Lost and Found Page #5

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I don't have to stop in

the middle of a lame cutdown

to ask, "how you say?"

What's that about?

"How you say?" Now, I know

you gotta scoot along.

You don't want to be late

for your...How do you say?

Dipshit convention.

Yeah. I'm from here, buddy.

I think fast,

and I talk fast.

I'm a local yokel.

[Cell phone rings]

Gimme a sec.

Yeah.

Ray's here

for the tasting,

and I don't know

how long I can stall him.

Where the hell are you?

I told--

that was

a close one.

Ha ha ha!

Walk away.

We're walking away.

[Beep]

[Sighs]

Too soon, I guess.

Give it some time.

Well, um...

Thank you for

everything and, um...

[Clears throat]

Good night.

May I have

a glass of water?

Sure.

No ice.

Merci. Have a seat.

Lila...

Remember...

When you used to

come home at night...

Tired...

And I used to

massage your feet?

Come on.

Give it to me.

Wow.

Why are you

so tense?

Wow. I still have

magic hands.

You remember

the magic hands?

Relax. Come on.

Lie back.

Lie back.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Oh, lila...

My God, I missed you.

No, I can't do this.

I'm not doing this again.

Shh. Relax. You can do it

because you trust me...

Because I'm

a different man...

Because I've evolved.

Ohh! No. No.

No. No, no.

No, no, no, no.

Ok. Ok.

I've been selfish.

Now...Let's slow down.

Ok.

Ok.

I gotta go

to the bathroom.

You remember.

This is rene...

Liar, cheat,

potential carrier

of venereal disease.

It's been a while,

though.

People deserve

a second chance.

Maybe he's changed.

What?

Arrete!

Come on!

Va-t'en.

Va-t'en.

[Door closes]

Lila! Where is

your sense of humor?

Makes me laugh.

Connard!

I have her

just where I want her.

[Whines]

What did you do?

Are you ok?

[Whimpering]

You don't look so hot.

Yeah.

[Rock playing]

Arf!

[Whining]

Arf arf!

[Woman rapping]

Good...Puppy.

[Whining]

He's a good doggy.

[Grrr grrr]

Sing it, baby.

Come here, buddy.

[Burps]

Aha.

There you go.

Mmm.

Drink.

All right, don't be

so grumpy, buddy.

We're in a dog store.

This place should be

like Disneyland to you.

Hmm.

These look good.

Mm-hmm.

"Tartar control"?

You know what the leading

cause of tartar is?

Eating your own poop.

Yeah. Don't play dumb.

I've seen you.

Hmm.

Look, mommy. It's the lost

doggy in the picture.

[Dylan gasps]

What's goin' on,

boys?

Just a little friendly

goldfish hunt.

There you are.

Come here, friend.

Oh, you are a winner.

Hee hee!

Ooh, looky here, Jack.

Hee hee hee hoo!

I got one.

Looky, Jack.

A new buddy.

You want

a new friend? Huh?

Want somebody

to play with?

You give me the ring,

I'll buy you the fish.

[Gulps]

[Whistling]

Polly want an earthquake?

Polly want an earthquake?

Polly want--

Brian, play nice.

Polly want an earthquake?

Brian, you heard

your mom. Play nice.

You're not my boss.

I know I'm not your boss,

but if you shake that cage

one more time,

I'm gonna start

my own little earthquake

on your face.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Hah hah! Is that it?

Is that your

big, bad speech?

Well, I got news for you

and your fag dog, mister.

You're outta

your league.

That's the man, mommy.

He pat my bottom,

put me in his lap.

We played santy claus.

He touched

my naughty place.

Get it? Got it?

Good!

[Chuckles]

Easy, kid.

You run the show.

We're all friends here.

Everybody walks away.

Sorry, bird. Did--aah!

Uhh!

Ay, caramba!

Let's get outta here.

[Woof woof]

[Arf]

Shh. Come on.

You be good,

or you don't get that

stuff in the car. Ohh!

Dylan?

Oh!

Yeah!

[Lila humming]

Dylan. I thought

it was you.

Hey, lila.

What are you doing?

Uh...Laundry.

But shouldn't you

undress first?

No. I gotta let it

soak in.

Shout it out.

[Chuckles]

Are you sure you're ok?

You seem to be

a little bit...

Anxious.

I'm fine. Just waitin'

for the dryer to dry.

This might help.

Oh.

[Dryer runs]

[Thumping and banging]

[Jack yelps]

[Thump thump]

[Bang thump]

Wet clothes.

[Jack yelps]

[Thump]

And boots.

[Chuckles]

Big load.

[Bang thump bang]

[Yip]

Ok. Bye.

Ok.

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Jack.

Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry, pal.

[Whines]

That was uncool.

[Static electricity

crackling]

Yeah. [Chuckles]

I should've

thrown in a bounce.

All right, you're

fine. You're fine.

Rrrr!

[Sniffing]

[Toilet flushes]

Oh, hey, boss.

Wally, why do you have to

wait to get to my house

before you throw down

a big Stanley steamer?

How did you get

in here, anyway?

Oh. I had a key made

while you were sleepin'.

I didn't want

to wake you up.

Did you ever work

for Selena?

[Bitingly]

Hello, Jack.

Anything you want

to give me?

[Whining]

Hmm.

Now we play my way.

Wally, load it up.

[Neigh]

[Neigh]

[Woof woof]

[Woof woof woof]

[Woof]

[Woof woof woof]

[Woof]

[Grrr woof]

[Grrr woof]

[Woof woof woof]

[Woof]

[Woof woof]

He's mine.

[Woof woof woof]

Let me do it.

[Woof]

[Woof woof

woof woof]

[Click]

[Barking continues]

[Grrr]

[Gunshot]

[Yip]

[Gunshot]

[Yip]

[Gunshot]

[Yip]

[Gunshot]

[Yip]

See what happened to him?

And he was a good doggy.

Startin' to get it?

[Knock on door]

Did you order pizza?

Mm-mmm.

[Crying]

Who is it?

It's lila. I want

to talk to you.

Uhh.

Chew. Chew. Quiet,

quiet, quiet, quiet.

Lila:
Dylan.

Here. Take him

in the bathroom.

Hmm?

Go in the bathroom.

Be quiet.

Hide, hide, hide.

Is everything ok?

Yes! I'm just cleaning up!

It's a mess!

Stay in here

and be super quiet.

But, boss, I can't be quiet.

I got the dog on--

no, no.

No. No. Shh!

Stay. Shh. Quiet.

Hey.

Hey! I know you.

I'm not interrupting

something, am I?

No, no. Don't

be ridiculous.

Is there a girl

in there?

A girl? You're

the only girl I know.

[Chuckling]

Oh.

Well, um...

I just wanted to

come by and say hi.

Just say hi.

Interesting.

No, actually, I, um,

I wanted you to know

that I'm sorry

for being such

a terrible neighbor.

I should not have made

Jack your problem.

Trust me...

I made Jack

my own problem.

Ohhh...

You're so sweet.

I am sweet.

I've heard that.

Anyway,

you said it yourself.

He's run off before.

I'm sure he'll pop up.

Hey! Oh!

Mosquitoes.

Oh, my God, you're

gonna get eaten alive.

Let's get outta here.

I know the perfect spot

to take you.

How long have you

owned it?

3 months.

I like it.

Yeah?

Let me show you

something really cool.

Hey, where I come from,

this would be illegal.

A harmless little b&e?

6 months to a year Max.

Got it.

What is this place?

Well, this is hopefully...

The new wing to my restaurant.

Doesn't look

like much right now...

But use your imagination.

Over here is gonna be

all big windows.

Back there's gonna be

a bar, really cool.

And up front in the corner,

I'm gonna have live music.

It sounds like you can

already see it.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Just picture it in your head,

then you make it happen.

Wow. You're so positive.

Nothing gets

in your way.

Well, it's easy.

Isn't there something

you've always wanted to do?

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