Loser Page #8

No. I want to be like the cool guys.

The guys who never go to class.

The guys who hit on girls

who are unconscious.

All the girls want you

when they're straight.

- You're with that Dora girl.

- What is that supposed to mean?

There's no velvet rope at Club Dora.

Any a**hole can get in.

You okay?

Good Lord, I am so sorry. Come on.

- Are you okay?

- I'm all right.

Let's get that looked at. Come on.

Oh, great news.

What?

I know it vexes you

we never do anything together.

So I'm taking you to my parents'

for Thanksgiving.

- You told your parents about me?

- Yeah.

I told them my girlfriend's out of town

so I'm bringing my assistant.

But it'll be great.

- Hello.

- Hey, Dad.

Hey there, college boy!

What's the matter?

You sound a little blue.

How's New York?

It seems like this city is one big orgy.

And if you actually care about anyone,

you're a chump.

- I'll go, but which cleaners?

- It's the one on 8th Street...

Can you hear me?

Sounds like things are rocky

with you and Dora.

It's not like that, Dad.

I don't even think she knew

I liked her that way.

It was just so fun having her around.

I don't know.

Maybe I should come home.

I don't think I belong here.

At your age, you'll get your heart broken

no matter what city you live in.

Yeah. I guess.

I just miss her.

God, it's all so expensive.

"What we obtain too cheap,

we esteem too lightly."

Thomas Paine.

Why don't I make something to wear?

Maybe. Help, please.

If they think I'm your assistant,

I'll go as myself.

Dora, it's my parents.

I can't even go as myself.

That looks fabulous on.

I'll start a room for you.

I feel funny about you buying me an outfit.

Consider it a loan until you're wealthy.

The clothes, the haircut.

- A haircut?

- I made an appointment at Bliss.

Just do a little shaping thing.

Okay.

Thanks.

Oh, thanks for the flowers.

What flowers?

The yellow flowers.

When I got my stomach...

Don't mention it.

- Those just came in.

- Thank you.

- Let's get started.

- Okay.

Beautiful there, huh?

Dora! We're going to a dinner,

not a fox hunt.

I just shouldn't go with you.

I'll take you to Calvin Klein.

Maybe they are more borough-friendly.

- I had a little scare today.

- What happened?

Dean Hackelman said

he wanted to talk to me.

I was afraid Paul had informed on us.

Why Paul?

My "special" students

got to take the final home.

Basically carte blanche to get an A,

and he wanted nothing to do with it.

I thought they were blackmailing you.

That's just it. Apparently he wasn't

in on it. It was just the others.

He even gave me a discourse

on how he can't be bought.

- So what grade did you give him?

- B.

- Why didn't you give him a B+?

- It was a B paper.

Yeah, but his scholarship?

He wanted that whole fairness thing,

not me.

When we get to my parents, none of this...

Hello?

Come on in.

I came by to warn you that Alcott

was giving you a B.

I knew that was going to happen,

so I dropped his class.

I can take an extra credit

and keep my average up.

Great!

You cut your hair.

Yeah, I did.

Got to keep up with the times, right?

I was kind of going for that...

..."George Clooney, my face is too cute

to hide behind my hair" look.

It looks good.

What's with the pizza?

I realized we never watched

that video you rented.

So I got another one, and got a pizza

just in case you were hungry.

Look, Dora.

I can't just go around watching movies

and eating pizza with you.

Not that I don't want to.

You know, there's other stuff.

I know you're thinking,

"What about our stuff?"

And you're right. I miss it a lot.

But I know Alcott is your boyfriend.

And to tell you the truth, I don't like him.

Not that that has anything to do

with how I feel about you.

It has a lot to do with how I feel about you.

That's why I can't have any pizza.

- Maybe I should try that again.

- Paul, he's not my boyfriend anymore.

Don't you want to be one

of those lucky people?

I do! Don't you?

You can't waltz in here with your videos,

and looking all cute.

- Unless, unless...

- Unless what?

Unless you mean it.

What was that?

A kiss.

You call that a kiss?

A botched hairplug operation

caused Chris to lose his "good looks."

He hoped women would see

his other good qualities...

Except he has none.

Adam was recruited

by a large corporation

and setup to take a fall

for their shady practices...

He now has an active social life... in jail.

Noah used himself as a guinea pig while

trying to create a stronger party drug.

He's currently relearning to tie his shoes.

Professor Alcott is serving 3 to 5 years

for having an affair

with a seventeen year-old.

Dora used the animal hospital

as her residence and got financial aide.

She didn't have to sell her eggs.

Paul has first dibs on them.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes