Local Hero Page #2

I want it back.

No, that's not why I called...

No, that's not true!

Trudi, I don't want

to argue with you.

Look, I'm not calling you a thief.

Maybe you are a kleptomaniac.

You think you ought

to see a doctor?

You're the pervert!

Just piss up a rope, all right?

'Our speed over the ocean

is 740 miles per hour.

'If you'd like

to adjust your watches,

'the time in Britain is 11:47

'and our estimated arrival

is at 1:
45 local time.

'Shortly before our descent,

'I'll give you more information

on the weather in Britain.'

'British Caledonian. Would

passengers arrived from London

'and connecting with

Thistle and Ninian fields

'please proceed now to the helicopter

check-in desk at gate four.'

I'm Macintyre,

Knox Oil and Gas, Houston. Are you...

Oldsen, Knox Oil and Gas, Aberdeen.

I didn't want to make a fuss.

I know how delicate this is.

You have a car to take me

to the laboratory?

Yes.

- Well, let's go.

- Can I give you a wee hand?

'Flight BA 40726 to Orkney

is now available for check-in.'

Could you close that door?

This is a controlled environment.

- Um, Dr Geddes, Mr Watt, this is...

- Macintyre. Houston.

Welcome to our little world.

You've come to see the bay, eh?

Marina, this is Mr Macintyre

and Mr, eh...

Oldsen, Danny. Hello.

The sensor on 421's gone haywire.

I better replace it.

- She's got magnificent lungs.

- Oh, yes. A great asset.

Five oceanography degrees

and a talented programmer.

I'll get rid of her.

She's not in on this Ferness thing.

Actually, she's better in the field.

Here's the dud.

Um, you can take

some lunch now, Marina.

Sure.

I'll show you the site models,

shall I?

You'll see what you're

in the market for.

This is a bay in a million.

The silt's deep enough

to take the foundation piles.

This harbour here is a natural for

blasting in the underground tanks.

Here. Hold Ferness

a minute, would you?

Plus, the debris rock will be used

to fill in the other beach

for the refinery.

With 12 more miles of coastline,

this could become the petro-chemical

capital of the free world.

Six months' blasting,

two years' construction.

It'll last 1,000 years. Forever!

It'll even survive the next ice age.

We've proved that, you know.

We've simulated 10,000 years

of glaciation over the whole bay.

We don't need that ice age.

We can divert the Gulf Stream

and unfreeze the Arctic Circle.

He proved it, but they won't listen.

They want to freeze.

Thank you, Norman,

there was no need to bring that up.

- Will, um, Marina be back?

- No, not for a while yet.

We should head north soon.

We'll see you

when we get back, maybe.

No. Take it. Keep it.

Dream large. Dream large!

- What you thinking about?

- Girls.

Naked girls.

Me, too.

- In a fish tank.

- Yeah.

- What's up?

- I think we hit something.

It got misty all of a sudden

and I think we hit something.

Sh*t! I hate hitting things!

- It's just kind of stunned.

- Maybe a broken leg.

- Should we put it out of its misery?

- What?

Hit it with something hard?

You did that with an automobile.

Put it in the car.

Well, we can't drive in this stuff.

Where are we?

The last road sign was in Gaelic.

It's not one of my languages.

You speak languages?

French, Italian, Spanish.

Greek, Turkish, Russian, Swedish,

German, Japanese, Dutch, and Polish.

I have a facility with languages.

I've got some chocolate and some gum.

- What have you got?

- Nothing.

Niente.

- Nada, rien...

- OK, OK.

This is my car.

Porsche 930.

Turbo-charged.

A car's important.

I got migraine headaches

driving a Chevy.

A car like this won't let you down.

Conference time in Houston.

I'll give them a call tomorrow.

Good night.

Yeah.

Could we

have the lights off?

Sure, sure.

- Morning.

- Hello.

- Some place, huh?

- Yeah.

I think I'll call him Harry.

No. Her name's Trudi.

I'm hungry.

I'll drive.

Whole lot of scenery, though.

What is it?

Sorry to trouble you so early.

We'd like to check in

and maybe eat something.

Breakfast isn't till eight.

Seven in the fishing season.

It's not the fishing season.

Could we check in?

We've been on the road all night.

We have an injured rabbit also.

It's never locked.

Passing through?

We might stay a few days.

Make yourself some toast and coffee.

We'll take care of formalities later.

I have to go back upstairs.

There's lettuce for the rabbit.

Nice people, huh?

Yeah, and they speak English.

Do you think

they're at it up there?

No.

"We have an injured rabbit."

Think it's them?

Sure. 100% sure.

Christmas might be early this year.

What do you want for Christmas?

Better get that new mattress.

Hang on!

Yeah?

Would you have an adapter?

I have to charge my briefcase.

The lock is electric.

Would you have an adapter?

Er, do you need it right away?

Whenever.

Leave it with me

and I'll sort something out.

- I'll hold on to it.

- OK, fine.

Thanks.

- Everything OK, gents?

- Very nice.

We only do hot lunch every other day.

We have to talk to Mr "Urk-u-hart,"

an accountant.

He has an office right next door.

He'll be there in about 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Delicious.

Delicious.

Come in!

Hello again. I'm Gordon Urquhart.

We tend to double up on jobs here.

I'm a taxi driver, too. Sit down.

What can I do for you?

I represent

Knox Oil and Gas, Mr "Og-hart".

- Gordon.

- Gordon.

I believe my people

let you know we'd be calling.

That's right. So...what's up?

We're in the way of acquiring

some real estate.

We wanted your help

in co-ordinating our work.

What do you want to buy?

I won't be coy.

We want the whole place.

We want to buy everything from the

cliffs to the bay and a mile inland.

That's all.

Well, you're talking about

15...maybe 20 properties.

You're talking about families,

businesses, farms.

You're talking about a lot of money.

We don't have to go

into figures right now.

I have a breakdown

on the properties.

I think it's a matter

of making a collective deal.

Why don't you get to know the place.

Take a day or so...I'll let you know.

How about that?

OK, if you think

it'll take that long.

- The church, too?

- Yes.

The Church has definite views

about property.

See the beach, relax.

- Then you'll work out some numbers?

- I'll do my best.

Cheerio.

Take it away, Andrew.

Oh, boy, are we going to be rich!

We're going to sell this hotel...

# Oh, oh, oh, oh...

# Oh, I know you #

# Oh, Mr Macintyre,

I know you, too #

Stella!

Thank you.

- Sorry.

- That's all right.

Oh...

What do you make of Urquhart, then?

He smells the money.

- Nice beach this, isn't it?

- Yeah.

We should come here

when we have to discuss business.

The hotel's too public.

Right.

That's where the jetty will be,

and the storage tanks over here,

all the way up.

Looks just like the model,

doesn't it?

- Well, more expensive.

- Oh, it's some business.

It's the only business.

Could you imagine

a world without oil?

No automobiles.

- No heat.

- And polish.

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