Little Giants Page #2

they can discover radium...

...but they can't play peewee football.

- Correct.

- Oh, Kevin.

All right. Maybe I went a little too far.

Maybe I've been a little...

- Pigheaded? Chauvinistic, maybe.

- All right. You proved your point.

I think Becky should be

involved with the team.

- Really?

- Yeah, or any girl.

Debbie, get your friends.

I need girls with spirit.

- I need pom-poms. I need cheerleaders!

- Yes!

I hate not being picked.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we go put some

mud tires on the go-cart?

- I don't want to.

- All right. Forget the tires.

How about if we go camping

in the woods, huh? Make moose sounds?

Forget the moose sounds.

Listen, Beck...

...remember when Mom said that she was

gonna have to do what was best for her?

Well, when she chose to leave us

she was kind of making a choice for us too.

I mean, in a way, it gave us a chance

to get real close, you and me. Right?

When Uncle Kevin didn't pick you

it was the same thing...

...because, in a way, he freed

you up for something else.

Or to do something different

where you could do the picking.

Dad...

...I just wanna play football.

Hey, sweetie, if I had a football team,

I'd pick you.

We never get picked for anything.

- Life stinks.

- Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros.

I'm gonna have to be a senator.

Here's a kiss for Murphy

and one for Patterson and Briggs.

Zol-fart, what kind of road kill

did your mom feed you last night?

- Free-range skunk.

- This is a private establishment, gentlemen.

Yeah, scram.

- Please?

- I'm hurt. I'm really hurt.

Yeah, we just came by to tell you guys

how incredibly sorry we are...

...that you didn't make the team.

Not!

The Icebox!

- Let's get out of here.

- Go!

Sure. Big shot on the go-cart.

I'd give anything

to get you on the field.

- Don't worry, Murph. You'll get your chance.

- Yeah, sure.

You and your spaz patrol

didn't make the team.

Well, I got a little news flash for you.

We started our own team,

and we're gonna kick your Cowboy butts.

If you got a team, who's your coach?

My dad.

Your dad?

There are few times in a man's life

when he can howl at the moon.

When he gets married, when he scores

the winning touchdown in a game...

...and when he buys his first Chevy.

Congratulations.

- Thanks, Mr. O'Shea.

- Butz.

- I'm going to lunch. You wanna surprise me?

- Yeah.

- Sell a car.

- Okay. Sure.

We're down by six points.

It's third and goal, two seconds left.

I've been hit so many times I can't see.

I'm busted up. I'm bleeding.

I'm so bruised I look like a code blue.

- Two seconds? Thought it was four.

- Swore it was three.

Believe me. It was two seconds.

Now the crowd in the stadium is going nuts.

- All eyes are on me. I know...

- Howdy, gents.

Already voted, mayor.

O'Shea, I got my tail in a trap.

We gotta talk.

Excuse me, boys. A little peewee business.

Four seconds.

To hell with the time,

you don't know what year it is.

No.

I'm feeling kind of foolish, son.

Maybe it's the tie.

Never mind the tie.

Now, we got a turd in the punch bowl.

What?

I got Urbania in the Pop Warner

league by telling everybody...

...that the great Kevin O'Shea

was gonna be coaching.

- Yeah?

- I just got a phone call.

It seems there's two teams in this town.

Who's coaching the other one?

Hey, fellas. Good morning, Louise.

How you doing, champ?

- Dad.

- Hi.

I gotta tell you something.

Me and the guys, we're forming

our own football team. Love you a lot.

You trying to make me

look like an idiot?

Where do you come off

trying to put together a team?

I mean, what makes you think

that you could coach football?

- I just heard about this...

- I don't want to hear it.

No, Danny. You can't coach football.

Hell, you couldn't even play.

- Whose fault was that?

- It wasn't my fault.

Who said life was fair?

Some of us run for touchdowns...

...some of us run the projector.

- I ran the class projector.

- I'm sure you were a great projectionist.

Danny, listen, guys like you

and kids like that...

They can't help that they're no good,

but they learn things.

I mean they invent things.

They win Nobel Prizes.

Einstein. Could he catch?

Did anybody care? No.

Danny, listen to me. Listen to me.

These things that you do

with the kids, they're great.

I think they're admirable.

You want to start a chess club,

a little nature walk class? This is fine.

So let me get this straight.

It's okay with you if I do something

with the kids?

Sure.

- But not football.

- Exactly.

I knew you'd see it my way.

- No, I don't.

- Pardon me?

I don't see it your way.

I've really never seen it your way.

I hate your way.

- Now what's gotten into you?

- I'll tell you.

You've gotten into me,

and I'm sick of it.

- We're forming our own team.

- League rules state: One town. One team.

- You can't have two.

- Have a playoff.

That's a great idea, Wilbur.

How about it, fellas?

How about it?

Two Saturdays from today,

meet me at half-court.

It's the 50-yard line, Dad.

Danny...

...you don't stand a chance.

We just want to play.

Yeah!

Where are we gonna find

anybody for the team?

Someone who's good,

not at basketball, but like...

Are you guys kidding me?

Nothing but glass.

You want to play football?

Mr. O'Shea, I have an aversion

to pain and suffering.

Nubie, I'm not talking

about setting foot on the field.

I need somebody to help me coach,

you know, to come up with some plays.

What kind of plays?

Creative plays.

Anything goes?

Use your imagination.

I'm in.

- You ever played football?

- No.

- Do you like football?

- No.

- You want to play football?

- No.

Great. You can be on our team.

Yes, that's right, flight 45.

- Dad.

- I'll see you Tuesday, son.

Yeah, the flight

gets in at 9:
00. Don't worry.

What about him?

Hey.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Look at this.

There's more stuff over here.

Give me a hand.

Careful with this.

Some of these are antiques.

Timmy, I'm not sure,

but I don't think that goes there.

Guys, a lot of this

equipment has been used before.

It's a mom!

Excuse me, coach? Hi, Mr. O'Shea.

I'm Cheryl Berman.

I'm sorry Jake's late,

but I took him to see Dr. Harding.

He sneezed three times this morning

and had me worried.

You can't be too cautious.

We never thought we'd have children,

not after 13 years. It was me.

When I got pregnant

the doctor ordered me to bed.

I spent nine miserable months

on my back.

If I'd rolled over, I could've lost him.

And the birth, God only knows the pain.

He weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces.

He spent six weeks in an incubator.

And I think football

is just the medicine for him.

My shrink told her

I gotta get out more.

- I think he's gonna be fine.

- Oh, okay.

Cool.

Thanks. I needed that.

Let's kick some butt.

- I don't know but I've been told

- Butz's butt is green with mold

- You say thank you, I say please

- Kevin sits down when he pees

Looking good. Real good.

All right. Let's stretch it out. Come on.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes