Little Shop of Horrors Page #2

...you remember that total eclipse of the sun

about a week ago?

Da-doo

I was walking in the wholesale

flower district that day.

CHORUS:

Shoop da-doo

And I passed by this place

where this old Chinese man...

CHORUS:

Chang da-doo

He sometimes sells

me weird and exotic cuttings...

Snip da-doo

Because he knows, you see,

that strange plants are my hobby.

Da-da-da da-da da-doo

SEYMOUR:

He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

Nope, da-doo

SEYMOUR:

So I was just about to, you know, walk on by.

Good for you

Ooh, ooh, she-shoo-bop

Shoo-bop

When suddenly,

and without warning, there was this:

CHORUS:

Total eclipse of the sun

SEYMOUR:

It got very dark.

And there was this strange humming sound

like something from another world.

CHORUS:

Da-doo

And when the light came back

this weird plant was just sitting there.

CHORUS:

Oops-ee-doo

SEYMOUR:

Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.

Audrey II

SEYMOUR:

I could have sworn it hadn't been there before.

But the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways...

...for a dollar ninety-five.

Sha la la, la la la, la la la

Doo

Well, that's an unusual story,

and a fascinating plant.

Oh, while I'm here,

I might as well take $50 worth of roses.

Fifty dollars?

Can you break a hundred?

A hundred? Uh, no.

Well, then I'll just have to take

twice as many, won't I?

- Twice as many?

- Twice as many?

Twice as many!

Twice as many.

That plant in the window, it's simply amazing!

That plant in the window,

wherever did you get it?

- Look, there it is, Marge.

- Oh, my gosh, it's peculiar.

Aah.

Thank you!

Thank you very much, sir! Thank you!

Thank you! Come again!

Come and look at the weirdo plant some more!

It's just gonna get bigger

and more interesting. Ha-ha-ha.

What, what, what?

Just don't stand there! Quick, quick!

Put the plant back in the...

Oh, what did you call it?

Audrey II.

Put that Audrey II back in the window

where the passersby can see it.

Oh, my God!

I never thought this could happen!

Oh, my children...

...I'm taking us all out to dinner tonight!

Oh, I'd love to, Mr. Mushnik,

but I have a date.

With that same "nogoodnik"?

I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need

a date with him. You need major medical.

He's a rebel, Mr. Mushnik, but he...

He makes good money.

Besides...

...he's the only fellow I got.

Enjoy dinner. Good night, Seymour.

SEYMOUR:

Good night, Audrey.

Poor girl.

Are we still going out?

You're not going anywhere, Krelborn.

You're staying right here

and taking care of that sick plant!

I told you it's been giving me trouble.

The Audrey II is not a healthy girl.

Strictly between us, neither is the Audrey I.

If only I knew what breed it was.

Who cares what breed it is?

Look what it's done for business.

- I know.

- So work, Seymour.

Nurse this plant back to health.

I'm counting on you.

- I know.

- You do?

- I do.

- So fix. Good night.

Aw, Twoey, I don't know

what else I can do for you.

Are you sickly, little plant,

or are you just plain stubborn?

What is it you want?

What is it you need?

I've given you sunshine

I've given you dirt

You've given me nothin'

But heartache and hurt

I'm beggin' you sweetly

I'm down on my knees

Oh, please

Grow for me

I've given you plant food

And water to sip

I've given you potash

You've given me zip

Oh, God how I mist you

Oh, pod how you tease

Now please

Grow for me

I've given you southern exposure

To get you to thrive

I've pinched you back hard

Like I'm supposed to

You're barely alive

I've tried you at levels of moisture

From desert to mud

I've given you grow-lights

And mineral supplements

What do you want from me?

Blood?

Ow! Damn roses. Damn thorns.

I've given you sunlight

I've given you rain

Looks like you're not happy

'Less I open a vein

Ugh.

I'll give you a few drops

If that'll appease

Oh, please

Oh, oh, oh, please

Grow for me

W-S-K-I-D

Skid Row radio

You're listening

to radio station WSKID, home of the hits.

In just a few minutes we'll bring you

Wink Wilkinson's Weird World...

...the show that talks to wonderful people

who bring in their weird things.

But first, the weather.

Thank you very much, Tom.

The weather today will be partly cloudy

with a chance of rain. Sorry about that.

The high temperature

will be in the low 50s tonight...

...so get out those electric blankets.

Tomorrow we'll start off with morning haze...

- Excuse me. I was told to come...

- Yeah, you're next.

MAN:

High tomorrow should be in the low 70s...

...with the low in the high 60s.

In the suburbs, the sun should be out

through most of the day...

...except for some cloudy patches

in the evening...

...but I don't think it'll affect your barbecue.

The barometer reading should be 21.6.

The wind will be about...

...uh, I'd say 12 miles per hour...

...so watch it out there on those boats.

The sun will be rising tomorrow

at about 7:
17 a. M...

...and it should be setting around 6:29 p.m.,

but check me if I'm wrong.

A cold front is moving in from the southwest.

But it should brighten up by noon.

The weekend should be mild.

For you average-mean-temperature fans...

...the average mean temperature

for the season is 69 degrees, not too bad.

Thank you, and back to you.

MAN:

You're listening to radio station WSKID.

And now, Wink Wilkinson's Weird World,

with your host, Wink Wilkinson.

Hi everybody! It's Weird Wink Wilkinson,

laughing and scratching at you.

How's everybody doing today?

I got a bit of a stiff neck.

Let me fix this up.

Ooh, that feels a lot better!

I got a great show for you today...

...with some wonderful weird stuff!

What are you doing here?

What? You... Please, lady, no!

Put your clothes back on!

You can't do this to me!

What if your husband were to walk in?

I'm here. I love your show...

...but I've got to kill you

with this machine gun.

Oh, you got me!

I feel... I feel so very weird!

Our first guest is a young man...

...you probably read about in the newspapers,

by the name of, um...

Seymour Krelborn. Is that correct?

Who has discovered a new breed of plant

hitherto unknown on this planet.

Let me play you down to your seat, Seymour.

Hello, Seymour!

Um...

Hello, Wink.

I wish you folks at home could see this.

Seymour, where did you get such a weird plant?

Well, you remember that total eclipse

of the sun about a week ago?

Thus we conclude

our interview with the young botanical...

- Mind if I call you a genius?

- Oh, hoo.

SEYMOUR:

Gosh, no!

The genius who's discovered

this amazing, unidentified plant.

I'd like to remind our listeners

that the Audrey II is on display...

...exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florists.

- Shh!

- Am I late? Did I miss it?

- Mushnik's.

- Until next week...

- The address.

- This is Wilkinson saying...

- The address!

- Six days a week...

I said, mention the address!

Skid Row radio

Ugh. Oh, well. It's still good advertising.

Seymour's first radio broadcast.

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes