Living It Up Page #4

- Status quo.

Is there any pain?

Comes and goes, goes and comes.

- Oh, this is Oliver Stone, my publisher.

- Happy to know you, Doctor.

I don't know how we can show

our thanks for all you've done,

but I'm having my paper, the Chronicle,

prepare a series of articles

against socialised medicine.

Say, he has quite an appetite,

hasn't he?

Oh, eats like a horse.

Symptoms of the disease.

Well, but don't you think

you should put him on a diet?

Dr Harris, may we see him?

Well...

- May we?

- Yes.

- This way.

- This way.

Well...

- How are you, sailor?

- Seasick.

Hello, Homer. I'm Oliver Stone.

Oh, how do you do?

I'm awfully glad to meet you, Mr Stone.

You're the kind soul

that's giving me everything free.

Everything I want, sparing no expense.

What a fine man, what a good man,

what a swell man you...

Seems awfully healthy to me.

That's the way he is, always smiling.

Homer, Oliver has scheduled

a lot of public appearances for you.

Oh, I'm sorry,

but the fewer people he sees the better.

I think it's best I filled in for him.

Wait a minute! He's the story, not you!

If you think at these prices that I...

I didn't mean to upset you,

but we've made all the arrangements.

The World Series,

complete tour of the city.

Tomorrow, tomorrow was going to be

Homer Flagg Night at Wonderland.

Oh, he doesn't feel up to it.

What's Wonderland?

Oh, it's a dancehall, girls.

Much too tiring.

- I feel fine.

- Are you sure you're up to it?

All these events are fine for circulation,

but you come first.

Oh, I'm fine.

But when the end does come,

I want you to write about me,

"Exit Laughing."

You better go now. He's had enough.

- Come on, let's go. Come on.

- Yes.

- Doctor.

- Yes?

I want to thank you

for what you're doing for Homer.

- It's not very much.

- I know all about it.

You do? Well...

Leaving your hometown

to come to New York,

giving up your whole practice.

My whole practice is right in that room.

The poor kid.

Poor Homer.

No! No! Wait a minute.

There's gotta be a mistake.

- Shrimp cocktails for 3,000.

- No! I protest!

This must be the wrong room!

- Who ordered these shrimp cocktails?

- No!

...popcorn, chewing gum!

Candy, peanuts, popcorn, chewing gum!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Homer Flagg

has just entered Yankee Stadium,

I ask this distinguished gathering

to rise in tribute,

Who is the bravest?

The very bravest by far

You are the bravest

Homer Flagg, you are

We thank you, Be seated,

And now,

Homer will throw out the first ball,

The first ball for us,

perhaps the last one for him,

Mr Flagg.

If you're too weak to throw it

all the way to the pitcher,

just toss it to me, and I'll relay.

Oh, no, thank you.

There will be a change in the line-up

for New York,

Now pitching,,,

I think I'll have

this filet mignon with souffl,

and then some vichyssoise.

Duck I'orange aux truffles is nice,

and for dessert,

I'll have some of those petit fours.

I'll leave it to you.

You bring me

everything you can think of.

- Why should I worry about my weight?

- Homer.

- Don't eat the food here, it'll kill you.

- But I'm hungry.

I'll run next door to the delicatessen.

I'll get you a nice corned beef sandwich.

Oh, I wouldn't want you to go

to that trouble.

I assure you, it's an honour.

Hey.

How does a fellow get through to you?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was watching Homer.

I've tried everything.

You know, some boys and girls,

when they dance,

pay attention to each other.

- Oh?

- May sound like a radical idea to you,

but why don't you give it a try?

I'm sorry, Steve.

I'm paying attention now.

What did you want to tell me?

How do you speak to an angel?

I'm completely in the dark

When you know

that you've just met an angel

is there a proper remark?

We were alone for a moment

Why was I lost in a cloud?

Do you speak to an angel in a whisper?

Or do you just say I love you

out loud?

We were alone for a moment

Why was I lost in a cloud?

Do you speak to an angel in a whisper?

Or do you just say

I love you

out loud?

Let's see what Homer's doing.

Maybe he's got a girl for me.

Especially for you.

Eat. Eat. Enjoy yourself.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Having fun?

- Kind of.

But sometimes I get a little depressed.

Like before,

when we walked in, everybody moaned.

They all looked at me

like I was an iodine label.

Hold it!

That ought to wring their hearts.

I used to love New York when it went

gaga over some celebrity

and danced in the street

with a neon light around its heart.

But I'm getting fed up with the trick tears

and the phoney lamentations over you.

I'm glad they're phoney.

Kind of makes everything

all right in a way.

- Makes what all right?

- Well...

- Makes what all right?

- Well...

Homer means he doesn't like

to see these people suffer.

They love to suffer.

Yeah, for good clean fun,

there's nothing like a wake.

Please, let's not talk shop.

Come on now,

this conversation's getting me down.

Let's loosen up a bit.

A little champagne, please.

- That's the word. Champagne.

- Champagne.

- Buckets of it.

- Buckets of it.

- White champagne.

- White champagne.

- Pink champagne.

- Pink champagne.

- Blue champagne.

- Blue champagne.

Mix it all together

and force it down my throat.

This is my last fling,

and I'm gonna fling it.

- No, Homer, it's not on your diet.

- Big mouth.

Waiter, bottle of ginger ale for Mr Flagg.

Bottle of ginger ale for Mr Flagg.

- Domestic.

- Domestic.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

May I offer greetings

to this star-studded array of celebrities,

Tonight, there is one among us

who adds a bit of unaccustomed drama

to our revels,

Here's your ginger ale.

Thanks very much.

There he sits, undaunted by fate,

a brave smile on his lips,

drinking in the charm, the glitter,

the gay sounds of life,

Don't pay any attention to the label.

You've got champagne

in the ginger ale bottle.

Big mouth, he got ginger ale

in the champagne bottle.

- "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."

- Thank you.

On with the show, my little actors all,

for New York is New York,

and though its heart breaks, it dances,

Tonight!

Tonight, my friends,

you are not the famous people

of Broadway,

Tonight, you are a little chorus

laughing and pirouetting

to afford one last brief hour,,,

- Here's your water, Homer.

- Who wants water?

- Vodka.

- Oh, vodka.

- Only for you.

- For me.

Compliments, Waiters' Union,

Local 603.

- Now?

- Who's stopping?

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

if the judges are ready,

we will start Wonderland's

internationally famous Jitterbug Final,

I wanna dance.

Ladies and gentlemen,

never have I been so deeply touched,

Homer Flagg has asked permission

to enter our dancing contest,

One final gauntlet thrown into the face

of the Grim Reaper,

- Shall we let him?

- No!

- Yes!

- Yes!

Homer, you're very fortunate

this evening,

My friends, we are indeed

very happy to present

last year's contest winner,

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