Little Miss Sunshine Page #4
What if you're not
on a hill? There's no hill.
What if there's no hill?
What do you-
Yeah, it's-
Olive, Dad, I want you
in the car first.
- I know. We know.
- All right, here we go!
Everybody push!
All right.
Here we go! Push! Push!
- [ Grunting ]
- Ok- Ok- Okay!
I just want everyone here to know...
that I am the preeminent
Proust scholar in the United States.
- Here we go!
- [ Engine Starts ]
- [ Sheryl ] Go on, honey.
- I'm putting it in gear!
- Go, honey!
- [ Richard ] Come on!
Come on, Olive!
Run! Run! Come on!
- Come on!
- Sheryl, let's go!
- [ Screaming ]
- Sheryl!
- Frank, let's go!
- I'm coming.
- [ Sheryl ] You're losing them. Slow down!
- I can't slow down!
- Come on! Come on! Come on, you dumb bastard!
- I can't. I can't slow down.
- I can't slow down!
- Let's go!
[ Sheryl ]
Help him. Come on!
Come on. Come on. Get in.
- [ Frank ] No one gets left behind.
- No one gets left behind!
Outstanding, soldier!
Outstanding!
[ Laughs ]
Outstanding.
- Was that fun?
- Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
[ Richard ]
So finally I'm just sitting there...
and I decide, you know,
"This is Stan Grossman. What the hell?"
the nine steps.
And about- I don't know-
two minutes in, he stops me, he says...
"I can sell this."
[ Frank ]
Mm-hmm. Interesting.
Yeah, and this is the guy
who knows how to do it.
You start with a book, and then you do a media
tour, corporate events, DVD, VHS series.
I mean, there's a whole fascinating science
into how you roll these things out.
- Wow.
- Yeah, so he's in Scottsdale
right now, you know...
building the buzz and kind of getting
He's doing what the pros call
a ticking clock auction.
Oh, how about that!
Yeah, and I can detect
that note of sarcasm there, Frank.
What sarcasm? I didn't-
I didn't hear it.
But I want you
to know something.
I feel sorry for you.
You do? Good.
Yeah, I do. Because sarcasm
is the refuge oflosers.
- It is? Really?
- Yep.
Sarcasm is losers trying to bring
winners down to their level...
and that's step four in the program.
Wow, Richard, you've really opened
my eyes to what a loser I am.
- How much do I owe you
- That one's on the house.
- Okay, you guys, that's enough.
- It's on the house.
- That was for free?
- No charge. No charge.
- Stop it!
- He started it.
- [ Cell Phone Rings ]
- That's- Oh, wait a second.
- [ Sheryl ] You are so bad.
- Quiet. This is it. This is that call.
He-Hello?
Stan?
Stan?
[ Chattering In Spanish ]
Stan Grossman?
Richard Hoover.
[ Laughs ]
Finally. How're ya doin'?
No, I know. We were, uh, on the highway,
and I lost you on my cell.
Forget about it.
How'd we do?
Honey, I'm gonna use the ladies' room.
You need to go?
No. I'm gonna go practice
my routine over there.
Okay, well, don't go too far.
[ Richard ] Well, I think that wejust
gotta talk to him a little.
No, you gotta talk to him.
No, Stan, listen to me.
Hold on now.
I am going to get something to drink.
You want anything?
- Stay positive and-[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- Yeah, get me some porn.
[ Chuckles ]
Okay.
Get me something really nasty too.
I don't want any of that airbrushed sh*t.
- Okay.
- Okay, here's a 20.
Get yourself a little treat too.
- Get yourself a fag rag.
- [ Laughs ] All right. I will.
- Uh, that one. Yes. And that one.
- [ Bell Chimes ]
And I would like
that one- No, down.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I would like that one.
And, uh, I will have a-
a blue raspberry Slushee.
Frank?
Oh, my God! How are you?
- Uh-
in Santa Fe for the conference.
- I was looking for you.
- [ Bell Chimes ]
- Aren't you supposed to be in New Haven?
- Yeah.
- Well, you heard about Larry and
the whole genius thing, right?
- Yeah.
- It's official.
- Oh, good.
So we're going to this private
spa in Sedona for the week-
- Larry's here?
- Yeah.
- He's out filling the tank. He's, uh-
- Oh. Yeah, there he is.
Wow. I can't believe this.
How have you been?
I've been fine.
Good. Good.
You know, I heard
that you got fired.
Yeah. No, I quit, 'cause
enough is enough, you know?
Right. Good. Good.
[ Chuckles ]
So what are you up to now?
Um, I'm weighing my options...
and, um, just, you know,
taking some time off, and so-
Great. That's great.
$ 19.79, sir.
So-
- Well, it was great to see you.
- Yeah, you too.
- Take care of yourself.
- You too.
Bye.
[ Clerk ] Hey.
- You forgot your Slushee.
- [ Horn Honks ]
[ Continues ]
You're in Scottsdale right now, right?
Okay, I can come by.
I'm gonna be coming through there.
I could swing right by. We could-
Christ.
He's not getting it.
[ Richard ]
Did you try that?
Listen to what
I'm saying, Stan! I'll-I'll-
[ Bell Chimes ]
So what happened?
Nothing.
Let's get out of here.
Wait a minute. I thought
you said this was a done deal.
- He said it was a done deal.
- What, you didn't get anything?
Oh, my God!
Where does that leave us?
F***ed.
- I can't believe I'm hearing-
Did you even try negotiating?
- Yes! Of course I tried!
What do you think l-
Let's just go, okay?
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on.
Let's go!
"Where's Olive?"
Oh!
- [ Horn Honks ]
- All right, Frank.
- Come on, Olive.
- Come on, Olive.
Come on, sweetie, jump.
Jump in the car.
- We can't stop. Jump.
- I got her! I got her!
Richard.
Yeah.
Whatever happens, you tried
to do something on your own...
which is more than
most people ever do...
and I include myself
in that category.
You took a big chance.
That took guts, and I'm proud of you.
Okay, Dad.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dad.
Okay, here is 11.
Frank, you're 12.
And Grandpa's 13.
Can I sleep with Grandpa tonight?
Well, you'll have to ask Grandpa.
- Grandpa?
- I got two beds.
You could still use some rehearsing.
[ Olive ]
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
[ Richard ] All right, everybody,
we have a long day tomorrow.
I'll knock on your doors at 7:00 a.m.
That means no lollygagging.
We need to be packed
and on the road by 7:40, guys.
- [ Sheryl ] Frank, you guys'll be okay?
- [ Frank ] Yeah, we're fine.
- Okay, well, good night.
- Good night.
- Sleep tight.
- Okay.
What a f***ing nightmare.
[ Door Closes ]
Richard, we-
we have to talk.
Please.
Sheryl, let's just
get through this and go home.
[ Sheryl ]
No, Richard, we have to talk now!
[ Richard ] I tried to tell you
we couldn't afford this trip!
- Do you realize we're becoming bankrupt?
- We are not bankrupt!
- Hey, don't listen to that.
Let's turn on the tube.
to preserve the traditions-
Secretary Rumsfeld and I
thought long and hard...
about this important choice.
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"Little Miss Sunshine" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/little_miss_sunshine_12676>.
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