benny.

Look out for that chair.

Here we go. Here we are. Right there.

We're all concentrating,

Benny.

All right.

Is this it? Yes! No!

He did it again! I don't

know how he does it.

Give me the letter.

Sure. Are you satisfied?

Just try it once more. Okay.

Have a heart. Benny's tired. No, I'm not.

I am and if you don't mind,

I'd like to go home. Okay.

I don't know how to thank you for

showing me this wonderful power I have.

If there's anything I can do for

you, let me know. Thanks a lot.

If you could read my mind like I can

read yours, you'd know I mean every word.

Come on, Benny. Okay. Good night, fellas.

Good night, Benny. See you

tomorrow. Come on, Ruby.

We sure sold him. With all the attachments.

Benny.

Yeah?

Can I ask you something? Sure.

Would you feel terrible if you

found out you weren't really psychic?

How do you mean? After all,

it isn't very important, is it?

What good is it to you? That's

the key, the key to success.

How can I miss when I know what the other

guy is thinking as soon as he's thinking?

How do you know you can always do it? Look,

how did I know you wanted me to walk

you home tonight? Because I asked you to.

Oh... that's right.

I forgot.

This ain't brand-new.

I've been doing this a long time.

You have?

Oh yes.

Like the time I walked into the room and

saw my mama reading a letter and crying.

I knew something was wrong.

I said, "Aunt Beulah's dead. "

Was she?

She sure was.

I used to think I was a good

guesser, but now I know.

Benny, get your feet back on

the ground, will you please?

These mind-reading stunts,

they're all tricks, they're fakes.

No, it's not. It runs in the

family. Take Mama, for instance.

Months and months

before I was born,

Mama told Papa she was going

to have a baby, and she did.

Honest!

Here it is.

Benny, there's something I have

to tell you and I don't know how.

It's the reason I asked you

to walk home with me. Yeah.

It happened so suddenly,

there was really nothing I could do.

You don't have to tell me. Oh, but I do.

I've already read

your mind.

Ruby, there's something

I wanna tell you.

I want you to know that

I like you an awful lot.

But I'm already engaged

to marry someone else.

Gee, I wish I'd have told you

a long time ago...

before you got

so infatuated with me.

That's life.

I'm sorry.

You poor kid.

Jim? Jim?

For heaven's sake please don't forget

to stop at the vacuum repairman's.

Cleaning the house with a broom

really gets me down. All right.

Good-bye, dear.

Good morning!

Say, it looks like I've come to

the right place at the right time.

You gonna repair

my wife's vacuum cleaner?

I'm gonna sell your wife

a brand-new one.

Get a load of that machine.

Trouble-free, long-wearing Hercules.

Did you ever see anything

neater or sweeter? How much?

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