Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie, The Page #2

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[CRASH]

Now, where'd that skunk of a rabbit go?

[ROARS]

Why, you mangy, fang-tooth critter,

take that.

Maybe that'll learn you

to keep your big mouth shut.

That fur-bearing varmint's

around here somewheres.

[ROARS]

How many times do I have to tell you...

...to shut up?

[ROARS]

Wait till I lay my hands on that varmint.

I'll-

[CRASHlNG]

[SNORlNG]

[TlCKlNG]

[ALARM RlNGlNG]

[LlONS ROARlNG]

How now, brown cow?

No long-eared galoot can outfox

the captain of the guards.

Okay, rabbit,

now let's see who's the smartest.

Oh, it looks like you outsmarted me.

Oh, woe is me.

Ah, shut up!

Here, lions.

[TOOLS SAWlNG]

[LlONS ROARlNG]

I hate rabbits.

I better get out of here

while the getting's good.

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

[ROARlNG]

[LlONS ROARlNG]

You back already?

Where's your replacement?

You gotta give me another chance.

I'll get a replacement, honest.

- See that you do.

- I'll get the critter this time.

I'll send him to hell.

Oh, pardon my language.

Here you go.

What am I doing

on this humpbacked mule?

Great horny toads.

I'd recognize them flat feet anywhere.

Hyah, mule! Hyah, hyah, hyah!

Whoa, camel, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, camel, whoa!

Aw, come on, whoa.

When I say "whoa," I mean "whoa."

[SlNGlNG]

Now I hope that'll learn you,

you humpbacked muley.

Eh, what's up, doc?

You with the sideshow around here?

I'm no doc, you flea-bitten varmint.

I'm Riff-Raff Sam.

The riffiest riff that ever riffed a raft.

Your slip is showing.

Why, you.

Whoo!

Follow that rabbit. Giddyap.

Come on, camel, giddyap. Giddyap.

Hyah, hyah, hyah.

Camel, giddyap. Giddy-

When I say "giddyap," I mean "giddyap."

[CAMEL BRAYS]

Whoa, camel, whoa. Whoa.

Whoa! Whoa, camel!

A car. Boy, what a break.

[ENGlNE STALLlNG]

What a spot to pick for a mirage.

SAM:

Whoa, camel, whoa! Whoa!

[THUD]

When I say "whoa," I mean "whoa."

[POUNDlNG ON DOOR]

SAM:

Open the door. Open it up.

Open it, open it.

I could've swore

I heard somebody knocking.

Mm, oh, well.

Yoo-hoo, Mr. Arab.

Uh-oh.

Hyah, mule! Hyah, hyah, hyah, mule!

Hyah!

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

[DOORS OPENlNG]

[DOORS OPENlNG]

I wonder if he's stubborn enough

to open all those doors.

[EXPLOSlON]

You just had to open every door,

didn't you?

I'll be right back. I'll get that bucktooth,

flop-eared, slimy varmint this time...

...or my name ain't Yosemite Sam.

That elevator only goes one way: down.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!

Ow! Ow!

Maybe I better send you back my way.

[PlANO PLAYlNG]

Any one of you lily-livered, bowlegged

varmints care to slap leather with me?

In case any of you get any ideas, you

better know who you're dealing with.

I'm the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest,

bobtailed wildcat in the West.

I'm the fastest gun north, south,

east and west of the Pecos.

- I'm the-

BUGS:
Eh, shut up.

Did I hear someone say "shut up"?

Yup.

Stranger, you just yupped yourself

into a hole in the head.

You been eating onions.

And you're gonna be eating lead.

I'm a-warning you, stranger.

I think it's fair to warn you,

I swing a fair shooting iron myself.

You see that church bell out there?

I'll carom a shot off it,

then off that water tower...

...through the window,

off the bottle on this bar...

...then part your hair

right down the middle.

[CLANGlNG]

- Ha! You missed.

- Wait.

You call that shooting?

I'll show you some real shooting.

Now, beat that, varmint.

Gee, that's tough...

...but I'll try.

That does it.

I'm a-blasting you.

I kind of figured you'd like to settle this

in a gentleman-like manner.

Gentlemen? Well, that's against

my principals, but it's a deal.

Ten paces, turn and fire.

- All right?

- All right.

One, two, three, four, five, 10.

Ooh, get back, varmint.

Ooh, cut it out.

No more gentlemen stuff.

From now on, you fight my way.

Dirty.

[TRAlN WHlSTLE BLOWlNG]

Five-fifteen?

I'll take care of you later.

I gotta catch a train.

And rob it.

Get back there, rabbit.

I'm a-gonna rob that train.

And I'm gonna save that train.

If you don't get back,

I'll blast you at the count of five.

One, two, three, four-

You stupid horse.

Get a-going.

Now, this time,

I'm only gonna count to three.

One, two-

You double-crossing rabbit,

you cut down your chances.

I'm only gonna count two

and then blast you.

One, two-

[SAM SCREAMS]

Hyah, hyah, hyah! Hyah, hyah, hyah!

Ha! This'll stop him.

You better stop your train, rabbit.

You better stop your train.

Well, I'm not stopping mine.

And I'm not stopping mine.

Oh, yeah?

We'll see who'll chicken out first.

[WHlSTLE BLOWlNG]

[WHlSTLES BLOWlNG]

Well, well, well,

look who just dropped in.

You must like it down here.

No, no, I hate it.

Oh, I am terribly disappointed in you.

However, I'm giving you

just one more chance.

Oh, no, you're not.

If you want him,

you can get him yourself.

I'm staying.

[LAUGHlNG]

BUGS:
Eh, the Roaring Twenties brought

on the cops-and-robbers movies...

...and audiences flocked into

the theaters to see their favorites.

FBI Agent Ness was brought in

to clean up the crime.

He became a public hero.

Friz Freleng decided

that whatever Ness could do...

...I could do better.

MAN:
From this point on,

you will have to be on your own.

You will be known to the department

as Elegant Mess.

BUGS:
Then I went ahead

and made a Ness of myself.

Taxi.

Look, fellas,

how many times do I have to tell you?

I haven't got a cold.

Heh-heh-heh. This is fun, Rocky.

NARRATOR:

In the wee hours of the morning...

...the mobsters' car was seen driving

out to the pier at Lake Michigan.

They drove away figuring they had

disposed of Mess permanently...

...but they had not figured

on his ingenuity.

The boys decided to throw a party

celebrating Rocky's birthday...

...and the removal of Agent Mess.

Among those attending

were Jack "Legs " Rhinestone...

...Baby Face Half-Nelson,

Pizza-Puss Lasagna...

...Pistol-Nose Pringle...

...and Teeth Malloy.

Rocky, we want to present to you

a token of our esteem.

Hi, suckers.

Who's the broad?

She's some looker, eh, Rocky?

Oh, what happened, Rocky?

You bonehead.

You know, you're a lucky broad.

I like you.

Stop the music.

Stop. Stop the music.

Stop the music.

Turn on the light, Mugsy.

Turn it off, quick.

You lunkhead.

Now, you get over here

and I'll turn on the light.

Then let him have it.

MUGSY:

Okay, Rocky.

[FOOTSTEPS]

[MACHlNERY WHlRRlNG]

Gee, this is fun, Rocky.

Just like in the amusement park.

ROCKY:

Shut up.

The way I work this thing,

you'd think I knew something about it.

[POPPlNG]

NARRATOR:
On August 19th, Rocky was

brought before Judge Hugo Straight...

...in Superior Court Number 5,

State of Illinois.

Has the defendant been read his rights?

Eh, I read him his rights, Your Honor,

didn't l, Clancy?

He surely did, Your Honor,

didn't he, O'Hara?

Aye, he did.

I myself heard it, didn't you, Bugs?

[lN lRlSH ACCENT]

Aye, that I did.

I read him every right

the rascal had coming, didn't l, Clancy?

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