Little Miss Sunshine Page #5

To me-

[ Sheryl ] You said this was a lock!

You said it was a done deal!

[ Richard ]

Stan Grossman said it was a done deal!

[ Sheryl ]

I'm not married to Stan Grossman!

[ Richard ] I trusted him! You gotta trust

to be trusted! That's step six!

[ Sheryl ]

Oh, f*** the nine steps, Richard!

They're not working!

Forget it! It's over!

I never want to hear

about the nine steps again!

- [ Growling ]

- [ Growling ]

- [ Snarling ]

- [ Snarling ]

- [ Growls ]

- [ Growls ]

Perfect. Perfect. You're

the world champion growler.

Time for your beauty rest.

Get in there.

There you go.

Good night.

- Grandpa?

- Yeah.

I'm kinda scared about tomorrow.

Are you kiddin' me?

You're gonna blow 'em out of the water.

They're not gonna know

what hit 'em.

- Grandpa?

- Yeah.

Am I pretty?

Olive, you are...

the most beautiful girl

in the whole world.

Nah, you're just saying that.

No, I'm not. I'm madly

in love with you.

And it's not because of your brains

or your personality.

It's because you're

beautiful, inside and out.

- Grandpa?

- What?

- I don't want to be a loser.

- You're not a loser.

Where'd you get the idea

you're a loser?

[ Crying ]

Because Daddy hates losers.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back up a minute.

You know what a loser is?

A real loser is somebody that's so afraid

of not winning, they don't even try.

- Now, you're trying, right?

- Yeah.

Well, then, you're not a loser.

We're gonna have fun tomorrow, right?

Yeah.

[ Sniffles ]

We can tell 'em all to go to hell.

Good night, sweetie.

I love you.

[ Sighs ]

What are you doing?

I'm gonna fix this.

Richard-

I'm gonna fix this.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Here we go.

Here we go.

- [ Engine Starts ]

- [ Tires Screech ]

[ Horn Beeps ]

[ Chattering ]

Hi.

[ Chattering ]

Hi. Stan Grossman, please.

Stan, it's Richard.

I don't know where the f*** you are.

I'm at the hotel.

Call me.

[ Phone Beeping ]

[ Line Ringing ]

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]

But it's funny.

So I said, "You want me to teach you

about life experiences?

You can write a book

about my experiences."

- So he says to me-

- [ Line Ringing ]

Hello, Stan.

You're the one

that said it would sell!

That's what I thought at the time.

But it's a great program.

You said so yourself. I don't understand.

It's not the program, Richard.

It's you. Okay?

No one's heard of you.

Nobody cares.

What's the next step?

There is none.

We had our shot.

It didn't fly.

We move on.

- You-You mean give up?

- Richard.

Hey, wh-Whoa, hey! One setback here,

and you're ready to just quit?

Richard, listen.

I pushed this thing hard, okay?

I rammed it down their f***ing throats,

and no one bought it!

It's time to move on.

You're not gonna win this one.

Okay. Okay.

You know what?

Good. I'm glad.

You know why?

Because this is what

the nine steps are all about.

- Right here, Stan. Right here!

- Richard.

- Richard, please.

- You blew it!

You blew it.

You're out.

[ Horn Honking ]

[ Olive ]

Mom? Dad?

[ Sighs ]

What is it, hon?

Grandpa won't wake up.

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Chattering On P.A.]

Want to take an eye test?

Uncle Frank?

An eye test?

Olive, come here.

Put those away.

We're gonna have a family meeting.

Dwayne, family meeting.

[ P.A. Chattering Continues ]

First of all...

the doctors are doing everything they can

to help Grandpa right now.

He's had a long, eventful life...

and I know he loves

both of you very much.

But if God wants to take him,

we have to be ready to accept that, okay?

Whatever happens,

we're a family.

And what's important

is that we love each other.

I love you guys so, so much.

[ Sheryl Sobbing ]

[ Chattering On TV]

[ Man On TV] Look at this.

This is a 15-pound turkey.

It does it in three hours' time.

[ Infomercial Continues, Indistinct ]

Are you the family of Edwin Hoover?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

We did everything we could.

He was, uh-

Well, it was too much.

He probably just fell asleep

and never woke up.

I'll have someone come talk to you

about handling the remains.

Thank you.

[ Infomercial Continues, Indistinct ]

Linda!

[ Chattering On P.A.]

Mom?

Is Grandpa dead?

Yeah, honey.

He passed away.

[ Both Sobbing ]

[ Man On TV] That's what this

machine does. Chicken, fish or beef.

So you always look forward

to eating the food.

And that, I believe-

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

Put it in the machine.

Center it. Turn it around.

Hi. I'm your

bereavement liaison, Linda.

- My consolations for your loss.

- Thank you.

Okay, these are the forms

you need to fill out.

A death certificate.

A report of death.

An M.E. Pink slip.

Please try and be

as detailed as possible.

Um, this is a brochure...

for a grief recovery support

group that meets on Tuesdays.

And, if you like, at this time,

I can refer you to a funeral home...

so you can begin making

your own arrangements.

Actually, prearrangements

have already been made in Albuquerque.

- Albuquerque?

- We're actually on our way

to California right now.

If the body is crossing state lines,

you're gonna need a burial transit permit.

Okay, but we're trying

to get to Redondo Beach by 3:00.

Ain't gonna happen.

Okay, um, can I just-

I know that this is, uh-

this might be a little unusual...

but if maybe we could just go.

And then we'll come back, and we'll

take care of all the paperwork and-

No. You can't just abandon the body.

No, no, no. Nobody's gonna abandon

the body. We're gonna go and-

Otherwise, the hospital

becomes responsible.

Sir, there are ways

we have of doing things.

We're gonna go and come back.

You are not the only one that's

had somebody die here today, okay?

Is there any way we might

be able to view the remains?

We haven't had a chance

to move him downstairs...

so someone may come in in a few minutes

to take him to the basement.

Just tell them who you are,

and they will wait.

- Thank you.

- Okay?

And when you're done with the paperwork,

I'll be at the nurses' station.

- Great. Thank you, Linda.

- Thank you.

[ P.A. Beeps ]

[ Chattering On P.A.]

[ Chattering On P.A.]

Goddamn it, Dad.

Goddamn it!

Stupid.

We'll go to Little Miss Sunshine

next year, okay, honey?

Next year.

[ Sheryl Sobbing ]

No. No.

We've come 700 miles.

I will be damned if I'm not

making that contest, Sheryl.

Well, Richard,

we can't leave him here.

We're not gonna leave him.

- Richard, what are you doing?

- F***.

- Dwayne, go around outside.

- Richard, what are you thinking?

- We're gonna take him with us.

- No, no. That is not happening.

He's better off with us

that these people.

I want you to go around outside

and underneath this window.

Dwayne, don't you dare move.

Honey, you stay here.

We'll take Olive. Frank can drive.

No, Sheryl, we'll be there in two hours.

I'll call a funeral home once we get there.

If there's one thing

my father would have wanted...

it's to see Olive perform

in the Little Miss Sunshine Pageant.

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