Liz & Dick Page #7

I SUPPOSED WE COULD OPEN UP

THE HOUSE IN SWITZERLAND.

[ SIGHS ]

MR. BURTON.

I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN...

ALMOST TWO YEARS,

I THINK.

YEAH.

ARE YOU BACK?

MISS TAYLOR?

ELIZABETH AND THE CHILDREN

ARRIVE TOMORROW.

WE ARE:

THE ADVANCE GUARD

COME TO OPEN THE HOUSE

FOR CHRISTMAS.

BLOODY WEATHER:

YOU'RE HAVING.

TOMORROW:

WILL BE BEAUTIFUL.

SOME WINE TO START?

Richard:

AH, GOOD OLD BERNARD,

CALCULATING EXACTLY

WHAT CHRISTMAS WILL COST.

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

TALK TO ELIZABETH.

YOU'RE AS BAD

AS EACH OTHER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN TWO PEOPLE

PISS IT AWAY SO BLOODY QUICKLY.

COMING FROM ONE OF THE DOZENS

OF FAMILY MEMBERS ON SALARY.

I WORKFOR MY MONEY.

AS, DEAR BROTHER, DO I.

OH, NO.

DON'T YOU GET UP.

YOU FINISH UP HERE.

I'LL GO OPEN UP YOUR HOUSE,

AND THEN I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU!

VERY WELL, GOOD MAN.

YOU CAN ALWAYS COUN ON IFOR.

[ SIGHS ]

[ KEYS CLATTER ]

[ SWITCH CLICKING ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ CLATTERING ]

[ GRUNTS, MOANS ]

[ WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH

OVER P.A. ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

I'M...VERY SORRY.

[ GASPS ]

IT'S HIS SPINE.

HE'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ FUNK MUSIC PLAYING ]

CAN YOU PLEASE:

SHUT THAT THING OFF?!

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

CAN I PLEASE:

GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET?!

[ VOLUME DECREASES ]

[ SPLASH, MUSIC STOPS ]

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

NOTHING.

NOW I DROWNED IT.

OUR GUESTS:

ARE TRYING TO HAVE FUN.

YES, AND SO WAS I --

UNTIL YOU RUINED IT!

OH, RICHARD,

I'LL RUIN IT.

AH!

THAT'S MY NEXT JOB.

"BLUEBEARD"?

"BLUEBEARD" -- UTTER CLAPTRAP,

BUT FOR THE MONEY, I WILL DANCE.

YOU KNOW, HE MURDERED

SEVERAL OF HIS WIVES.

I'M BEGINNING

TO IDENTIFY WITH HIM.

AND WHO PLAYS THESE WIVES?

HMM?

LET ME GUESS --

THEY'RE ALL 12 YEARS OLD.

NO.

THEY'VE ONLY CAST RAQUEL WELCH

AND VIRNA LISI SO FAR.

OH, SO YOU'RE GONNA DO

THIS PIECE OF CRAP

AND THEN:

GROPE ALL THESE GIRLS.

THIS IS A JOB.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

PAYS FOR ALL OF THIS?!

WITCH, THAT'S A BOOK!

OH! WITCH?!

YES!

YES!

YOU PUT A SPELL ON ME,

DIDN'T YOU?!

I SHOULD'VE STAYED ON THE STAGE,

LIKE SCOFIELD,

INSTEAD OF:

WASTING MY TALENT ON YOU!

OH, ON ME?!

YES!

ON ME?!

ON YOU!

I LOVE I WHEN YOU GET ANGRY, RICHARD!

OH, REALLY?

THIS IS WHAT RICHARD JENKINS

WOULD'VE WANTED.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY

TO DEAL WITH WITCHES,

AND THAT'S TO BURN THEM

OR TO DROWN THEM!

OOH, ELIZABETH!

ELIZABETH!

ELIZABETH!

[ POUNDING ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

ELIZABETH?

SOMETHING:

TO CHEER YOU UP.

YOU BOUGHT ME:

THE WHOLE LIBRARY.

ALL 1,000 VOLUMES.

[ HORNS HONKING ]

I LOVE THIS LITTLE PLANE.

WE SHOULD HAVE ONE.

I'LL CATCH YOU UP.

BY THE WAY, HOW MUCH

WOULD A PLANE LIKE

THIS ONE SET ME BACK?

USED, LIKE THIS?

YEAH.

A MILLION.

WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK?

RICHARD, NO.

OH, I'M GOING TO

GIVE UP DRINKING.

THINK OF ALL THE MONEY

THAT WILL SAVE US.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOG BARKS ]

Elizabeth:

TWO ACADEMY AWARDS,

AND THEY DROP ME

FROM THE TOP 10 MOVIE STARS.

IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE BREASTS

AND TURN 40 IN THIS BUSINESS,

AND IT'S BYE-BYE.

CHEER UP, ELIZABETH.

I JUST BOUGHT YOU A PLANE.

WELL, YOUR BIG-BOOBED RAQUEL

MADE THE LIST.

DON'T BLAME ME. I'M ONLY

DOING THIS RUBBISH FOR YOU.

READ IT.

IT'S UNPLAYABLE.

OH, BOO-HOO.

WHAT YOU NEED:

IS A HUGE 40th BIRTHDAY PARTY.

OH, STOP REMINDING ME

THAT I'M 40.

YOU LOOK FABULOUS. YOU'LL MAKE

THEM ALL SICK WITH ENVY.

[ SIGHS ]

THAT'LL GET ME ANOTHER JOB.

OKAY, LAST TIME --

DO YOU OR DO YOU NO WANT TO BE THE CENTERPIECE

OF A SPLENDID,

MAGNIFICENT PARTY?

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

RICHARD JUST THREW IT AT ME.

HE SAID,

"HERE'S ANOTHER TRINKET."

CHAMPAGNE?

NO, THANK YOU.

I'M GIVING IT UP FOR LENT.

HERE WE ARE.

[ GASPS ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

Guests:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Man:

MAKE A WISH, ELIZABETH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

DARLING.

YOU'D THINK SHE WAS STILL

A MOVIE STAR.

Richard:
ELIZABETH.

ELIZABETH.

[ CRYING ]

OH.

YOU'RE STILL A STAR.

HEY, YOU ARE

THE BIGGEST STAR.

I'M A JOKE.

NO!

NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU'RE MY LOVE.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

SHH.

SHH, SHH, SHH.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

RICHARD,

I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S IFOR.

H-HE DIED.

NO.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

GET AWAY FROM ME.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Elizabeth:

LOOK, I'LL BE HONEST --

I DIDN'T LIKE IFOR

WHEN I FIRST MET HIM.

BUT IT'S OKAY.

YOU AND I:

HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT.

HE JUST SEEMED A BIT TOO OLD

TO BE RICHARD'S BROTHER --

TOO DOUR, TOO JUDGMENTAL.

I USED TO CALL HIM RICHARD'S

LITTLE WELSH-VILLAGE CONSCIENCE.

YOU KNOW,

WE BECAME FRIENDS.

AND I REALIZED:

THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING

TO PROTECT RICHARD

THE WHOLE TIME.

AND HE WAS A GOOD MAN.

HE WAS GENTLE.

I MAY BE YOUR OCEAN,

BUT HE WAS YOUR ANCHOR.

HE WAS THE ONLY MAN

I EVER ADMIRED.

[ SNIFFLES ]

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

I HEAR:

YOU'RE ON YOUR THIRD BOTTLE.

HAVE YOU MET NATHALIE?

SHE HAS:

THE MOST EXQUISITE HANDS.

RICHARD, STOP THIS.

LET ME HELP.

I KILLED HIM.

I KILLED MY BROTHER.

CAN YOU HELP THAT?

WELL, CAN YOU?!

NO.

SO...RUN ALONG.

GO HOME.

PLAY WITH YOUR JEWELRY.

THERE'S NOTHING

ELIZABETH LIKES MORE

THAN PLAYING:

WITH HER JEWELRY.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I'M TAKING THE PLANE

TO LONDON.

MISS TAYLOR.

HE'S SCREWING

NATHALIE DELON?!

MISS TAYLOR!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

MAY WE SPEAK WITH YOU

A MOMENT?

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

MISS TAYLOR, PLEASE!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

YES, GET ME

ARISTOTLE ONASSIS.

NOW -- YES!

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

Man:

THERE SHE IS. LIZ!

HEY, LIZ!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

SMILE PLEASE, DARLING.

"AN AFFAIR BORN IN BETRAYAL

WILL END IN ASHES."

[ SNIFFLES ]

[ CRYING ]

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

[ SIGHS ]

Elizabeth:

WHAT DID I THINK?

WHAT DID I FEEL?

THE TRUTH IS,

PRACTICALLY NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE FORGE

THAT RICHARD AND I

WERE TOGETHER FOR 12 YEARS.

WE DID OVER 40 FILMS TOGETHER

IN THAT TIME.

RICHARD MORE THAN ME,

BUT...

STILL, I THINK

THAT WE WERE JUST EXHAUSTED.

YOU KNOW,

I THINK WE NEEDED A BREAK.

[ Ringing ]

RICHARD:
Hello?

I JUST GO THE DIVORCE PAPERS.

ARE YOU SURE:

WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING?

Yes.

YES,

I'M AFRAID WE ARE.

[ Crying ]

DID I DESERT YOU?

No.

I was the deserter.

I FROM MYSELF.

WE SHOULD'VE JUST...STOPPED.

LIVED ON A FARM IN WALES,

ON A BOAT -- SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMEWHERE THAT WE DIDN' HAVE TO PERFORM.

THEN MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,

I THINK WE COULD'VE SURVIVED.

DID I EXPECT HIM

TO DATE AGAIN?

OF COURSE.

I DID.

MORE THAN THAT?

[ Voice breaking ] NO.

NO.

THAT BROKE MY HEART.

Elizabeth:
I REALLY DO

LIKE IT HERE, THOUGH.

FRESHEN YOUR DRINK,

DARLING?

THANK YOU.

HONEY,

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT RICHARD?

OH, YES,

DATING A PRINCESS ELIZABETH.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GE AFTER A QUEEN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT DID YOU THINK

HE'D GET ENGAGED SO QUICKLY?

OH, HONEY,

IT'S SO RICHARD.

HE BOUGHT THAT CHEAP RING

FOR THE BEAUTY QUEEN

FROM -- WHAT -- TEXAS,

AND NOW:

PROPOSING TO A PRINCESS?

HE REALLY IS:

DRINKING TOO MUCH.

MM.

ELIZABETH, I'M SO SORRY.

ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, YES, I'VE -- I'VE HAD

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