Living It Up Page #3

- Miss Cook, I'd like to ask you a favour.

- Yes, Doctor?

I don't want any so-called specialists

poking at my patient.

I'm not bringing him all the way

to New York just to be a guinea pig.

Yes, 'cause everybody knows what

I got is incurable, so it would just be

a waste of time.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll see you're not bothered.

You know, sailor, all these stories

have to begin the same way.

Now, what do you think of New York?

Oh, I feel as if I lived here all my life.

I feel as if I were coming home.

- Beautiful!

- I'm gonna have fun first.

I am, really I am.

Well, if that doesn't make them cry,

nothing will.

Cry? Why should they cry?

Because you're the bravest, sweetest,

and nicest kid in the whole world.

Miss.

"...I were coming home.

"I feel..."

- What was that?

- 2:
00 medicine.

2:
00 medicine at 9:00?

You're not supposed

to give me medicine.

You were last in your class.

Just one of his seizures. He's been

going on nerve alone, you know?

Oh, the poor, brave kid.

Does this happen very often?

Can't tell yet. The case is too new.

Oh, but he'll be all right.

I hope so.

I know how you feel about poor Homer,

but life must go on.

I ought to take you out on the town

tonight and cheer you up.

- Homer would want it that way.

- Really?

Sweetest kid that ever was.

Now, you tell me where you live,

and I'll pick you up.

My dear doctor, I live on the front

page of the Morning Chronicle,

On the what?

On the front page

of the Morning Chronicle,

And you can pick me up

for seven cents.

Now climb back in your horse

and buggy

and try your bedside manner

on someone else!

What was that?

We just came down to earth.

Come on, boy, we've landed.

Come on, come on.

"Gentlemen, as the Mayor of New York

City, it gives me great pleasure

"to receive you here

and to present you..."

Oh, I guess I'll remember it all right.

I really appreciate your doing this,

Your Honour. It's for a worthy cause.

Hey, Doc!

Doc, what's the latest bulletin?

- Status quo.

- Well, is he suffering?

Feeling no pain, hasn't opened his eyes

since we landed.

Poor guy.

How long do you figure he'll last?

Sixteen days?

- Fifteen days, maybe?

- Well, that's hard to tell.

Well, look, if you get a hint, tip me off,

will you?

Because I got the fourteenth day

in the pool.

Yeah, I'll tell him.

Maybe for you, he'll speed things up.

Thanks, Doc.

- Is there a cure for him?

- Not in his condition.

I'm Dr Harris.

Would you take a letter, please?

To Mr Saks,

in care of Saks Fifth Avenue,

New York, New York.

Would you read that back, please?

"Mr Saks, Saks Fifth Avenue,

New York, New York."

- Is that all I said?

- Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Dear, Mr Saks, how's the family?

New paragraph.

I read the ad in the paper today

and I would like two of everything.

And send the bill to Oliver Stone,

in care of

the New York Morning Chronicle,

Drop over and see me for a minute

if you can get someone

to watch the store.

Sincerely yours, Homer Flagg.

The poor kid.

- Oh, don't feel bad. I'm not gonna...

- Homer!

...have trouble living here. Hiya, Steve.

Hey, Steve, get a load of all this.

Is this beautiful?

Come here, let me show you around!

In here. Isn't this terrific?

A bathroom

bigger than the station at Desert Hole.

And look it out here, Doc.

Another bathroom.

So shiny, so clean, you gotta wash up

before you go in there.

Hey, come here.

This way.

- And guess what's in here?

- A bathroom.

Right. Isn't that silly?

Indoors, three bathrooms.

Outdoors, nothing.

- All right, Homer, calm down.

- And look over here.

- Homer.

- Hey, Doc, look at this furniture.

- Is that terrific?

- Homer.

And the telephone, all you have to do

is pick it up and ask for room service.

- Homer!

- But the paper's paying for it.

Hello, room service, please.

Hello, room service? Guess who?

What are you doing, Doc?

Come on. He's a very sick boy.

Come on.

Oh, hello. Hello, everyone.

How are you all?

What are you doing, you idiot?

- I'm living my last days to the hilt.

- You gotta calm down.

Don't you know this whole city's

gone off its rocker about you?

You gotta play the part.

You gotta give them

something to cry about.

Like the end is drawing close.

Oh, Doctor.

I think the end is drawing close.

I'm not long for this world, Doctor.

Oh, and I'm so young.

Oh, much too young to die.

No. You gotta play it weak and soulfully.

- Well, that was weak and soulfully.

- But it wasn't believable.

Look, if someone comes in,

first we do this.

Then I take your pulse,

and you do the rest with your eyes.

Remember this is a sickroom.

Hurry up, get in bed.

Hello. Yes, this is Dr Harris.

I told you, Mr Flagg is in no condition

to receive visitors.

Needs all the rest he can get.

Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Send them right up!

Homer! Homer!

Wally and the editor,

they're on their way up. Here.

Thirty-two in the waist.

Would you make

two of everything, please?

One for me and one for my doctor.

- Did you hear that, two of everything?

- Homer!

- One for him, one for the doctor.

- Here he is now!

- Hiya, Doc.

- What are you doing here?

These guys make nice clothes.

Go ahead, measure him.

- Don't measure me.

- The shoulder is 17.

- Homer!

- Hello, room service?

- Homer.

- What have you got left?

I'm just gonna order something

to eat for you. Aren't you hungry, Doc?

Homer!

- Will you let me out?

- Hello, room service.

He's a very sick boy.

- Hello. Just a minute. Hold on.

- Homer.

- Hello, New York. Hello. I love you.

- Homer.

You want to come up for dinner?

Room 3608.

- How many shrimp cocktails?

- Homer.

- I got it.

- Homer.

What are you doing down there, Doc?

Come on.

Hello? Hello?

Yes, I'm holding on room service.

I'm just trying to get room service.

Come on, son, you're going to bed.

Oh, no, but I have guests for dinner!

You do that later. Right now,

I got to check your haemoglobin.

No, wait a minute.

Send me 3,000 shrimp cocktails.

- Oh, Homer, 3,000 shrimp cocktails.

- Well, that's how many people I invited.

Why, you little hyperthyroid.

Everybody'll get wise,

and Wally will be here in a minute.

Yeah, and I'm gonna tell her on you,

too. You leave me alone.

I'm just trying to have some fun,

and you're stopping me from having it!

Come on, I want to have fun.

You want to have fun?

Go ahead, have fun.

Doc! Doc!

Here comes Dr Harris now.

Quiet, everyone, quiet.

Friends, I'm sorry

you had to see him like that.

But it's the leukocytes

fighting the necrosis.

I'd appreciate it

if you wouldn't mention that.

Now, if you'd all leave,

I'm sure he can get a little peace

and a little quiet.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Doc! Doc! Hey, Doc!

That wasn't very nice of you, Doc.

I had no fun in there!

- Oh, quiet, Homer.

- What's the matter?

Wally's out in the hall.

Now, do me a favour.

- What?

- Die a little.

Now.

Come in.

- Oh, Dr Harris, how is he?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes