Liz & Dick Page #6

[ RINGING CONTINUES ]

[ GROANS ]

ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING.

HELLO?

ARE YOU SURE?

THANK YOU.

[ PAN CLATTERING ]

WAKE UP!

WAKE UP, WAKE UP!

WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY!

COME ON, SLEEPYHEADS!

WAKEY, WAKEY!

I HAVE GREAT NEWS,

MY LORDS AND LADIES.

MISS ELIZABETH TAYLOR

AND MR. RICHARD BURTON ARE...

BOTH NOMINATED:

FOR ACADEMY AWARDS!

YAY!

THAT'S FANTASTIC, RICHARD --

TWO YEARS IN A ROW.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

AND I'M ALREADY THINKING

ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO WEAR.

[ LAUGHTER ]

RICHARD.

YOU GO.

I CAN'T --

NOT AFTER LAST TIME.

I JUST, UH...

OH, NO. WE'LL ALL STAY HERE,

THEN, RIGHT?

WE'LL MAKE A NIGHT OF IT.

[ PAN CLATTERING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

MOMMY,

CAN WE DRESS NICELY?

OF COURSE WE CAN,

MY LOVE.

I UNDERSTOOD IT.

I DID.

LET'S FACE IT.

THOSE AWARDS...

FOUR OUT OF FIVE PEOPLE

ARE HUMILIATED.

WHAT WORRIED ME:

WAS THAT RICHARD

WOULDN'T BE THERE

IF HE WON HIS OSCAR.

AND THEN WHEN EVERYONE ON

"VIRGINIA WOOLF" STARTED TO WIN,

IT JUST...

HASKELL WEXLER FOR BES CINEMATOGRAPHER -- DESERVEDLY.

YES, AND SANDY DENNIS

FOR BEST SUPPORTING.

WONDERFUL SANDY.

Woman:

AND THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE.

AND THE WINNER IS...

ELIZABETH TAYLOR...

[ ALL CHEERING ]

AND THEN...

Man:
FOR BEST PERFORMANCE

BY AN ACTOR,

THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE.

AND THE WINNER IS...

PAUL SCOFIELD,

"A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS."

[ CLICK ]

CONGRATULATIONS, ELIZABETH.

NOW YOU HAVE TWO.

BUT NOW:

I NEED TO BE ALONE,

BECAUSE I AM:

A VERY, VERY POOR LOSER.

COME ON, GUYS.

COME ON.

SCOFIELD STAYED:

IN THE THEATER.

SO WHAT?

PROBABLY LIVES IN A DAMP FLA IN EAST LONDON.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, COME ON.

IT'S NOT LIKE

YOU LOST YOUR JOB OR ANY--

HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW

WHAT I LOST?!

I'LL TELL YOU

WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE.

HER.

I WAS WRONG, YOU KNOW.

I THOUGH YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR HER,

BUT SHE'S TOO GOOD

FOR YOU.

SHE'S JUST WON

A BLOODY OSCAR,

AND YOU CAN'T ENJOY IT WITH HER

BECAUSE YOU'RE MOPING.

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M AFRAID

I'M NOT ENOUGH FOR HER?

[ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ]

"ENSEAMED"?

THAT'S NOT A WORD.

RICHARD --

JUST THE MAN WE NEED.

WILL YOU TELL THEM

THAT "ENSEAMED" IS A WORD?

ELIZABETH IS RIGHT.

"ENSEAMED" IS A WORD.

IT MEANS, UM...

"GREASY."

GOOD MORNING, BERNARD.

WHAT BRINGS OUR ESTEEMED

BUSINESS MANAGER TO MEXICO?

GOOD NEWS, HMM?

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS

GO IN FOR A SWIM?

OFF YOU GO.

SO?

I HAVE, UH,

PREPARED SOME STATEMENTS.

YEAH, WELL,

SKIP THE PAPERWORK.

OUT WITH IT, MAN.

GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.

DON'T BE MEAN TO BERNARD.

HE WORKS HARD FOR US.

I DON'T DISPUTE IT.

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN IT IS

GOOD NEWS, HE SENDS A TELEGRAM,

AND WHEN IT'S BAD NEWS,

HE SLINKS IN LIKE AN UNDERTAKER.

BERNARD, IGNORE HIM.

TELL ME.

SINCE RICHARD:

WANTS IT STRAIGHT...

YOU'RE BROKE.

OH, AND HERE I WAS THINKING

IT WAS SOMETHING SERIOUS.

HOW CAN WE BE BROKE?

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

THAT'S...EVERYTHING.

BUT IF RICHARD TAKES

"THE COMEDIANS"...

"THE COMEDIANS"?

WHEN WERE YOU OFFERED THAT ROLE?

I'M TURNING IT DOWN.

RICHARD, THEY OFFERED YOU

BUT IT'S WITH SOPHIA.

[ Chuckling ] OH.

SCREW SOPHIA.

I WILL DO IT.

ALREADY ASKED.

THEY CAN'T AFFORD YOU.

WELL,

I'LL CUT MY FEE IN HALF.

TELL THEM I'LL DO I FOR HALF A MILLION.

WILL WE BE ALL RIGH THEN?

FOR A WHILE.

BUT AFTER TAXES, HOTELS,

UH, TRAVEL, STAFF...

AND WE NEED MORE STAFF

FOR SECURITY.

THE PAPARAZZI:

HAVE FOUND US.

MORE STAFF?

NOW, IF YOU WERE

ANY KIND OF A MANAGER, BERNARD,

YOU'D BE ABLE

TO FIND US SOMEWHERE

WHERE WE'D NEVER

HAD TO PAY ANY TAXES

AND WHERE THE DAMN PHOTOGRAPHERS

WOULD NEVER FIND US.

NOW YOU'RE ASKING

THE IMPOSSIBLE.

THE ONLY PLACE YOU TWO

WILL GET ANY PEACE AND QUIE

IS IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE BLOODY OCEAN.

BERNARD,

YOU ARE A GENIUS.

Richard:
OKAY,

NOW YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES.

[ ALL GASP ]

OUR NEW HOME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, COME ON.

ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD.

MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.

DON'T DROWN.

A BOAT --

LIVE ON A BOAT.

A YACHT, MOTHER.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

YES,

IT'S MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WHO'S THAT?

MY PHOTOGRAPHER.

[ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ]

DAMN AND BLAST IT.

I THOUGHT WE GOT A YACH TO GET AWAY FROM THE PRESS.

BUT HE'S NOT PRESS.

HE'S MY PHOTOGRAPHER.

"MY PHOTOGRAPHER"?

WHAT ARE YOU --

POTENTATE, ROYALTY?

THERE HAVE PROBABLY BEEN

MORE PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN OF YOU

THAN ANYONE ELSE

ON EARTH.

WHY WOULD YOU:

WANT MORE?

BECAUSE:

HIS ARE BEAUTIFUL.

NO.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

HE JUST KNOWS:

HOW TO POINT A CAMERA.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

WILL YOU STOP THAT?!

RICHARD.

TRUST ME --

HE UNDERSTOOD THAT.

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

WHY? SHOULD I BE?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

BECAUSE IF YOU SO MUCH

AS STROKE HIS HAND,

I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU

AGAIN.

SAME GOES FOR YOU.

BIT YOUNG FOR YOU,

ISN'T HE?

STOP IT.

SKINNY, TOO.

YOU'D ALL BUT FLATTEN HIM.

OOH, I'D BE CAREFUL,

RICHARD.

YOU COULD STAND:

TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS.

YES, BUT AT LEAST MINE

DOESN'T ALL POOL IN MY

FINGERS, MISS PUDGY DIGITS.

WHAT?

WHAT?!

BOOPSY.

BOOPSY,

RICHARD WANTS TO PLAY.

[ SIGHS ]

OH, DON'T CRY.

I'M NOT CRYING!

I'M TRYING NOT TO STICK YOU

WITH A KNIFE:

IN YOUR FAT,

BLUBBERY STOMACH.

WELL, KNIFE AWAY!

THROW ME OVERBOARD!

NOW YOU CAN FEEL

MY PUDGY HANDS NOW!

HEY, THESE ARE NO PUDGY HANDS!

THEY ARE FAT,

AND THEY'RE PUDGY!

I LOVE THESE HANDS.

ARE YOU SURE?

DO YOU WAN TO MAKE THEM BEAUTIFUL?

BUT THEY ARE...

BEAUTIFUL.

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM

MORE BEAUTIFUL?

I NEED A RING.

A BIG RING.

Auctioneer:

I HAVE $750,000 ON THE PHONE.

I NOW HAVE $800,000

WITH MR. ONASSIS.

$850,000.

$850,000 ON THE PHONE.

$900,000.

$950,000.

$950,000 ON THE PHONE.

YES.

NOW $1 MILLION

WITH CARTIER, PARIS.

AND 50.

I HAVE $1,050,000

ON THE PHONE.

THE BID STANDS AT $1,050,000

ON THE PHONE.

[ GAVEL BANGS ]

SOLD TO...

...MR. RICHARD BURTON.

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

[ ALL GASP, MURMUR ]

Woman:

OH...MY...GOODNESS.

NOW, THAT IS A RING.

RICHARD HERE TOLD ME

THAT MY HANDS LOOKED FAT,

SO, OF COURSE,

I MADE HIM BUY ME SOMETHING

THAT WOULD MAKE THEM

LOOK SMALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

COME ON.

WE MUST GET A DRINK IN YOU.

[ SIGHS ]

HERE YOU ARE.

DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT LIKE THIS

AROUND HERE ALL THE TIME.

NORMALLY, IT'S JUST, UH,

US AND THE CHILDREN,

WELL, NANNIES AND THE CREW,

AND THERE'S --

THERE'S A COUPLE OF COOKS.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND, OF COURSE,

MY BROTHER, IFOR,

AND BERNARD,

OUR BUSINESS MANAGER.

COME HERE, BERNARD.

I'M TRYING

TO EXPLAIN TO BERNARD

THAT SINCE:

THIS WHOLE YACHT COSTS

ONLY -- WHAT --

$30,000 A YEAR TO RUN,

THINK OF ALL THE MONEY WE SAVE

ON HOTELS AND HOUSES.

PLUS, THERE'S NO TAXES,

YOU SEE.

DON'T TELL ANYBODY,

BUT WE --

WE CAN TAKE THE DOGS

ANYWHERE WE WANT.

CAN'T WE?

WE JUST LEAVE THEM ON THE BOAT.

[ SIGHS ]

TWO BLOODY MARYS.

THANK YOU, JACQUES.

[ COUGHS ]

I'VE ORDERED BREAKFAST.

[ GROANS ]

[ SIGHS ]

DO YOU KNOW:

IT'S DECEMBER?

YOU'RE JOKING.

THE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN

COMPLAINING:

IT'S NO AT ALL CHRISTMASY.

THE CHILDREN:

ARE COMPLAINING?

WELL, WE'D ALL

LIKE TO BE IN THE SNOW.

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