Lost and Delirious

Even then I had a bad feeling.

I felt like a grey mouse, heading

right for the mouth of a cat.

And there was nothing...

nothing I could do about it

Since my mother had died of

stomach cancer three years before,

I was beginning to forget

what she looked like.

When I looked in her compact

and saw my own face,

I could remember hers.

The powder smelled

like when I kissed

her cheek.

My mother...

she would never have

sent me to boarding

school.

It... it does get easier.

Really.

Oh, no, I'm fine. Really.

Listen, I'd like you

to meet someone fantastic.

Victoria!

-Victoria, come and meet Mary.

-Okay. Just a minute.

The food is really gross though.

Totally hospital, right?

So we mostly save our allowances

and like order pizza or Chinese.

And well.. you know,

the anorexics just eat erasers.

I'm serious.

We can get away with anything

up here. I mean anything.

Wow! You're so out of shape!

Come jogging with us or you'll

have a stroke before you're twenty.

So... this is the bathroom

and the showers.

-What's your name again?

-Most people just call me "Mouse."

-Mouse?

-My dad's always called me that.

Really? How come?

My dad used to call me "Princess."

Made me barf.

Better than "Mouse."

Mine's the messy one.

Of course. Major Slobberina.

I can't help it. It's like rage

at my mother or something, right?

And that's Paulie's.

This is mine. And...

This one is yours.

Sorry.

Hey...

Look, I know

it's weird at first.

But now, this is much more

home to me than home.

Like the Lost Boys

in "Peter Pan," right?

Except we're the Lost Girls, right?

"Lost and Delirious."

So when you're finished up here,

come party with us, okay?

Want a smoke?

Did I scare you?

You got "New Girl"

written all over you,

don't you?

Like a fresh new lamb.

What are you? 13? 1 4?

Some kind of brainiac?

Skipped a few grades?

I'm Paulie... Oster.

Mary Bedford.

Mouse really.

They call me.

I'd rather call you

"Shithead" than "Mouse."

So you're rooming

with me and Tory, huh?

Yeah. That's what Miss Vaughn said.

Well, I guess she didn't like us

up there all by our lonesome.

I've neve been

to a boarding school before.

Well, now you're one of the

Lost Girls. Welcome to the club.

Come on.

Help me spike the punch.

Let's get this party off its butt.

Rage more.

Rage more.

Hey, girls.

Mind if we crash your tea party?

Go away!

God, my brother is so annoying.

He's cute, though.

Hey, boys, can't you read the sign?

No d*ckheads allowed.

F***, she's special, huh?

And now I really want some tea.

Yeah... Can a d*ckhead have some

tea, please?

You're my morning glory, Tory.

Are you guys ready to party?

Yeah!

Paulie!

Paulie, Paulie...

What?

I think young Paulie

just spiked the punch.

Shall we pretend we don't know?

I'd love to do that.

And I know you'd love that too.

But that wouldn't be very good

"teachering," would it, Ms. Bannet?

I can't do that.

Before that day, I never knew what

people meant when they said "fun."

I was like some kind of Dr. Spock.

"And what is this "fun"?"

I don't know.

It was like she kind of put a spell

on me and all my foreboding,

that feeling I had, just...

kind of vanished.

Hey, New Girl.

What do you think of Vonny?

Don't call her "New Girl."

It's so rude.

Miss Vaughn? She's nice.

Some of the girls say

rude things about her.

She and Bannet...

they got it going for sure.

Paulie, give it a rest.

She's just a single lady and they're

very good friends. And that's it.

Don't be so mean.

And homophobic.

She seemed nice to me.

I mean, um...

normal. Well, not...

I'm not saying she's not nice,

New Girl. I'm saying she's a lezbo,

and she's got the hots

for Tory here.

Who can blame her, right?

Miss Beautiful.

Sorry.

I wasn't really sure

what I had just seen.

I know this sounds like naive,

but at first...

I thought they were like,

practicing for boys.

In Rainy River, you see, nothing had

really changed since the fifties.

It's morning time, you lazy sluts.

-Out of bed or we kick your butts!

-Ally, get out of my face.

I mean it.

Mary, this is my sister Ally.

She's a moron, aren't you, Ally?

And she has warts like all over

her toes! It's really gross.

-Get your gross toes out of my bed.

-Don't listen to her, Mary.

My toes are perfect.

Now get your fat

stinking butt out of here.

Out, out, out!

Come back and I'm gonna

whip your butt.

F***ing teenyboppers!

F***ing grow up!

Hey, I think there's

blueberry pancakes today.

God.

Wake up.

-Mary. Laurie.

-Hi. How are you?

Hi.

Oh, this looks so amazing.

I could totally give

my life for blueberry pancakes.

Don't you love

blueberry pancakes, Mouse?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey.

No bottom feeders!

-Out!

-Get out!

Come on.

Out! Out! Out!

We want to define

the minimum value of the quadratic

function.

Now in order to do this, we must

complete the square.

Since we know

the leading coefficient is...

We know, this, ladies.

-Cordelia?

-One.

One. Yes.

Thank you.

We simply add

half

of a linear term

to "X" and square the result.

To get the constant term of 11...

Victoria?

Yes?

Come. Help me.

You...

want me to do the problem?

Yes, I want you

to do the problem.

Okay. I'll try.

What seems to be the delay?

Victoria?

I don't get it.

And what

is it exactly

that you don't get?

The... the "X". I mean like...

Like where do you get the "X"?

I mean...

why?

What is...

what is an "X"?

Like...

You don't get what the "X" is?

Perhaps if you spent less

time gabbing and a little

more time listening...

"Gabbing?"

I consider that word

a punch in the face, Ms. Bannet.

I beg your pardon, Pauline?

It's a word males use

to shoot us down.

To trivialize

our talking to each other.

You want to be part

of that sh*t, huh?

Pauline Oster, you will not

use that kind of language

in my class again.

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me?

I have had it up to here...

Up to my eyeballs

with your disrespect.

-What do you think you're doing?

-Teaching. What you should've done.

Paulie, please.

-It's okay.

-Out of my classroom!

You will go to Miss Vaughn's

and explain why you are not in my

class and suffer the consequences.

Do you hear me?

Am I not clear?

You have a nice day now, Eleanor.

-So what's your next class?

-Reading.

-Down the hall. On your right, okay?

-Yeah.

you'll be fine.

Bye.

That's it. You know you don't own

her. Victoria can speak for herself.

Do you understand?

-Do you understand?

-She wasn't thinking. She...

She wasn't saying anything.

-She was saying what she wanted to.

-She wasn't. She was just saying...

It is her class.

I will not have you terrorizing

my school. Do you hear?

Who wants to hear the letter

to my blood mother?

You wrote it?

Did they actually

give you her address?

No. But they said

they'd send it on to her.

And then if she's into it,

we can have like... a meeting.

I know.

That would be so

f***ing...

"Dear my real Mother,

Don't be scared.

It's totally okay

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