Little Miss Sunshine Page #3

This is the voice

of experience talking.

Are you listening?

F*** a lot of women, Dwayne.

- Hey! Dad!

- Not just one woman. A lot of women.

- That's enough, all right?

- Are you gettin' any?

- Dad!

- You can tell me, Dwayne. Are you gettin' any?

- Come on, please.

- No? Jesus. You're what, 15?

- My God, man!

- Dad!

You should be gettin'that young stuff.

That young stuff is the best in the world.

- Dad, that's enough! Stop it!

- Will you kindly not interrupt!

See, right now you're jailbait.

They're jailbait. It's perfect.

I mean, you hit 18- Man, you're

talking about three to five.

Hey, I will pull

this truck over right now!

So pull the truck over!

F*** you! I can say what I want.

- I still got Nazi bullets in my ass!

- Ah, the Nazi bullets!

- You're as bad as those f***ers at Sunset Manor.

- [ Horn Toots ]

- What happened at Sunset Manor?

- Frank, don't encourage him.

I'll tell you what happened.

I paid my money. They took my money.

I should be able to do

what the f*** I want!

- He started snorting heroin.

- You started snorting heroin?

- I'm old!

- Well, that stuff'll kill you.

What am I, an idiot?

And don't you start taking that sh*t.

When you're young,

you're crazy to do that stuff.

- What about you?

- I'm old. When you're old,

you're crazy not to do it.

We've tried. Believe me. The intervention

was a fiasco. He's worse than a two-year-old.

Can we please talk

about something else?

- [ Frank ] I take it you didn't

like it at Sunset Manor.

- Frank.

Are you kidding me?

It was a f***in' paradise.

They got a pool.

They got golf.

Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here,

sleepin' on a f***in' sofa.

Look, I know you're a homo and all,

but maybe you can appreciate this.

You go to one of those places,

there's four women for every guy.

- Can you imagine what that's like?

- You must've been very busy.

Whoa! I had second-degree burns

on my johnson. I kid you not.

- Really?

- Forget about it.

What are you guys

talking about?

Politics.

Oh.

F*** a lot of women, kid.

I have no reason to lie to you.

Not one woman.

A lot of women.

You heard what I said?

Did it go in anywhere?

[ Richard ] Yeah, I think

we get the point, Dad.

[ Grandpa ] Don't show me the pad.

I don't want to see the f***in' pad.

Mom, how much can we spend?

I would say four dollars.

Anything under four dollars.

Hi. You ready?

Yeah, I'm gonna have the,

uh, number five with coffee, please.

All right.

A number seven, over easy,

and a grapefruit juice.

- Grapefruit. Okay.

- I would like a fruit plate.

- And do you have chamomile?

- Yes.

- With honey, please.

- [ Frank ] I would like

the lumberjack and coffee.

- And extra bacon.

- Extra.

- Now, Dad, you should probably-

- Richard, don't start.

- He's gonna kill himself.

- Well, it's his life.

- Thank you, Sheryl.

- [ Waitress ] Garden salad?

And you.

- L- I'm sorry. I, um- Sorry.

- Take your time.

Don't apologize, Olive.

It's a sign of weakness.

Um, well, I want- Okay, okay.

I know what I want. I know.

Okay, can I get

the waffles and, uh-

I don't-

What does "alamodey" mean?

- Oh, that means it comes with ice cream.

- Okay, "alamodey" then.

- [ Sheryl ] Olive, for breakfast?

- You said four dollars.

Okay. You're right.

Thank you.

Okay. Be right back.

Actually, Olive,

"a la mode"in French...

translates literally

as "in the fashion."

A la mode.

"Mode"is derived from Latin modus,

meaning "due or proper measure."

- Frank, shut up.

- [ Sheryl ] Richard!

Olive, can I tell you a little

something about ice cream?

- Yeah.

- Well, ice cream is made from cream...

which comes from cow's milk...

and cream has a lot of fat in it.

- Richard.

- What?

- She's gonna find out anyway, remember?

- What? Find out what?

Well, when you eat ice cream, the fat

in the ice cream becomes fat in your body.

- [ Sheryl ] Richard, I swear to God-

- It's true.

- What? What's wrong?

- Nothing, honey. Nothing's wrong.

So if you eat a lot of ice cream,

you might become fat.

And if you don't, you're gonna

stay nice and skinny, sweetie.

- Mom-

- Olive, Richard is an idiot.

I like a woman

with meat on her bones.

[ Olive ]

I don't- Why's everyone so upset?

No, no one's upset, honey. L-

I just want you to understand...

it's okay to be skinny, and it's okay

to be fat, if that's what you want to be.

Whatever you want, it's okay.

Okay, but, Olive,

let me ask you this.

Those women in Miss America-

Are they skinny,

or are they fat?

Honey?

Well, they're skinny, I guess.

Yeah. I guess they don't

eat a lot of ice cream.

Okay. Coffee. Coffee.

- Grapefruit.

- Thank you.

Chamomile.

And here's your ice cream.

"Alamodey," right? I'll be back

with your waffles in a second.

Does anyone want my ice cream?

Yeah, I'd like a little.

Dwayne? Frank?

- Olive's not gonna have her ice cream.

- Do you mind if I have a little?

- Yeah, let's dig in.

- That looks really good.

[ Grandpa ]

Boy, I feel sorry for anybody...

that doesn't want to enjoy their ice cream

so early in the morning.

- Boy, that looks good.

- You sure you don't wanna have some, Olive?

Those waffles are gonna be

awful lonely in there.

- Mmm! Mmm!

- Watch this.

Wait! Stop!

Don't eat it all.

- All right, Olive-

- Richard!

- Hey, Stan!

- [ Truck Horn Honks ]

Stan, it's Richard. Again.

Listen, I know you're busy...

but we're just dying to hear what sort

of numbers you came up with in Scottsdale.

- So, uh, give me a call, please.

- Hey, did you get him?

- No, I can't get a signal out of this thing.

- [ Groans ]

How long till we get there?

- A long time, honey.

- I know. But how long?

Well, we gotta do 600 miles of driving

today and 200 tomorrow.

- That's a lot of driving. Let's go.

- I'll drive for a while.

- No, no. I got it.

- No. I gotta learn how to do this.

You're doing it.

How hard can it be?

[ Gears Grinding ]

- Push the stick down hard.

- I'm pushing hard.

- [ Grinding Continues ]

- Okay. Okay, there you go.

Now push the clutch in

all the way to the floor.

It's on the floor.

The floor.

- [ Grunting ]

- [ Grinding Continues ]

[ Muttering ]

Sticking on there.

- Push down hard.

- [ Grunting ]

[ Man ]

Well, you've got a problem.

Your clutch is, uh, shot.

Can we get a new one?

These old buses, you-

you have to order the part.

How long does it take?

Well, it's the weekend...

so... maybe... Thursday.

- [ Panting ]

- [ Dog Barking ]

[ Groans ]

Is there a, uh,

dealership around here?

Well, uh, they're

probably gonna be closed.

It's, uh-

It's the weekend, you know.

Yes, we're aware of that.

I'll tell you what.

You know these- these old buses?

You don't need the clutch to change from-

from the third to the fourth.

You only really need the clutch to go

from number one to number two.

But as long as you keep

parking on a hill...

and you let it go, and it goes

15, 20 miles per hour...

you start her in third,

and you go from third to fourth.

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