Lonesome Jim Page #3

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On that?

I bought it with one of your

checks. Whaddya think?

It's great.

You drive. I'm tripping

my head off right now.

What the f*** was that about?

Dunno.

Sally has been arrested for using the

company's Fed Ex account to ship drugs

They have proof of her signature on

over a dozen packages sent from here

Are you kidding?

No I am not kidding does

it sound like I am kidding?

Maybe?

Well, I'm not. Now listen,

I'm going down there to explain to

these peckerheads that

they got the wrong person.

What I need you to do is cover

for your mom and me while I'm gone.

Sure, sure.

No problem, Donny.

If anyone asks what's going on,

just play dumb.

So, who do you think did this?

You.

Me? I can't believe you'd think

that your own...

Cut the bullshit, Evil.

I know it was you.

All right, you got me.

How could you be such an idiot?

I wrapped everyone of those

packages in foil,

and then I double

plastic bagged them,

and then I'd put a little Big League

Chew in there too, Grape...

They are taking

my mom to PRISON, Evil.

I understand that.

But you're not going to rat

out your Uncle Stace now, are you?

You think I'd let my mother stay

locked-up for you?

I'd be a little nervous to narc-out

a guy with no money

after you'd just opened

a four thousand dollar account.

You f***er.

Just be careful when you point a

finger at someone else

you are pointing three at

yourself and a thumb to the sky.

What's that mean?

That means, is your piss clean?

What are you doing here?

Mom brought me.

What is your mom doing here?

I didn't know that.

There's a lot people don't know

about our Central Intelligence Agency.

Sounds so exciting.

It exciting and it's the type of work

you can't help

taking home with you, either.

Oh. Hey. Aren't you

home a little early?

Something happened at work.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry, what exactly

are you doing here?

I thought I'd help

your brother get situated.

Did the hospital send you?

No.

Hey, I'm doing you a favor.

Oh, yeah, I can see what a favor

you're doing.

Hey, you like basketball?

No.

Ever played before?

No.

Want to?

Okay. Everybody, this is Ben. Ben

this is Rachel, Sarah and...

the rest of the team.

Now, why don't you all

grab a ball and start practicing?

It's one of my favorites.

Well, thanks so much, Sweetie. Mom

is so happy you came down to visit.

So, what is this book about?

An impotent man's futile love.

Oh... great. Thanks so much,

Sweetheart.

So, how is it in here?

Oh, it's not so bad.

The women are all very talkative.

I'm sorry about this, Mom.

Oh Honey, It's not your fault.

The police put a

freeze on our business,

they figured that it was

a drug front.

I can't even get into my own company

they got padlocks on the doors.

Your kidding.

There's nothing I can do.

A girl's here to see you.

Said she's a nurse.

Brought a little kid with her.

He's sitting right next to you, dad.

His name's Ben.

Oh. Hi, Ben.

Hello.

You want to get me another one of

these from the fridge, buddy.

Okay.

Hi.

Don't you work anymore?

It's my day off.

My father and brother are both in

the house and Ben is just downstairs.

I didn't come for that.

Well why?

I don't know Jim,

I like to help people.

Come in.

Oh. You.

Evil.

This is Stacy.

Stacy.

Yeah?

Evil, I have to talk to you.

You wanna get in on this I still

got a half hour?

The police have seized

my parents' business, Evil.

Damn, man. That's too much.

That's... What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

Common there's not a jury in the

world that's going to believe that

that woman is selling drugs.

They will believe a guy like me does.

You do, Evil.

See.

There's only one thing to do here,

Evil. And you know what it is.

What? Confess and go to jail and

man-rape for the next five years?

You make your own choices.

Look there's three thousand dollars

left in that account.

That'll get you pretty far from here

No, I'm not going to

sell my family out.

Look, I'm family too.

I can't believe you.

Hold on shithead.

That money is in your name

and if you don't give it back to me

then it's like you already accepted it.

Make your own choices.

Jim Hey.

What?

It's full.

What's full?

Jesus Christ, man. What don't you

get your nurse do this?

I couldn't ask her to do that.

That's disgusting.

Well, what do you

want me to do with it?

Clean it.

F*** that.

I need something to pee in.

Okay. Uhhh. Just do

what you want today.

I don't know what to tell you.

What kind of coach are you?

Oh. Hey.

Your team's not even playing

basketball.

Whatever.

You must not think much of your

nieces then. Or Ben.

Or any of those kids out there.

You must not

think much of me, either, I guess.

Oh, I do. I think you're all great.

What?

You think I'm great?

Well, sure.

I think you're great.

There are so many fun

and cheery people in the world.

Don't you think you'd be

better off with one of them?

Someone more like yourself?

You think I'm fun and cheery?

Of course you are.

You just can't stop

complimenting me, can you?

You're missing my point.

No, I'm not.

I'm getting it very clearly.

You want to come in?

It's okay. I don't mind.

No. I think I'lljust

say good bye here.

Okay.

Bye, Ben.

Bye.

Bye, Anika.

Good night, Jim.

You can kiss if you want.

I don't care.

You're kind of apathetic for such a

little guy, aren't you, Ben?

Yeah.

Good night, you two.

Mom, you're home.

Yup.

How?

Something called bail. One of the

girls in prison told me about it.

Apparently your father never

realized it was an option.

I called a very nice

bondsman in Kendalville

who put up the money for me.

That's great.

Oh, honey don't touch that.

It's for Kiki.

Who's Kiki?

She's the con that gave me the

number for the bondsman.

I'm going to bring

cobbler to her and all of girls

I made friends with at County.

All those ladies were so nice to me.

It's hard to believe

they're criminals.

Have you talked to Tim?

Oh. Yeah. Same old Tim.

I need a fork.

My Fork!

Jimmy. Jim. Yoo-hoo. Jimmy.

Wake up. You have visitors.

Who?

Get your ass up, Jim.

It's four o' clock.

Sorry to say ass in front of you,

Mrs. Roush.

Oh, no. It worked.

Hi, Jimmy.

Hi, Mom.

You have a nice nap?

Yeah.

Your little friend, Ben, is helping

me make dinner downstairs.

Oh. Ben's here?

We're making goulash.

Jim's my pretty boy.

I brought you something.

What?

Don't get too excited, it's not much.

What is it?

A smile, for poor old Hemingway.

I don't know.

It doesn't look right to me.

That's because you're used to

seeing it the other way.

The other way is true to life.

The other way is depressing.

Like I said...

Oh, Jim.

You smell nice.

Thanks.

I like you a lot, Anika.

I like you a lot, too. So does Ben.

He does?

Oh my God, he totally looks up to you.

Oh no.

It's true.

Ben shouldn't look up to me.

Sure he should.

No he shouldn't.

Why?

I think I might of caused my

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