Looney Tunes: Back in Action Page #5

- Yeah.

But I'm already in costume.

- That's a good look for you.

- Do you think so?

Wait a minute.

It is a window.

It's an X-ray.

Sorry.

It's a map of Africa.

Maybe that's where the diamond is.

Hold it up. I'll take a picture.

Can I take a picture? Please?

Come on, give me your phone.

I want to take a picture, too.

Cheese it, the cops.

He's gone.

So let me take a picture, will you?

I want to take a picture, too.

Come on, please? Can I hold the window?

Let me see the window.

I'll take that!

What gives, doc?

We made 35 pictures together.

As it turns out, I'm secretly evil.

That's show biz for you.

Now make with the card,

so I can please my dark masters.

Yes, sir. Queen of diamonds is your card.

Just put it back in the deck,

anywhere is fine. And oopsie-daisy!

- Is this your card?

- No.

- This?

- No.

- Run. This?

- No.

I said it's the queen of diamonds,

I tell you.

You mean, like this one?

Think we should go back and help him?

Elmer never gets Bugs.

It's a formula, but it works.

The great thing about movies,

you always know what will happen.

For instance, if this was a movie...

you and I'd probably wind up together.

If you don't let go of me, I'll scream...

but I'm not gonna stop screaming!

Well, this is surreal.

Stop or I'll fire.

Hello.

Oh, my.

Ladies, please.

Gendarme!

- Oui, monsieur?

- There's a man there. He's got a woman.

She's tied up in a burlap sack.

He's taking her to the Eiffel Tower.

It is spring, is it not?

I'm gonna blast you.

Shucks.

"Pointillism: A technique

of using individual dots of pigment...

"which, taken together, make an image."

Oh, crud.

I think when you go to the movies,

you should learn something.

Pardonnez-moi. Excusez-moi.

Look at that clown here.

Now, there's something

you don't see every day.

You.

Come here.

Wait a minute.

- I don't want any trouble.

- What are you doing?

I just want your pants!

That's right. I'm a vicious bird of prey.

Merci.

He's got the camera!

Give the girl back!

- What kept you?

- You okay?

That was great.

I'd say it's a perfect day.

Except for the fact that we lost the map.

- We?

- All right, I'm the jerk who lost the map.

And I'm the bunny

who saved the card. Voil.

Nice going, Bugs.

Africa.

Chair people, I reveal to you...

the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey.

All right.

There's a duck in the middle of the map.

Remove the duck.

Remove the duck! The duck is in the...

Duck!

We cannot let a boy, girl, duck, and rabbit

thwart our plans for global domination.

- Wanna bet?

- A wager?

$5 says my son will scuttle

your diabolical plans and save the world.

You're awfully spunky

for a man in your position.

How do you like that,

Mr. Slap Yourself in Your Own Face?

Give him a good zets

every once in a while.

My pleasure.

Now, I think I'm going to hedge my bet.

I'm going to unleash

our most vicious operative.

Mr. Chairman, while we agree

that the Tasmanian Devil is quite vicious...

if memory serves, he is also really stupid.

Really? So are you.

That's a good boy.

I withdraw my objection.

This would have been

a lot easier underground.

Come on, it's only another 6,000 cubits

in this here thick direction.

Look, Granny,

it's that nice boy from next door.

Little Damian.

How funny seeing you here, dear.

Hi, Granny.

Would you and your little friends

like a lift?

Giddyup, Dumbo.

Sure was a lucky coincidence

you showing up just now.

Yes, wasn't it?

I've discovered my roots.

I've discovered my lunch.

Cry freedom!

What a fantastic view.

Unless you're in the audience...

in which case you've been staring

at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.

My destiny awaits.

I guess this is our stop.

Enjoy the rest of your adventure, children.

This is the Blue Monkey?

This dime-store bauble?

- I've been rooked. Shafted by the gods.

- Nice going, Daffy.

I demand recompense.

I want my diamond.

Where is my humongous rock?

Pressed duck.

- This looks like a puzzle piece.

- What?

Wait a minute.

Are we rich yet?

Any time now.

I'm rich. I'm affluent.

My liquidity is assured.

Daffy, get back here. Don't touch that!

Let go! Don't you dare!

- The rock is mine. So close.

- You mind?

Yes, I mind. I'm the hero.

I should get the treasure.

The girl, too, but we'll discuss that later.

Careful with my diamond. Easy, now.

Dad, this is for you.

Why, D.J., why you? Why wasn't it me?

Just academic curiosity, you understand.

Gotta go. Bank closes at 5:00.

- Come on, Daffy, change him back.

- All right.

Buddy pictures.

- D.J., pal, you're okay.

- Yeah.

Give me that.

- I liked you better as a monkey.

- Thanks.

That is so sweet.

Now if you could just

hand over the diamond.

Immediately!

My turn.

Pardon.

- All right, now, I've come for the diamond.

- I knew it was you.

You knew it was me, did you?

You're wrong. Because I'm not me.

I'm actually...

I can't. I can't reach over the hat.

I'd rehearse back at ACME,

but I never wore the hat.

And now the hat is throwing me off.

Would you...

Thank you very much. Now, I'm actually...

Your father.

- Dad.

- Saw that one coming.

Look into your heart, D.J.

- You know it's true.

- No, it can't be true.

You're right, it isn't.

Let's do some drills.

This doesn't make a lick of sense.

Well, who's laughing now?

Apparently, no one.

Anyway, give me the Monkey!

No, forget that, man. You're evil.

Thank you, but...

Anyway, Mr. Smith,

let's show this muscle-bound beefcake...

who I have sometimes been mistaken for...

what it's like to live in the real world.

Have you ever been disintegrated in one

place and then reassembled in another?

Fire away.

No, you don't!

I thought they fixed that glitch.

Mr. Smith is fired!

I have to do everything myself

around here.

- Good.

- You...

Henchmen.

Dad.

So this is the remote that works.

This, my friend,

is the ACME Train of Death...

which is not good news for your father.

Don't worry about me, son.

I've gotten out of worse scrapes

than this one.

You see, if the Train of Death

doesn't kill him...

then those crates of TNT will.

Not to mention

the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head.

And look. There's the Pendulum of Doom.

What's the Pendulum of Doom

doing there? I did not order it.

It's overkill. Get rid of it.

Now, if you want to

keep your family "together"...

I would hand over the Blue Monkey now.

Don't worry, son. I'm fine.

- You're a sick man, you know that?

- Get used to it.

Excuse me? What about my father?

- He's waiting for a train.

- What? You...

Where's Marvin the Martian?

All right, here is the Blue Monkey.

Go put it on the satellite. Go!

No, you don't, eight ball.

You'd never catch that rabbit

being this heroic.

- What's up, doc?

- You're despicable.

Vandals.

Your friends' efforts will prove to be futile.

You see, here is the Blue Monkey,

here is the ACME satellite.

When the Blue Monkey

is finally docked in the satellite...

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