Lost and Delirious Page #2

that you gave me up.

You were only a kid,

I totally understand.

Don't be scared of me.

I'm not scary.

I know you had a hard life.

And I have had a pretty good one.

Comfortable, you know,

if a little chilly.

Well, I imagine you living in some

apartment in Gerard and Parliament

selling your ass for a living.

And I just thought

I'd get in touch and we could

go for a beer sometime.

Your loving daughter,

Paulie.

P.S. Janet,

my fake mother, she smiles without

her eyes and her hands are cold."

I really hope she answers, P.

When she's old, I'm gonna

carry her around on my back.

You've never even met her?

Children's Aid took me

away from her in hospital.

She held me for one whole day.

Every minute.

That's what they told me.

I never write to my mom.

We always like talk on the phone.

Maybe that's why you

never say what you mean?

I can't say what I mean, P.

I mean, how could I ever

really say to her what I mean?

Even in a letter.

I mean like,

"Dear Mommy, I hate you.

The most recent reason being that

you went on about my teeth at Easter

in front of all your gross friends.

You want me to be like...

your perfect Junior League girl,

and grow up to do like

charity balls and be like the

concubine of some banker. Like you.

But the truth of it is

I am addicted to you.

Like chocolate.

I'm like I just always

want to be around you.

I'm just like some stupid little

puppy, and you just keep kicking

my teeth in with your words.

No, your tone.

And sometimes...

I don't know...

sometimes I wish you were dead."

Rage more, Victoria.

I can't believe I just said that.

My stepmother's always talking

about me when I'm there.

I hate it.

I hate her.

I think she's jealous

of my closeness to my dad.

Tory's mom's

insanely jealous of her.

Creeps me f*** out.

Why would she be jealous of me?

What?

Hey, Mary.

You didn't do your letter yet?

Oh. She died three years ago.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

I just don't see the point

of writing her a letter.

Maybe she could hear you, you know?

If I did write her a letter...

Go for it.

"Dear Mother,

Remember you asked me

when you were sick...

well, dying...?

It was fall.

October.

Still hot that year,

and your room

it smelled like

sweet rotten apples.

And I was holding

your head in my arms

and your breathing was so fast

and like shallow...

You said, 'Mary,

please

remember me.'

And the thing is

I do sometimes forget

what you Iook like..."

Brave.

Do you really not remember

what she looked like?

Sometimes.

Oh, God, that is so incredibly sad.

"Brave."

That's your new name.

Mary B.

"B" for "Brave."

"Mouse" is dead.

We're glad you're

our new roommate, Mary.

Aren't we, Paulie?

Duh. Are you glad to be our new

roommate, Mary Brave?

Come on. Truth. Be honest.

Excuse me.

I was wondering...

Would you?

Could you?

You like to garden?

Yeah.

Yes. I used to do it every day,

like from April till it snowed

with my mother.

Before

she passed away.

A couple of years ago.

I'm sorry to hear that.

So, I was wondering if maybe

you could use some help sometime?

Or, if you'd rather not,

that's totally fine.

No, no, no. That's okay.

It's uh... That'd be nice.

It's uh... first time

in twenty years

that one of the girls offered.

It's sort of like a sign coming.

Dawning of a new age.

Yeah, well...

I was just kidding.

I'll run it past Fay.

I mean Miss Vaughn.

The head mistress.

I'm sure she'll be okay with that.

Hey, what's your name?

Well, it's...

it's in transition.

In transition?

I like that.

So uh...

how do you spell that?

Is that with a "ph" or an "f"?

You're a... you're a bit

of a thinker, aren't you?

I don't know.

Well, you are.

So, I'll be expecting you...

"in transition."

And get yourself some gloves.

So...

She's been planning

this trip to Italy all year.

I just can't call

her up and be like,

"Sorry, Mom, trip's off. I'm going

tree planting out west with Paulie."

Tory...

You know what I want to do.

But I can't.

She's been acting really

psycho lately, Paulie...

And I don't know...

I have to spend some time with her.

Besides, you and me will be

together in the fall at McGill.

We will be so together.

I'm going to plant 3000 trees a day.

And win a golden shovel for you.

She gets serious nightmares.

Shall we go easy

today for Mary Brave?

You are gonna love it in here.

It's so cool.

Are you okay?

You should be able to speak easily.

No pain, no gain, Mary Brave.

You're doing good for your first

time out. Don't you think, Paulie?

Not bad.

I think we're doing

seven-and-half-minute miles.

No way. Nine at the fastest.

We're dragging our butts, man.

-Oh sh*t.

-Oh, God.

It's so beautiful.

Don't touch it if you

don't want to get bit.

I wasn't gonna touch it.

Just leave it to me. Okay.

Okay, I'll take care of it.

I said just leave it to me.

I'll meet up with you later. Go.

Come on. When she has

something in her head...

Hey, there.

Hi!

One of you sexy ladies would like

to smoke a split with us?

Uh... but thanks.

We're in training so...

Hey, aren't you

Tim Moller's sister?

-Yeah, I'm Tory.

-Hi.

And this is Mary.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Jake Hollander.

And uh, this is John.

And that idiot is Phil.

-Hi.

-Hi.

So anyway um...

-We gotta get going.

-Hey, Tory,

isn't it Tim's 18th coming up?

down at the Bluenote?

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Sounds like a good time.

You gonna be there?

Um... maybe.

Anyways, we gotta go.

I hope to see you there, Tory.

-"I hope to see you there, Tory."

-Shut up.

-I think he likes you.

-Who?

You know who.

He liked my tits.

They all like my tits.

-So you're gonna go?

-Where?

To your brother's birthday party?

And have all those gross guys

groping me? I'd rather stay home.

I wonder what Paulie's

done with that bird.

Paulie!

Paulie!

Oh, my God!

Is that for the bird?

If they can see too much they get

freaked out. And they go psycho.

-Do you think he's gonna fly again?

-I'm gonna take care of it.

This is gonna be way, way cool.

Come here.

I would so totally

lose it without you, P.

Don't worry.

I'm gonna protect you.

My mother, she really

liked to get her hands dirty.

I'm always afraid

of like... worm eggs.

Worm eggs?

Do worms lay eggs?

I think so.

Or no. I don't know.

I don't think they lay eggs.

I think they just kind of...

ooze up out of the earth.

Your mother,

she sounds pretty interesting.

I like a woman who doesn't

mind getting her hands dirty.

Yeah. She would say, "Hey,

don't worry. It's a clean dirt."

-She was funny.

-Yeah.

Every year, in the spring,

she would wake me up in the morning

and she would whisper in my ear

"The first crocus is here."

And we would go outside

in our nightgowns and bare feet.

And get your feet dirty. Together.

I don't know if they

didn't know I could hear.

Orjust pretended they didn't know.

But after a while,

it was... kind of...

I don't know, okay.

Their sounds, their whispers...

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