Local Color Page #6

---

Only it says wife

instead of husband.

His and hers.

Must be a chain letter.

Here it is.

It's probably an ad

campaign for a new magazine.

(phone ringing)

I'll get it.

He's so sick.

It's a man, for you.

He didn't even hang

up when I answered.

Both these letters

spell the same word wrong.

Information is

spelled without an R.

Do you think it means anything?

I think it means you should

stop picking up illiterates.

The phone.

I was surprised

when you called.

Didn't we always

hit it off together?

But you were such a

thrill seeker I thought

you'd be on to greener pastures.

Well I haven't seen

you in such a long time,

you're something of

a novelty yourself.

How do you know I'm not

involved with someone?

Am I the jealous type?

I'm broad minded.

My leather bra is

out to the cleaners.

Not to worry.

Do I ever go

anywhere unprepared?

You caught me at

a weird time then.

I'm an old fashioned girl.

You didn't mind.

I only agreed to

it, I didn't like it.

What really turns you on?

F***ing Andrea's husband?

You sleep with

all of her friends?

She doesn't have as many

friends as she should.

You sleep with all

your friends' husbands?

Got black stockings.

Just for you.

I'm not in the mood.

Come on.

It'll be fun.

I'm going to wear my mask.

Out of sight.

Oh great sacrificial

priest, spare this unworthy

maiden's life just this once.

Good.

You ever do this kind

of stuff with Andy?

Are you kidding,

we're married.

How stupid of me.

Marriage is a special place.

You know why I let you do this?

Because it is the perfect

expression without any

of the usual disguises

or subterfuges of the way

men have always abused

and degraded women.

Your elbow, Andy.

My arm.

So this is what you

do with your spare time.

Do you think this is a proper

hobby for a man your age?

There's more.

I've seen lots

of nude men before.

It's nothing new for me.

You were hoping I'd be shocked,

sorry to disappoint you.

Are you going to Aunt

Betty's for Thanksgiving?

She told me she invited you.

If I come I'm

going to bring him.

But he's...

So am I.

Black.

Then we'll need dark

meat and sweet potatoes.

Here.

Like an idiot I came

here trying to be nice.

You don't like my

darkroom technique?

Wait, there's one

I want you to see.

Cute, isn't he?

Gorgeous.

Brian.

We've met on the phone.

Why are you doing

whatever it is you're

trying to do to me?

Why are you trying

to humiliate me?

You love it.

Go on, deny it.

You feel it gives

you power over me.

I never know what

you're talking about.

[Voiceover] Only by

insulting her did he feel

he could get close to her.

For her the repeated

humiliation she had to endure

at his hands made her

feel how desperately he

needed her and her love.

They could no longer

pretend they didn't enjoy

tormenting and being

tormented by each other.

I think you need help.

That old song again?

You are so sick.

When are you going to

straighten out already?

Such a cold fish.

You push everyone away,

you make fun of everything.

And after you've done for me.

Stop playing Camille, that

pathetic wounded animal

tone in your voice.

If I had a gun I'd put

it out of its misery.

You've grown up to be

exactly like your mother.

Oh, not your mother?

You think the world

owes you a living.

You're just a parasite.

Fred always says.

And I hate Fred.

I've always hated Fred

as much as he hates me.

That's not true.

He hates me more

than I hate him.

You distort everything.

You and your insults.

Being crazy doesn't

excuse everything.

Nijinsky had a sister who

was also a dancer, Bronislava.

Not as well known, not

as good, not as famous.

But pretty good.

She was famous too

but not as famous.

She wasn't mediocre,

but he was very great.

Do you understand

what I'm saying?

She was lucky.

She didn't go crazy.

She had more time to

get her act together.

Go.

Class dismissed.

You're hopeless.

What do you want?

What are you talking about?

What do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

What do you want?

Do you want to kiss me?

Do you want me to kiss you?

I'm sorry.

No.

On the lips.

You understand

what you're doing?

It's not going to

snap your mind.

What about you?

It's too late for

simple solutions.

It probably won't be

the least bit of fun.

As long as it's

therapeutic, who cares?

We should have done it

when we were teenagers.

Like the rest of them.

[Voiceover] They fell

asleep in each other's arms

like children who've

exhausted themselves crying.

They were both thankful

for the small reward

instead of the guilt,

which they half hoped for,

but which hadn't materialized.

Do you remember

when we were children

grandmother would

tell us stories?

Remember?

I remember this one day

she told me while she

was braiding her hair.

It took forever to braid.

It was about a princess

who had no head.

She was the most beautiful

princess in the world.

Except that she had no head.

She couldn't eat or

drink or laugh or see.

And she couldn't kiss.

She ruled at court

with her hands.

She gestured with her pale

white fingers whenever

she wanted something.

And with her feet she

tapped out death sentences

and declarations of war.

But one day she was

defeated in battle

by a king who had two heads.

These two heads were

very troublesome because

they kept getting in each

other's way all the time.

Quarreling, arguing,

abusing each other,

always quarreling.

So the court magician

took one of the heads

and put it on the

head of the princess.

And they no longer

quarreled with each other

but were always

kissing each other,

especially now

that she had lips.

Do you think that

she made that up?

It's from a play.

Disappointed?

Nothing has changed, has it?

No crash of thunder.

No lightning bolts

hurled by angry gods.

[Voiceover] It was

impossible for either of them

to imagine calling up

the other to arrange

another rendezvous.

But seriously, are you going

to Betty's for Thanksgiving?

I almost feel like saying

no myself because that

awful Harold and his three

wretched children are coming.

Brian will be home soon.

Fred will be home soon.

Give my love to Fred.

Give my love to Brian.

(dramatic music)

[Voiceover] The price they

paid for their transgression

was the death of

yet another fantasy.

I don't know why you

had to invite them.

We could have gone out.

He's my brother, I hate

it when you talk like that.

Did you have to

invite his girlfriend?

It's his birthday.

Oh, it's his birthday too?

You didn't tell me

you were triplets.

Stay away then,

you won't be missed.

You owe me something.

I'm not going to be

outnumbered in my own house.

I want you to invite Viv.

Those pansies, those

guys, they ought to have

a chance to meet some

good looking girls.

It might give them some ideas.

I'm not going to risk being

skewered like a shish kebab.

You weren't kidding.

You didn't used

to be like this.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes