Little Murders Page #3

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They, uh...

They hit me... hit...

and they, uh, see

I'm not gonna fall down.

They get tired, and they go away.

It's hardly worth talking about.

So much tension.

Rush, rush, rush.

My mother taught me

to take dainty, little steps.

She'd kill me if she could

see the stride on Patsy.

Well, um, uh, tell me something.

Well, um, uh, tell me something.

Don't you defend yourself?

Well, I ask them

not to hit my cameras.

They're very good about that.

It's surprising.

Well, uh, why don't you fight back?

- I don't want to.

- Jesus Christ. You're not a pacifist.

- Daddy.

- An "apathist."

- So you just stand there?

- It doesn't hurt.

Getting your face beat in doesn't hurt?

[Chuckles]

Not if you daydream.

I daydream all through it

about my work.

I imagine myself standing

there in the same spot...

clicking off roll after roll of film...

humming to myself with pleasure.

I hum to myself when I work.

There are times

that I actually think...

I'm doing what

I'm only dreaming I'm doing.

Muggers tend to get very depressed...

when you hum all the while

they're beating you up.

It's not something

l-I choose to do, mind you.

- It's one of those things you learn to live with.

- This guy's a riot.

Well, uh, tell me, h-h-how do

you get into these things?

- You... You must do something to get them mad.

- [Mouths Word]

Well, goddamn it,

you're getting me mad.

Aren't they adorable?

What did I tell you about him, hmm?

Didn't I predict?

- I think he's very sweet.

- Oh-ho-ho. That's a sure sign.

You think they're all sweet.

Well, I'll be damned if I let myself stand by...

and let a woman fight

my battles for me.

Ooh, they don't make frontier fighters

like my father anymore.

Let me see how tough you are.

See if you can break my grip.

Come on, Patsy. Cut it out.

Patsy, I don't want to hurt you. Patsy.

- [Chuckles]

- Patsy. [Chuckles]

Who's my big baby girl, eh?

Who, who, who?

I wish you had as much brains

as you have brawn.

- You don't like him, do you, Daddy?

- Don't put words in my mouth.

- Then you do like him.

- I want to know more about

him before I make up my mind.

- Not to like him.

- Don't bully me, young lady.

- You know I don't like it when you bully me.

- You love it when I bully you.

[Both Chuckle]

You're too fast for the old man.

But I know a thing or two.

Never settle for less.

- Daddy, I'm not.

- Don't undersell yourself.

Hey, when have I ever

undersold myself?

The right man will come along.

Daddy, I'm 27. The right men were

all married five years ago.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You're very popular.

Mmm. Sure.

When they want a woman...

they can collapse without shame

in front of, they come to me.

Well, why not?

You're trusted.

Oh, to meet a man who is ashamed

to collapse in front of me.

I'm tired of

being Mother Earth.

Alfred's the only man I know

who isn't waiting for me to save him.

You know how that makes me feel?

God help me, I've got to save him.

Come and get it.

I always said that

to my children at mealtime.

I've always found it

a charming family tradition.

I always say...

Come and get it

To my children.

I dream of the day

when I can hear Patsy say...

Come and get it

To her children.

Kenny, come and get it.

- Or do you need a special invitation?

- In a minute.

Not in a minute, young man.

Right now.

It's kind of stuffy in here, Alfred.

Do you want to open the window

like a good fellow? No, dear. I asked Alfred.

It's all right.

It's perfectly all right.

Son of a b*tch!

Son of a b*tch refused to open.

- Excuse me.

- [Mutters]

[Mother]

Thank you, Alfred.

You see, I had my reasons.

- Well, I loosened it.

- He loosened it. [Chuckling]

That's a riot!

[Kenny Laughing]

All right, smart guy. You open it.

Well, come on.

You're the smart one around here.

Let's see you open it.

I spent the whole day cooking.

Can't we eat now...

and open and close

windows later?

- This won't take a second.

Well, are you gonna try...

- [Laughing]

Or are you just gonna sit there and laugh

at the earnest efforts of your betters, huh?

[Mocking Laughter]

[Grunting]

Uh, window.

[Grunts]

[Imitating Carol]

Son of a b*tch! Son of a b*tch.

[High-pitched Voice]

Oh.

- [All Chuckling]

- You're not so smart now, are you?

[Mocks Laughter]

Oh, you don't know what a pleasure it

is to have my family all together like this.

Did you know that in last year's

big power failure...

some people stood in the subways in

total darkness for as long as four hours...

without bringing their newspapers...

Kenny, come back here.

Without bringing their newspapers down

from in front of their faces?

Be nice if someone else around here would

think of lighting the candles once in a while.

[Chuckles]

I'm the watchdog around here, Alfred.

- I can imagine what Patsy

must have told you about me.

- [Electricity Crackling]

- [Carol Grunts]

- [Slurping]

- [Patsy] Great soup, Mom.

- [Dishes Clinking]

You're a photographer,

Alfred, so I thought you'd be interested...

in seeing these pictures

of Patsy's dead brother, Steve.

- [Sighs]

- He looks very handsome in his swimsuit.

He won five Gold Cups.

- He was four years older than Patsy.

- Nine years older than me.

He looks very handsome

in his baseball uniform.

He only pitched no-hitters.

Thank you for letting me see them.

This one was taken after he came home

from the war a hero.

He looks very handsome

in his uniform.

- What do the double bars signify?

- He was a captain... a hero.

He bombed Korea.

When his country called on him

to serve again, he bombed Vietnam.

A brilliant future in electronics.

Not an enemy in the world. Who ever would

have thought he'd be shot down in his tracks...

on the corner of 97 th Street

and Amsterdam Avenue?

But I won't bore you

with our tragedy.

Damn it, Mother! Must we go through

this every time I bring a man home for dinner?

Patsy's done it again.

Boy, I'd be killed

if I ever talked like that.

And that's for basketball,

and that's for bowling.

And that's for basketball,

and that's for bowling.

And... that's for tennis.

She's as strong as an ox.

When we were kids,

we used to wrestle all the time.

- I always lost.

- Are you still with us?

- That's me with Steve.

- And me.

They still don't have

any idea who did it, eh?

Oh, it's all right.

It's perfectly all right.

The boys down at homicide have worked long

and hard and imaginatively on this case.

Many have become

close and personal friends.

[Humming]

[Continues]

[Sighs]

[Continues]

I didn't mean to

take your time, Alfred.

Knowing you were a photographer,

I thought you'd be interested.

Exactly what sort of work

do you do?

Oh, it's sort of complicated. You don't...

You don't really want to know.

You may as well.

[Exhales]

Well, I began as a commercial photographer.

Well, you began as a painter.

Oh, l... I was a bad painter.

Says you.

Jesus Christ!

Will you let the boy finish?

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