Local Color Page #3

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Don't you like the French soup?

(laughs)

But what really gives it

its flavor is the rat's piss.

(laughs)

[Voiceover] She was

grateful that they had

acknowledged her triumph.

She was temporarily

back on the A team.

[Lil] they dealt

me only five cards.

When I complained, they

all said I was very lucky

and should shut up

because my cards were

much bigger than anyone else's.

Without even looking at

them, I knew they were

all souvenirs from my

recent trip to Europe.

Although I hadn't been

to Europe in 18 years.

The first was a bell

tower, high enough to throw

yourself off or be pushed from.

The second was a door.

I can just imagine who

was waiting behind it.

A window with a balcony.

The window was

closed, thank God.

Then a theater box, heavy

with drapery and guilding.

Someone had been murdered there.

The fifth was a staircase.

(dramatic music)

I had never been to any of

these places, I protested.

All the others began

laughing, oh sure, sure,

you always say that.

[Voiceover] Oh sure,

sure, you always say that.

Come on, make your move.

[Voiceover] Come

on, make your move.

[Lil] I won without

having to show my hand.

I had five of a kind.

I won.

I won.

They let me win.

You awake?

Too tired?

I didn't take her to

the motel, she took me.

Your daughter's a tramp, mister.

If that ain't plain

enough, I can...

[Voiceover] Get

him out of here.

Thanks a lot.

I've been watching

a lot of TV.

I'll be better in a day or two.

You angry, you're

not saying anything.

I'm watching

TV, I'm not angry.

What are you watching?

I don't know, I

tuned it in the middle.

I don't have the papers.

It's with what's her

name, you would know the

one I mean, she used to...

Oh look, now she's dancing.

Oh, I know that movie.

That's the one where she

does the mambo by herself.

You came, I was alone

You were temptation for me.

And she's wearing that

tight black dress, right?

That was in the other

scene, a big party.

She just took it off.

She's wearing a what do

you call it, a peignoir.

That's the one where

her brother's a drunk.

And she's the town

tramp and her brother's

wife is in love with

his best friend.

I didn't see it

from the beginning.

Now her father's

coming up the stairs.

Oh look, he's having a...

He's falling down the

stairs, what's the matter?

Why is he?

He's having a heart

attack 'cause his daughter's

such a slut.

Oh, I see, are you

watching the movie too?

No, I'm talking on

the phone with you.

It's just like our family but

it's the other way around.

Very funny.

[Voiceover] I'm

going to have a baby.

Why do you always

have to start up?

Why don't you just relax

and watch the movie?

Do you want to

watch the movie?

I can call you some other time.

No, no, it's okay, I

can watch it and talk

at the same time.

Uh oh, now he's beating

her up because he thinks

she's having his best

friend's baby, but she's not.

They never even

touched each other.

It's the husband's baby

but he didn't think

he could have children

because he has a

low sperm count.

But he's better now.

Uh oh, I bet she's

going to lose the baby

and it's his fault.

I know.

Later the two men argue

and the drunk pulls

a gun on Rock Hudson.

They struggle over it and

then Dorothy Malone...

That's her name,

I knew you'd know.

Joins in and tries to

take the gun away from

her brother, the gun

goes off, he gets killed.

So of course she knows that

Rock Hudson didn't do it.

What are you eating?

Apple.

Rock Hudson didn't do what?

Well she tries to

blackmail him anyway.

She says if he doesn't

marry her she'll swear

on the witness stand

that he killed him.

But if he marries her, a wife

can't testify against him.

Did you call for

any special reason?

Viv told me you were sick.

I just wanted to

find out how you are.

I'm fine.

I mean, I'm sick but I'm fine.

You need anything?

Fred's been a dear.

He gives me everything I need.

He treats me like an invalid.

Would you rather

watch the movie?

Do you want me to turn it off?

No, I'll call you later.

You sound pissed off.

Why should I be pissed off?

How should I know,

you're always pissed off.

[Voiceover] You've

had a miscarriage.

(dramatic music)

He did this with his hands

and this with his feet.

Nobody knows what the steps are.

Now here, here's where the

nymphs leave the stage.

Now he sees the veil

they left behind.

Pretend your shirt's the veil.

He picks it up and

he looks at it.

Then he goes for the tree.

He lies down on it like this.

What do you mean?

You mean he whacked

off on stage?

It was a big scandal.

They had to change it for

the second performance.

Imagine a foreigner

having sex on stage.

Do you like it?

Sure I like it, I like

the part where he, you know.

But what do I know

about dancing?

I don't know

anything about dance.

That's just it, nobody knows.

It's a lost dance.

Nijinsky was the only

one to ever dance and

the movements were

never written down.

All that's left is descriptions

by people who saw it

and they're all dead.

Why do you want to

figure out a dance that

no one knows anything about?

Doesn't make any sense.

Well this does.

You're always

interested in dead people.

If you want to know what I

think, I think it's morbid.

Fact, another ice age is coming.

Get ready for the glacier.

All the interglacial periods

when the weather in the

temperate zones is mild

like it is now last for

only 10,000 years.

Our time is almost up.

No kidding.

Yes, the winters are

getting colder and longer,

every year a little longer

until every day is winter.

Remind me to get

another pair of earmuffs.

Once the ice starts

moving, it'll come down as

far south as Long

Island and Cincinnati.

Great, then we can pack

up and move to Florida.

I always knew Cincinnati sucked.

Change of pace.

Get up and boogie

Get up and boogie.

I don't want to dance.

I said I don't want to dance.

Cut it out.

I hate it when you act

like a, like a f*ggot.

At least I know who I am.

Who the f*** do you think

you are, sweetheart?

What do you see when

you look in the mirror?

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Okay, who is it?

Huh?

Anyone I know?

You've been avoiding me, you

can't even look me in the eye.

It's none of my business, you

can f*** anyone you want to.

I'm not seeing anyone.

I just don't want any

trash up here, is that clear?

Make sure you go to his place.

Her place.

Get up and boogie.

Yes, I know she likes me.

Why shouldn't she

find me attractive?

There's nothing wrong with me.

So what if she's married

and has a teenage daughter?

Stranger things have happened.

The age thing doesn't bother me.

I like older women.

But I'm a little afraid of her.

She wants too much,

she's too intense.

She's the kind of woman

who will devour you whole

and spit out the bones.

I think I'll be a little

more distant from now on.

Yes, that's it.

Keep her guessing.

Everyone was invited

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