Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie, The

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[BUGS READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]

Noble Knights of the Round Table...

[ARTHUR CLEARS THROAT]

...ever since the accursed Black Knight

captured our singing sword...

...evil times hath befallen us.

[CLEARS THROAT]

One of ye knights

must recover the singing sword.

The Black Knight

has a fire-breathing dragon.

But- But- But-

But the Black Knight is invincible.

Odds bodkins.

Hath the Knights of the Round Table

turned chicken?

[CLUCKlNG]

[LAUGHlNG]

Only a fool would go after

the singing sword.

A good idea, fool.

Wha-?

Unless you bring back the singing sword,

you will be put to the rack...

...burned at the stake and beheaded.

Be- Be- Beheaded?

[LAUGHlNG]

[SOBBlNG]

[SNORlNG]

[SNORlNG]

[SNEEZlNG]

You crazy, idiot, bedraggled dragon.

I warned you

about letting your fire get low.

Now you caught cold.

[SNORlNG]

So this is the singing sword.

Big deal.

I wonder why they call it

the singing sword.

[SWORD SlNGlNG]

BLACK KNlGHT:

Drop that sword, varmint.

quick, the singing sword's been stolen.

Wake up, fire-breathing lizard.

Stop breathing on me, you idiot.

Heh-heh. That was simple.

[YELLlNG]

Whoa, dragon, whoa.

Whoa!

Stupid dragon.

How's the water, doc?

Open that bridge, varmint!

Open it, I say!

Close it! Close it! Close it up again!

Okay, rabbit,

you forced me to use force.

Hyah! Hyah, dragon! Hyah, dragon!

Hyah, dragon, hyah!

Prepare yourself, rabbit!

I'm a-coming over the wall!

[THUD]

[SPLASH]

You'll pay for this, varmint.

Now, let's see if I remember.

Head down, left arm stiff.

[SNEEZES]

Ow!

You idiot.

[SNEEZES]

[GASPlNG]

No, no, don't sneeze, you stupid dragon,

or you'll blow us to the moon.

[DRAGON SNEEZES]

Dragons is so stupid.

Adios, have a nice trip,

bon voyage, farewell to thee.

[SWORD SlNGlNG "ALOHA 'OE"]

[BUGS READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]

BUGS:

He got an Oscar and I got a carrot.

So without further ado, in three acts...

... welcome to Friz Freleng's Looney

Looney Looney Bugs Bunny Movie.

Starring, heh-heh-heh, little old me.

Eh, what's up, doc?

You're despicable.

Suffering succotash.

Oh, I thought I saw a pussycat.

The name's Porky Pig.

BUGS:

Eh, when Hollywood was just a kid...

...the whole world fell in love with the

wacky and wonderful slapstick comedy.

It was the time of baggy-pants comics

and far-out gags.

Then Warner Bros. gave the world

Merrie Melodies and Looney T unes.

Friz Freleng and his fellow innovators...

... created some of the wildest,

zaniest, looniest characters...

... to ever appear on the silver screen,

and the baggy-pants comics was out.

As Charlie Chaplin himself once said,

"How can we compete?

These guys don 't have to stop

to take a breath. "

Then from the magic pen

of Friz Freleng...

... came a warm-hearted, humble

little introvert called Yosemite Sam.

Any one of you lily-livered, bowlegged

varmints care to slap leather with me?

In case any of you get any ideas, you

better know who you're dealing with.

I'm the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest,

bobtailed wildcat in the West.

I'm the fastest gun north, south,

east and west of the Pecos.

Well, hello there.

SAM:

"Local widow inherits $50 million."

Fifty million dollars.

Ooh. Hmm.

That widow ought to get married.

When I get my hands on that money...

...I'll buy the old-ladies' home

and kick the old ladies out.

I'll have the orphans' home torn down

and I'll get rid of the police department.

[LAUGHS]

Eh. That evil character's

after that nice old lady's money.

Looks like this Boy Scout's

gonna do his good deed for today.

Ooh! Oh, it's chilly in here.

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

Coming, coming.

I want you, baby.

Your eyes, your lips.

Come with me to the Casbah.

We'll make beautiful music together.

[PLAYlNG "SWEET GEORGlA BROWN"]

[GRANNY GlGGLlNG]

Come to Papa, baby.

Land's sake, nothing like this

has happened to me...

...since the boys got back

from Gettysburg.

Oh, boy. Oh, goodness.

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

Oh, goodness, someone's at the door.

Hey, don't go away. I'll be right back.

[lN FRENCH ACCENT]

Aha! I find you, my little pigeon.

Fly with me to Paris.

[GRANNY GlGGLlNG]

GRANNY:

Oh, my.

Oh, 20 years, nothing,

and then it all piles up in one day.

Oh, no. Oh, goodness gracious.

Eh, what is up, Monsieur le physician?

You darned dude.

I'll give you a taste of leather.

Ha! You have insulted the great lover.

The Marquis of Queensberry rules.

Take this.

- Oh!

- Pistols at 10 paces?

You're on.

- En garde?

- I'm ready.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, nine and a half...

...nine and three-quarters,

nine and three-sixteenths...

...eleven-sixteenths,

twelve-sixteenths, 10.

[HORN BLARES]

[lN NORMAL VOlCE]

Yep, he's right on time.

Ooh. What a night.

Open up. Open up that door!

[lMlTATlNG GRANNY]

Coming. Coming.

Now I got-

Emma.

[SAM CHUCKLlNG]

Oh, you're cute.

[NOSE HONKS]

[BUGS GlGGLlNG]

Yahoo!

[BUGS GlGGLlNG]

BUGS:

Oh, my.

Heavens to Betsy, he's looped.

Now, here, you better sit down

while I fix you a cup of black coffee.

Now, I'll be back with your coffee

in a jiffy.

Tsk-tsk-tsk. Oh, that's too bad.

He seemed like a nice little man.

- One or two lumps?

- Make it two.

Two? Okay. One, two.

[GlGGLlNG]

Oh, my.

Here's your coffee. One or two lumps?

- Aah!

- That's how many.

Oh! He flipped his lid.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Great horny toads.

Wait, Emmy. Wait.

I'm sorry. Open up, Emmy.

Don't you come near me.

Aw, come on, Emmy.

[GUNSHOT]

[WHlSTLES]

Emmy.

You're cute. Let's elope.

Okay, you get to the window.

I'll get a ladder.

I want to take a few things along.

Catch.

That dame's taking everything

but the kitchen sink.

Don't forget the money, Emmy.

[BARKlNG]

[SATAN LAUGHlNG]

Well, hello there.

Where am l?

Oh, it's powerful hot in here.

Hey, is this Dallas?

No, but you're close.

And what is your name, little man?

It's Yosemite Sam.

Yosemite Sam.

Now, let's see.

Yosemite Sam. Yosemit- Ah.

Here you are. Oh, my.

My goodness,

you have been a bad boy, haven't you?

The- The devil made me do it.

I mean, that rabbit made me do it.

Knock it off, Sam.

I can't stand to see a grown man cry.

I'll stop crying if you send me back.

Hmm.

I'll send you back on one condition.

You've got to bring somebody back

to replace you.

Oh, I will, I will. In fact,

I've already got the very varmint in mind.

I'll send you back

as a Roman captain of the guards.

- I'll take it. I'll take it.

- Then it's a deal.

Shake. Ow!

Ooh! Ow, ow! Oh, oh, oh!

Ow! Ooh! Ow, ow! Oh!

Oh, that's hot.

Yeah. When you're hot, you're hot.

Okay, back you go.

By gum, he did it.

I'm back in Rome.

Fall in. Forward harch.

Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four.

Eh.

What's that?

- A parade. Oh, boy, I love parades.

SAM:
Hut, two, three, four. Hut, two...

Hmm.

Get that rabbit.

Charge!

Oops.

Giddap, giddap, giddap, mule!

Hyah, hyah! Hyah, mule!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, mule.

Whoa, mule. Whoa.

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