Local Color Page #5

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Fear of a dozen kinds of

cancer that I know have to

do with the kind of life I live.

We live.

On the other hand, I

should count my blessings.

My children will

never abandon me.

I'll never have to take

care of my aged mother

when she gets that way.

She died so long ago.

The fear that I'll be like

her, since I hardly knew her

and yet fear somehow

because of it I'm not the

right kind of woman, that

something is missing.

No fears of destroying my child.

I've done that already.

Fears of destroying myself.

No, not really.

I just say that.

And of course you,

Debbie, especially you,

especially Debbie both of you.

And you, what are you afraid of?

I don't know.

Same things.

More or less.

[Lil] And the others.

What do you think

they're afraid of?

(toilet flushes)

The toilet's broke.

I'm not the janitor.

You didn't do it, did you?

No.

Then it's okay.

Listen.

Sh*t.

(moaning)

What is it?

Father and his

mistress, his girlfriend.

What a b*tch.

You want to hear us,

it's much clearer.

I'd rather hear it

live and in concert.

Debbie, what the hell are you?

Janet.

Well hello, Janet.

The way you two carry on

like a couple of school kids.

You know you ought

to make it together.

Get it out of your systems.

If I told you we did, you'd

have a stroke, wouldn't you?

I wouldn't believe you.

Well if I said we do?

No.

Why not, how would you know?

You'd say anything

to upset me.

This is the 20th

century, you're lying.

What if I told you

something I'd never told

anyone before, that all

my life I'd been waiting

for her to be this age?

Why do you think I wanted

Rita out of the way?

I spent my whole life

raising her, growing her up

so that she'd be perfect for me.

I've got the perfect

girl every man dreams of,

molded by me to fit my

needs, to think the way

I want her to think, to want

what I want her to want.

You're medieval, you're

disgusting, that's what you are.

For years I've been

dreaming of the day she'd

be this age, the

perfect age for me.

And even if she were the

ugliest girl in the world,

which she's not,

I'd still want her.

Because she's mine in

every way possible.

You drove Rita crazy.

She had to kill herself

just to get away from you.

Yes.

I drove her to it.

Did you ever see the one

where the husband turns

the lights down, up and

down, footsteps on the

ceiling, up and down,

drives the wife bananas.

Well I'm like that, that's me.

Well you won't drive me crazy.

We'll see about that.

Stop frightening her.

She's scared, leave her alone.

Be nice to her.

Take her in your arms and

tell her you love her.

The things you never gave

anyone, you stingy bastard.

Prove to her that all

these years with you

haven't been a waste,

make her happy.

Doesn't she deserve it?

Tell her the rest

is just a bad joke.

(romantic music)

At least grab her tits,

fondle her ass, tell her that

her aging flesh drives

you wild with desire.

Screw her, let her

fend for herself.

Where do I fit into all this?

Fit, what do you mean?

Maybe I just made it all up

to put you in your place.

Which is where,

here, with you and her?

What am I, the chaperone?

Cover?

She likes me.

Oh no, you're right.

Not likes me, tolerates me.

It's not much but

it's a beginning.

You know, you make me laugh.

You're all the same

with that social worker

bullshit wanting to

change the world.

So you want to wrestle with

the devil for her soul,

is that it?

I just want to live

some kind of life.

Where you are we

all are in a way.

I mean a happy one.

Well that's another story.

Look, Lil, I don't want

you f***ing around with her

trying to turn her against me.

Not that you could,

because she's mine.

You know, I don't need you

as much as you think I do.

I never thought you did.

This is the moment.

Tell her now.

Tell her you can't

live without her.

Maybe I don't love you the

way you want me to, Lil.

Maybe it's not like

it is in the movies.

I don't know, in

some way I need you.

I know it's not

everything you hoped for.

Maybe you're right.

No one should settle

for half measures.

But life isn't long

enough to insist on

perfect relationships.

You're telling me.

What do you want from me?

Whatever you've got to give.

Whatever I can get.

You bluebeard.

You won't get me to make

a false declaration of love.

I mean it when I'm saying

it and forget what it

felt like a second later.

I need you.

I want you to stay with me.

I never said that much to

any woman before, not even...

Debbie?

She's just a kid, my wife.

No wonder she killed herself.

Killed herself, she ran

off with my best friend.

How do you think that makes

me feel, telling a story

like that, it makes me

look like a schmuck.

I'll stay.

For Debbie's sake, poor thing.

You know the

trouble with you, Lil?

You have no sense of humor.

You can never tell when

I'm serious or when

I'm pulling your leg.

There was no doubt about it.

With that son of a

b*tch I could never tell

whether I was coming or going.

[Voiceover] They never

discussed it again.

There were times when

Lil was sure that

she had dreamed the whole thing.

Maybe invented it

all to unhinge her.

Alvin's story, if it were

true, no longer filled her

with revulsion and began to

seem like just another story.

The sad things that people

do with their lives.

The cruel things

they do to others.

Nor did she shed any unasked

for tears over Debbie's fate

or whatever it's

called these days.

She told herself.

[Lil] All of us are

twisted into strange shapes

by the world, we're buffeted

about by 1,000 unseen

and unnamable pressures,

society, family, economics.

We all suffer at the hands of

those who are more powerful.

In some strange way

she's fortunate.

It's rare to be able to

point an accusing finger

at one identifiable source

of oppression and say,

you did it to me, you bastard.

[Voiceover] Alvin had

indeed done it to Debbie,

the bastard.

But I dropped all

thoughts of playing knight

in shining armor to

damsel in distress.

Besides, if there was

anyone who acted as if she

weren't in the least bit

of trouble, it was Debbie.

If she needs saving, she

sure doesn't look like

she's hollering for help.

I on the other hand, I

needed someone to talk to.

Just to talk, a human voice.

Hello?

[Andrew] Hello?

Brian?

[Andrew] Who's calling?

Who is this?

A friend of his.

[Andrew] Brian,

it's for you, a woman.

She wouldn't tell me her name.

I didn't feel prepared

to deal with any more

deceptions than I

absolutely had to.

Whatever was going on, I

didn't want to know about it.

And I definitely did

not want to hear about

mountains and valleys.

What was in a blue envelope?

This came in the mail, they

both came at the same time.

I thought you might

to know your husband

is having an affair

with another woman.

Use this information

as you see fit.

This is not a prank,

a well wisher.

Yeah, I got the same one.

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