Loco Love

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

Randy, did you see anything?

No, brother, but they've got to be

around here somewhere.

Hey!

OFFICER:
Hey! Over here!

MEN:
Run! Come on!

OFFICER:
They are over here!

Run!

Stop right there!

OFFICER:
Stop! Stop!

Stop right there!

Gotcha!

(CELLPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

WOMAN:
Marisol.

Yes, hi, Mom. How are you?

Genaro is already here.

Okay.

I'm on my way.

Hi, Don Mario.

Hi, Mari.

Do you want some lemonade?

No.

My cousin finally came back

from Mexico. So I'm gonna go see him.

Go! Hurry up!

See you later. Bye!

The coyote says

that if anybody is lost...

(MARISOL SCREAMS) Genaro, welcome!

Marisol!

Careful, girl!

Girl.

The cousin is here!

GENARO:
She's taller than me.

MARISOL:
Hi, Kiko!

I finally have my cousin here!

I'm ready for anything.

Look at you!

I'm here to work.

(GIRLS CHEERING ON)

(PLAYER CHEERING ON)

Now!

Set, hut!

(YELLING)

Gavin, I love you!

PLAYER:
Hut, hut!

Sorry. F***.

BOY:
P*ssy!

Good sh*t, man.

Good sh*t.

That's my man!

Good catch.

You the man, Spot.

Good job, good job.

Damn.

Nice catch, nice catch.

Good throw, good throw.

Atta boy.

That was amazing, Gav.

Thank you.

(BOYS OOHING)

Chris!

Get back, f***ing practice.

Shut up!

Gosh, she is so hot.

God damn, bro.

Watch yourself, man.

Would you consider

having a threesome with me?

No!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Are you hungry, Geno?

MARISOL:
No, Mom.

I'm sure the pollero took him

to the desert restaurant.

Good one, sis.

I thought I wouldn't make it.

Relax, son, don't worry.

The important thing is

you're here with us.

You're gonna love Arizona.

There are a lot of Mexicans here.

And you have to speak in English.

Right, sis?

Of course there are a lot

of Mexicans here. This was Mexico first.

Speak in Spanish!

He'll learn English later.

Why not?

He can even go to the university

to study a master's degree.

Hurry up so I can show you

the American wonder.

MOTHER:
Can't you see how he looks, girl?

But I want to go look around.

No, first finish that dish

and then I'll give you more

because you need energy,

right, honey?

Yes, son, you have to rest.

You'll work hard later.

That's why I came, right?

We got you some gringo clothes,

but I think they suck.

So I'll go with you

to get something cooler later.

Kiko!

KIKO:
What?

In Spanish.

What did he say?

Nothing, son.

Eat up, eat up.

(RAP MUSIC PLAYS IN CAR)

(KIKO SPEAKING INDISTINCT)

MARISOL:
Kiko, tame yourself, dude.

KIKO:
You know, I can kill

two birds with one stone.

Well, we are not gonna be killing

birds today.

"I got something for you."

"What is it?"

"It's a bullfrog.

I poked some holes

in its back..."

Do you want to change the music

or do you like it?

Boy! Here, hang on a second.

That's good. I like that one.

(LAUGHING)

(POLICE SIREN)

Oh, sh*t.

Now what?

MARISOL:
Ramn, pull the car over.

RAMN:
I'm pulling over. I'm going.

Don't be an a**hole.

I didn't do sh*t.

Chill out, be cool...

Don't do anything stupid,

we have Genaro with us.

You're gonna be okay, cousin.

Don't worry.

No papers?

No problem, man.

I have no papers either.

Just don't say anything stupid, okay?

Be cool.

What's the problem?

Turn off your radio, please.

Why are you stopping me?

License and registration.

Come on.

You all legal?

(SCOFFS)

What about you?

Do you work at the border?

We are all American, officer.

Just like you.

Okay, here.

Stay out of trouble.

Be careful. Don't get in trouble.

My God.

Mexican hunting Mexican.

Those are the worst.

(LAUGHING)

You got scared, right?

Relax, cousin.

You're safe with us.

GIRL:
I'd die for a water...

BOY:
Want some water?

(EVERYBODY CHEERING)

Let's f***in' do it.

I want some water...

I wanna go to the rollerblading...

Thank you!

BOY:
Okay.

We'll ride

every freaking rollercoaster.

Backwards.

I'm not going.

With my pants off!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Alright. I'm getting down.

Stop being so macho.

Yeah, yeah! Let's do that!

Li!

(WHISTLING)

Hi, how are you?

Hi.

Let's go.

Come on.

MARISOL:
Tet!

Tet!

Come here, girl!

It's great to see you, sugar!

KIKO:
Hey, Tet.

Tet, I want you

to meet Genaro. Genaro, Tet.

GENARO:
What's up? Hi.

This is my girlfriend, Tet.

Let's go, come on.

RAMN:
Let's go.

MARISOL:
He is cute, right?

TET:
He is really cute.

Why didn't you tell me

you had a hot cousin?

Ooh!

Hey, double or nothing, yo.

Alright.

If I hit this one,

you owe me lunch, b*tch.

(CLANKING)

Even with my eyes closed, man.

(CLANKING)

Almost crying, man.

I almost cry, okay?

Alright, Amber, pick a prize.

As if you could get it for me, Luke.

Are you doubting me?

How much, man?

Five bucks.

I want the fat chick.

You want the fat chick? Okay.

(EMPLOYEE INDISTINCT)

LUKE:
Alright, thank you.

LUKE:
Yeah.

EMPLOYEE:
There you go.

Luke, can we get out of here?

There are some beaners beside us.

What? No, f*** them...

I don't want to smell them.

Do you like the chick?

GAVIN:
Come on. F*** it...

Yeah!

Whoo!

LUKE:
This is how we know you!

F*** that.

This one. Hit this one.

Ooh!

You, bro.

Come on.

Which one?

F*** off.

EMPLOYEE:
Come on, one more.

Okay, that's it, guys.

(AMBER CHEERS ON)

You won your prizes.

You got your chicken.

Well done.

Yeah, man!

You want the chubby chick, right?

Let me get that for you.

AMBER:
You're good.

That's the one.

EMPLOYEE:
Here it is.

LUKE:
That's for her.

AMBER:
Hey, give it back.

You can take anything else.

RAMN:
Have a good night.

Hey, f***ing spic.

What the f*** did you just call me?

EMPLOYEE:
No need to do this, okay?

Give it back, you stupid spic.

F***ing spic, huh?

Please, calm down. There's no need...

How about this, I'll make a deal.

You show me your titties

and I'll give 'em to you.

Stop!

Show me your titties,

and I'll give it back.

Calm down, calm down!

(OVERLAPPING YELLING)

EMPLOYEE:
You are fighting

over a chick, man.

This motherf***er stole

your sister's prize, man.

Let my boys gang bang your girl.

You better f***ing watch your mouth!

LUKE:
Hey, hey, hey!

GAVIN:
Come on!

LUKE:
Stop it.

RAMN:
F***ing Justin Bieber.

F*** you!

F*** you!

F*** you, man!

Security! Security!

Just f***ing leave! Okay?

(OVERLAPPING YELLING)

OFFICER:
Break it up, okay?

GAVIN:
Come on, beaner!

You want your chicken, b*tch?

Calm down, okay?

Here's your chicken, motherf***er.

GAVIN:
F*** off, spics.

RAMN:
I'll be back for you, b*tch!

F*** you!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Stupid spics, they're all criminals.

RAMN:
Suck my dick, b*tch!

(RAMN LAUGHING)

Are you alright?

Yeah.

MARISOL:
I told you.

Shame on you if you break his heart.

Yeah, I'm not gonna marry him.

But I will f*** him

to welcome him to America.

What about you?

Are you going to do it with Ramn?

Do what?

I told you.

I haven't found the right one.

Ramn is really hot, girl.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

CHRIS:
Come on, Gav.

Sorry. Luke?

No. I don't think I'm gonna go.

Luke, what?

GAVIN:
I don't like rollercoasters.

You are the best player on the

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes