Little Shop of Horrors Page #3

I wanted to hear it so bad.

I tried to be on time, but...

Don't tell me. You got tied up.

No, just handcuffed a little.

Girl. Hey, girl.

I don't know who this mess is

you been hanging out with...

...but he is hazardous to your health.

That's for sure. But I can't leave him.

- Why not?

- Oh, he'd get angry.

And if he does this to me when he likes me,

imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad.

So? Dump the chump.

Get another guy and let him protect you.

How about the little jerk with the glasses?

- Seymour?

- That's him.

Oh, we're just friends.

I don't even deserve a sweet, considerate...

...suddenly successful guy like Seymour.

That poor child

suffers from low self-image.

- You got a point.

- She got a problem.

I know Seymour's the greatest

But I'm dating a semi-sadist

So I got a black eye

And my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie

Well, if not, he's got inner beauty

And I dream of a place

Where we could be together at last

A matchbox of our own

A fence of real chain link

A grill out on the patio

Disposal in the sink

A washer and a dryer

And an ironing machine

In a tract house that we share

Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass

He loves to mow and weed

I cook like Betty Crocker

And I look like Donna Reed

There's plastic on the furniture

To keep it neat and clean

In the Pine-Sol scented air

Somewhere that's green

Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner

And our bed-time: 9:15

We snuggle watching Lucy

On our big, enormous

Twelve-inch screen

I'm his December Bride

He's father, he knows best

The kids play Howdy Doody

As the sun sets in the west

A picture out of

Better Homes and Gardens Magazine

Far from Skid Row

I dream we'll go

Somewhere that's

Green

Poor Seymour pushed a broom

Nothing in his news but gloom and doom

Then he lit a fuse and give him room

He started an explosion

Holy cow

That thing went bang, kaboom

And he's havin' some fun now

Now

Some fun now

Hot damn

Ain't he havin' some fun now

Yes, ma'am

He's a havin' some fun now

Oh, boy

Ain't he havin' some fun now

All right!

Now! Some fun now

Sho 'nuff

Ain't he havin' some fun now Hot stuff

He's a havin' some fun now

Oh, boy

Ain't he havin' some fun now

Now

Some fun now

Good God, good God

He's havin' some fun now

Oh, boy, oh, boy

Yeah, he's a havin' some fun now

Oh, boy

Ain't he havin' some fun now

Some fun now

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!

Hello?

Hello? Hold on.

Uh, yes, yes. Yes, Mrs. Shiva.

Uh, no, Mrs. Shiva. Right away, Mrs. Shiva.

- Seymour!

- I'd just like to pay for these, please.

MUSHNIK:

Seymour!

Did you send out the order for Mrs. Shiva?

Mrs. Shiva? I forgot!

You forgot?

You forgot!

Do you hear this, God? He forgot!

Are you listening, customers? He forgot!

Audrey, quick! We've got to do

an emergency arrangement.

Birthday? Wedding? Baby?

- Funeral.

- Hand me the lilies.

Mr. Mushnik's real mad at me, Audrey.

I keep forgetting things.

Scissors. You got a lot on your mind.

Mind? What mind? The Shivas are

our most important funereal account.

A big enormous family,

they're dropping off like flies!

Sometimes I think

Mr. Mushnik's too hard on you. Glue.

That's okay.

- After all, I owe him everything.

- Glitter.

He took me out of the Skid Row Home for Boys

when I was just a little tyke...

...gave me a warm place to stay,

floors to sweep, toilets to clean...

...and every other Sunday off.

You know, I think you ought

to raise your expectations, Seymour.

Now that you're getting successful, I mean.

It's clear you suffer from a low self-image.

And it's high time you get it fixed.

Why don't you go out

and do something nice for yourself like...

...buy some new clothes?

Oh, I'm a very bad shopper, Audrey.

I don't have good taste like you.

Oh.

Well, I could help you pick things out.

- You could?

- Sure.

You'd go shopping with me?

Sure.

You'd be seen with me in a public place

like a department store?

Sure.

Tonight?

Oh, I can't tonight. I got a date.

Again, this date?

Some date.

A date gives you a corsage,

not a multiple fracture.

I'm telling you, Audrey,

he's not a good, clean kind of boy.

He's a professional.

What kind of a professional

drives a motorcycle...

...and wears a black leather jacket?

When I was younger, just a bad little kid

My momma noticed funny things I did

Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun

I'd poison guppies

And when I was done

I'd find a p*ssy cat and bash in its head

That's when my momma said

What did she say?

She said

My boy, I think someday

You'll find a way

To make your natural tendencies pay

- You'll be a dentist

- You'll be a dentist

- You have a talent for causing things pain

- Pain

- Son, be a dentist

- Son, be a dentist

- People will pay you to be inhumane

- That's inhumane

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood

- And teaching would suit you still less

- Aah!

Son, be a dentist

You'll be a success

WOMAN:

Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque

Watch him suck up that gas

Oh, my God

He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good

Who wants their teeth done

By the Marquis de Sade?

Oh, that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb.

Eh, shut up. Open wide, here I come!

- I am your dentist

- Goodness gracious

- And I enjoy the career that I picked

- You love it

I am your dentist

- And I get off on the pain I inflict

- You really love it

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid

It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted

- And though it may cause my patients distress

- No, no, no.

Somewhere

Somewhere in heaven above me

I know

I know that my momma's proud of me

Oh, Momma.

'Cause I'm a dentist

- And a success

- Aah!

Say, "Ahh."

Say, "Ahh."

Say, "Ahh!"

Now spit!

Excuse me, sir, you can't go in there right now.

Relax. You want some nitrous oxide?

- No thanks.

- Suit yourself.

We're closed.

- Well...

- Oh, it's all right, Seymour.

This is my date, my boyfriend.

Seymour, Orin Scrivello.

- D.D.S.

- Hey!

I know you. Sure, I saw you on the news.

I even know your name.

Now, let's see. It's, uh, Cecil. No, no, no.

- It's, uh, Cedric.

- No.

Give me a chance.

It's, uh, ahem...

- Simon?

- Seymour!

- Somebody talking to you?

- Oh, no. Excuse me.

Excuse me, what?

Excuse me, doctor.

That's better.

I know! Sure! You're the plant guy, right?

Well, hey! That means

it must be in there, huh?

Well! That is incredible.

- What do you call that thing?

- Audrey II.

Cute name. It's catchy.

Nice plant. Big.

Uh, shouldn't we be leaving now?

You're quite the little chatterbox tonight,

ain't you?

- I'm sorry.

- Sorry, what?

Sorry, doctor. Doctor. Sorry, doctor.

You've got to train them, huh, stud? Heh.

Listen, here's my card.

You ever need a root canal or anything

like that, give me a buzz, you hear?

Now, I'm serious. It's on the house.

Audrey!

You got the handcuffs?

They're right in my bag.

You ought to see the way he treats her, Twoey.

She deserves a prince,

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