Lolita Page #2

Synopsis: Urbane professor Humbert Humbert (Jeremy Irons) marries a New England widow (Melanie Griffith) to be near her nymphet daughter.
Genre: Drama, Romance
Production: Samuel Goldwyn Company
  2 wins & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
46
Rotten Tomatoes:
67%
R
Year:
1997
137 min
18,154 Views


(phone ringing)

Dolores:

It's for me!

Hello? No, I'm sorry, she's busy.

Charlotte:

I hope you'll forgive her bad manners.

(music playing)

Charlotte:

Now what?!

Dolores:

Look, it's my modern dance creation!

Charlotte:

Dolores Haze, turn that music down!

She's an absolute pest...

just slap her hard if she interferes with your meditations.

Psst...

Hum...

do you know that I have one most ambitious dream?

To get ahold of a real trained maid...

like that German girl that the Talbots spoke of?

And have her live in the house.

Humbert:

No room.

Charlotte:

Oh, cherie, cherie...

you underestimate the possibilities of our humble household.

We would put her in Lo's room.

I intended to turn that hole into a guest room anyway.

Humbert:

Where would Lo sleep?

Charlotte:

Little Lo, I'm afraid, does not enter the picture at all...

little Lo goes straight from camp to a good boarding school...

with strict discipline and some sound religious training.

Dolores:

I won't go!

Charlotte:

I want all of these name tags sewn on your clothes by tomorrow.

Dolores:

I don't want to go.

Charlotte:

I don't believe I asked your opinion, Dolores!

Dolores:

I don't wanna go, and you can't make me.

Charlotte:

Look, we all think it's a good idea...

Professor Humbert thinks it's a good idea...

I think it's a good idea, and you are going!!

Dolores:

Double-crosser!

Humbert:

Ow!

Charlotte:

I asked you to put that suitcase in the car an hour ago...

Louise, thank you so much for helping the poor child.

Goddamnit! Dolores, I told you to put this lunch basket in the back seat!

Didn't I?

Dolores:

Why do you tell me to do everything?

Charlotte:

Louise, Brussels sprouts and meat loaf for dinner.

Louise:

All right, drive careful.

Charlotte:

Thank you. Let's go.

Louise:

(To Dolores)Bye, my baby, you be good.

Dolores:

Bye, Louise.

I'll miss you...

Charlotte:

Ahhhgh!

Dolores, let's go!

Louise:

You be sweet, my baby.

Charlotte:

Speed it up.

Get in the car!

Now what?

(Dolores runs back into house and upstairs to Humbert, she embraces then kisses him and leaves)

Charlotte:

That child!

Louise, maybe tenderloin.

Louise:

That'd be good.

Charlotte:

I'm waiting!

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

not to make me wait in the car.

If you weren't going to camp, I would ground you.

Louise:

Mr. Humble!

These damn stairs gonna be the death of me...

Mr. Humble!

Mr. Humble!

Mr. Humble?

I have something for you.

Humbert:

Oh, yes.

Louise:

I'm leaving, but... I'll be back later.

What the hell you doin' in there?

Charlotte:

"This is a confession. I love you.

I'm a passionate and lonely woman, and you are the love of my life.

Now you know, so please destroy this letter and go.

I shall return by dinner time and you must be gone by then."

"You see, cherie, if I found you at home...

the fact of your remaining would mean only one thing...

that you want me as much as I do you...

as a lifelong mate.

And that you are ready to link up your life with mine forever and ever...

and be a father to my little girl."

Humbert:

Two weeks later we were married in a simple ceremony.

Big Haze made sure Little Haze was not in attendance.

Charlotte:

Mmm, this is bliss. This is heaven on earth, isn't it, Hum?

Humbert:

Hmm.

Charlotte:

Are you working on your book?

Humbert:

Yes.

Charlotte:

Secret drawer... what's in there?

Humbert:

Locked-up love letters.

Charlotte:

Where's the key?

Humbert:

Hidden.

During the six weeks we'd been married...

I successfully avoided most of my husbandly duties.

Through July I'd been offering Charlotte sleeping tablets...

which she gobbled down happily; she was a great taker of pills.

Radio:

"I'm in the mood for love..."

Humbert:

The last dose I had tried had knocked her out for four hours.

But that is not enough to guarantee me an undisturbed night.

Doctor:

Hum...

Humbert:

At last.

I think I must be immune.

What would you give me if you wanted to...

to knock out... say... a cow?

Just, just for... seven or eight hours.

So that...

you know, "the cow"...

would stay asleep?

Even if you were tossing and turning next to it?

Doctor:

Well...

why don't you... try these?

They're new.

My wife takes them, and...

I don't hear a peep out of her all night long.

Humbert:

Sounds like just the thing.

I'm home.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Charlotte:

"The Haze woman."

"The fat cow"?

"The obnoxious Mama"?

Well, the "old, stupid Haze woman" is no longer your dupe.

Humbert:

Charlotte...

Charlotte:

You're a monster.

You're a despicable, criminal monster.

Humbert:

Now...

Charlotte:

If you come near me, I'll scream out the window.

Get away from me! I'm leaving tonight.

You can keep this house, I don't care...

but you will never see that miserable brat ever again.

Now, get out of my sight!

Humbert:

Charlotte, you mustn't... do that... you mustn't ruin our lives.

That's... just a...

just a fragment of a novel I'm writing.

I used your name in those just for convenience.

I'll get us a drink.

Nice stiff drink, clear both our heads.

(phone rings)

Humbert:

Charlotte, I've made us a nice stiff drink.

Yes?

That's ridiculous.

There's a man on the phone saying you've been killed, Charlotte.

Charlotte?

I'm sorry...

(Goes outside, Charlotte lying dead on road)

Police Man:

Stand back, please.

Humbert:

Where's my wife?

Police Man:

Are you Mr. Humbert?

Humbert:

I am.

Driver:

She ran right in front of me.

I didn't even see her.

Sir?

Coroner:

I'm sorry, sir. Is this Mrs. Humbert?

Sir... is this Mrs. Humbert?

Humbert:

Oh, God.

Oh, God... oh, God.

Young Girl:

She was walking to the mailbox.

She was going to mail these letters.

I'm sorry.

Humbert:

Thank you.

Coroner:

Going... to lie down, officer. Would that be all right?

Police Man:

You go right ahead.

Humbert:

I'll just be across in the house...

(dial tone)

Humbert:

Is that the Enchanted Hunters Hotel?

Yes, this is Mr. Humbert.

Tomorrow night. Just the one night, please.

Yes, a room with twin beds.

For two... well, one and a half people, really...

it's just for me and my...

my short... my small daughter.

Camp Mistress:

She should be here any minute.

I sent Charlie for her, over at the barn.

Humbert:

Who's Charlie?

Come on, come on...

Camp Mistress:

It's such a pleasure to watch our young people make friends.

Humbert:

So, who is this Charlie?

Camp Mistress:

Here she is.

Dolores:

Hi, Dad.

(sings)”Mum and Hum, Hum and Mum..."

"Hum and Mum"... How's Mum?

Humbert:

Well, the doctors aren't quite sure...

It's something abdominal.

Dolores:

Abominable?

Humbert:

Abdominal.

She's in a special hospital in Lepingville.

So, I thought... we’d...

go over to Briceland...

spend the night, and... visit the hospital tomorrow...

or the next day.

So, did you have a good time at camp?

Dolores:

Um-hmm.

Humbert:

You know, I missed you.

I missed you a lot.

Dolores:

Well, I didn't miss you.

In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you.

But so what, 'cause you don't care about me anymore anyway.

Humbert:

Why do you think I don't care about you?

Dolores:

Well, you haven't kissed me yet, have you?

Humbert:

I'm sorry, officer...

Officer:

See a blue sedan...

same make as yours, they might have passed you back at the turn?

Humbert:

Oof... blue sedan... no, I don't think we...

Dolores:

We didn't see a blue sedan.

No, I don't think we did.

Are you sure it was blue?

Might have seen one that was more purple.

Or maybe it was more red.

Officer:

All right, all right, okay. Thank you.

Humbert:

Thank you.

Dolores:

Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Officer:

Welcome, sir.

Humbert:

Thank you.

The bag's in the back.

Dolores:

Wow, looks swank.

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes

Adrian Lyne

Adrian Lyne is an English film director, writer, and producer. Having began his career directing television commercials, he is known for directing films that focus on sexually charged stories and characters, and often uses stylized light. more…

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Submitted on January 22, 2018

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