Little Man

---

One, two, three...

three, three.

Yo, what comes after three?

Four. Four comes after three.

- I don't hear you counting.

- Four.

Four.

- Five.

- Five.

- Six.

- Six. Faster.

- Seven, eight.

- Sims. Sims!

You're going home.

I'll see you around,

sweet mouth.

Inmate on deck.

- He'll be back.

- What's up, baby?

See you around, big man.

Gate open.

Where the hell is this guy?

Cal. Cal.

- What an idiot.

- Let me pop this door for my man.

My main man, just getting

home from prison.

- Percy.

- I'm sorry, Cal.

You stupid?

All right, wait. Hold up. So

they want us to steal a diamond?

- How much your man Walken paying?

- Dig this. A hundred G's.

A hundred G's?

- That's good loot.

- Enough to get my label started.

Let me give you a taste

of my first single.

- It's fire.

- Yeah.

Never been shot before...

but I've been beat about the skull

and the neck area with a crowbar.

Check the lyrics,

check the lyrics.

I'll take you to

the butcher shop.

Let you lick a big pork chop.

Girl, I know you like ham hocks.

If you're Jewish, I

even got lox Hey! Hey!

Yo, camel-mouth.

- That's 50 Cent.

- Cal, that's not 50 Cent.

He talk about candy.

I'm talking about meat.

That's a whole other level.

P-Unit.

You better off stuffing

your money in a mattress.

Yeah. I bet you gonna

mess your money up...

on booze and cheap hookers.

- So?

- What you need to do...

is iust find you a nice

girl and settle down, Cal.

Come on, P, you know

that ain't happening.

I mean, you being

all short and all.

Let me tell you

something about love.

I never had it. I don't want it.

I don't need it. All right?

You ain't gotta keep hitting me, Calvin.

I'm not your child.

How am I gonna be a hard-core rapper

if you keep putting your hands on me?

Don't push me Because

I'm close to the edge.

Check this out. You hang in the

back until Vanessa gets here.

When I give a signal,

you come out.

That's cool. I got you.

Hey, Jimmy, please, man. This

is the biggest day of my life.

- It's gotta go off right, okay?

- Baby, what'd I tell you? I got you.

And can I say something?

- Congratulations, man.

- Thank you.

You done stepped up to the plate.

Give me a hug, homeboy.

Oh, man, you done

did it, you know.

Hey, man, you ain't

had to do this.

You know, the valet tripping.

- Made me park around the corner.

- Jimmy, get-Beat it.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- Get on it.

- Hi.

- Hey, beautiful.

So I'm so glad that you got

out of work to be here.

You think I wouldn't take off work?

And miss this? Are you crazy?

Look at you, beautiful.

- You are glowing. My God.

- Thank you.

It feels like it was

iust yesterday...

sitting in this same restaurant,

when I asked you to marry me.

I'm still working on that diamond.

I didn't forget the diamond.

I know, baby. You are the sweetest,

most supportive man on the planet.

Can I talk now?

- I'm sorry. Go ahead.

- Okay.

So you know what I've been

waiting all week to find out.

Yes. Yep.

- Well, I got the news...

- Yeah.

- ...and I'm-

- Pregnant. Yes! Yes!

- Having my baby.

- Oh, no.

- Is so important to me.

- No. No, no.

- Darryl. Darryl.

- Baby.

- There's nothing more special.

- Darryl-No, honey, I'm not pregnant.

- I'm not pregnant.

- Than to raise a family.

- Excuse me, sir. Sir. Sir.

- I thought that you-

- Hey.

- And-

- Sir.

- Jimmy.

- And-

- Sir!

No. Stop. No.

I'm not pregnant.

- No?

- No.

You're not pregnant?

Baby, but you was nauseous and

throwing up all over the place.

Well, I was very nervous.

Baby, what are we doing here?

Darryl...

I got the promotion.

And we're movin' on

up To the east side

Jimmy.

They'll be movin' on up To

that apartment in the sky.

- I'm gonna hurt him.

- Hey. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, stop.

- Man-Man, you ain't got to do this.

- Hey...

- Okay, then. All right.

- Beat it.

Congratulations. I'm

really proud of you.

But?

But I thought we was

gonna start a family.

We will, baby.

You know, with this promotion,

everything's on track now.

In a couple of years I'll be senior V.P.,

and I can take time off to have a child.

A couple of years? I

don't wanna wait years.

Darryl, you know, having a

baby changes everything.

Hey, I'm willing to

do whatever it takes.

So no more late-night

poker with the guys.

Cool.

No more...

afternoon quickies.

Stop right there. We haven't

had a afternoon quickie...

since your father moved in.

That is not fair. My dad is getting old.

Sometimes he forgets things.

I don't feel comfortable

with him living by himself.

What about Whispering Glen?

That place looked like a country

club inside the brochure.

They got Viagra

vending machines.

You listen to me.

Until he is a danger to himself

or others, he is staying with us.

Now...

can we celebrate?

Celebration, come on We

gonna celebrate tonight.

Come on, come on, let's celebrate

Let's not have a fight.

And I'm not talking tonight.

Remix! Now just you ladies.

Celebrate, celebrate

Celebrate, celebrate.

Hey, oblivious.

What are you doing?

Getting ready to rob a

iewelry store, Calvin.

I'm going straight Jesse James.

Percy, put the gun away. Guns is

how you wind up back in prison.

I'm telling you, I ain't going back to jail.

You understand?

Now put the gun away.

Why you gotta keep

hitting me, Cal?

Sometimes I gotta slap some

sense into you, Percy.

Come on. Give me a hand.

Now, would you

trust the big man?

I got a plan, yo.

Now, this stone is a

- VVS2, nearly flawless.

- It's been a pleasure, sir.

Just be cool, Cal.

I'm telling you.

Oh, there she go. There's-

Go ahead. Do your thing, Cal.

Pardon me for iust a moment.

- Do your thing.

- Yes? May I help you?

Percy. CEO and A&R

of P-Unit Records.

Here to pick up iewelry

for one of my artists.

Well, holler at your girl.

Step this way, Percy P.

I like the way you

said my name just now.

Can I sit down?

She's sitting down.

Of course you may. Would you

like some gin and juice?

Well, I'm gonna show you some

shiznit right about now.

Yes. Come to daddy.

Now that's what I'm

talking about, baby.

So, what can I get for

you today, Percy P.?

All of the above.

I'll send one of my assistants

from P-Unit Records...

to pick everything up.

Just tell him to pull up to my bumper,

and I'll throw that junk in his trunk.

Word?

Let me get up out of here.

I gotta bounce.

I got some people meeting me

down there, and I gotta...

So I'm gonna leave, you know?

- Okay? See you later, all right? Peace.

- Peace.

Be cool. What's

going on in there?

Has anyone seen my dog?

Hi, puppy.

He stole my dog.

Holy crap.

The Queen's diamond. It's gone.

Relax. We almost there, man.

We about to be paid, man.

I need the police. Yes,

there's been a robbery.

We did it. Modern-day Butch

Cassidy and Sundance.

Come back here with my dog.

- Get out of here, mutt.

- You just tossed a Chihuahua.

- Come on, let's get out of here.

- Gotcha that. We are gone.

Come on, Percy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes