Lost Cat Corona
1
Ah, f*** me.
Ow! F*** you!
I said,
what did I say?
You knocked them!
Tell me what I said.
I'll slap you upside your head,
I told you I'm talking,
didn't I?
What did I say, huh?
Ow! Let go, Dan!
F***.
Hey!
Now, listen to me.
Hey!
Mind your f***ing business,
all right.
Don't make me
call the cops, huh?
So, maybe I just
beat your ass too then, huh?
Oh, he said, "let her go."
Jerk off, what are you deaf?
Let her go.
F*** you, too.
What?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Son of a...
I don't need help.
F***, I can take care of myself.
Damn right.
You f***ing weird, with your
fat face and whatever.
Nice mouth.
Real nice mouth.
F*** you!
F*** your mother!
You believe that sh*t?
Both need help.
Yeah.
Have a good one.
Thanks.
Dominic?
Yeah.
I'm sick.
What?
I'm sick!
What?
Leonard didn't come home
last night.
You gotta go out
and find him.
Don't give me any grief today.
You're the one
who let him out.
He was whining and carrying-on.
He wanted to go out.
So you let him?
In the middle of the night?
Coyotes and all...
I'd like to kick you
in the balls right now. May I?
Oh wait, I have to
find them first.
Ah, here we go.
Can you stand up to a cat
for Christ sake?
I got sal's dad wake today.
I'm just saying.
Why is everything
an argument with you?
My mother is going
into surgery today, remember?
And since when are you and sal
such good friends anymore?
Just find
Leonard first, all right?
And pick up some toilet paper.
I just finished the last roll.
Hey, Leonard...
All right, I'll call you
and let you know
how my mother's doing.
All right.
Oh, sh*t.
When you pick up toilet paper
stop by the cleaners,
Toilet paper, sweater, got it.
Please...
Just find Leonard.
Find him.
I'll find him.
Leonard!
F***ing cat.
Ah, f*** you.
Nothing?
That cat's got it in for you.
He's probably hiding somewhere
laughing his ass off.
Ah, cats, Connie, people...
I take one day off of work
and this is the sh*t
i gotta deal with.
I told you about the guy
slapping the sh*t out
of his girlfriend this morning.
And her, she's f***ed up.
You're lucky
he didn't have a gun.
You know, see,
that's really f***ed up.
What's f***ed up now?
That fact that the silver lining
is he didn't have a gun.
I mean,
this entire city is insane.
So move.
Yeah, move. Where am i
gonna move? This is my home.
I don't know.
Some place nice.
What's nice?
That phony,
"have a nice day" bullshit.
I mean,
why can't people just be normal?
I just want to get through
my life unscathed, that's it.
Leave me alone.
Well, good luck with that.
Yeah.
So, we're gonna go
look for this cat or what?
Yeah,
i got to look for this cat,
i don't find this cat,
I'm moving in with you,
so how's that?
Who the hell is this?
Hi.
Hi, dom.
Hi! Betty.
I live across the street.
He didn't come home yet?
No, not yet.
Connie called me
early this morning, frantic.
Si.
You remember
when my Bruno went missing?
But I did these flyers...
Look.
And I got so many calls.
Lots!
I think it's brilliant,
you know.
I can do one for you.
Maybe it'd help.
It's helping already, I think.
Thanks, bet,
i really appreciate it.
I'm gonna see how
i make out myself first, okay.
Take the flyer, man.
Is this your number?
Yeah.
You see, you better find him.
You got it. I'll let you
know how it make out.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
You know, Tommy the suit
bought a big ass SUV.
Yeah.
And I told him, you know,
"gas don't grow on trees,"
you know.
That's true.
What about the q-58 express bus?
Leonard!
Leonard!
No doubt, liberace was gay
way before his time.
Way before.
Oh.
Well, this was fun.
Time to expand the search.
We'll pack a suitcase?
Hey!
Are you for real?
I thought you were so sick.
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
I joined the mathletes.
I got a tournament.
Oh, you're hilarious.
Stop your lying.
Rolling in at 01:00 A.M.
you can't just come and go
as you please.
Hey, you know what?
I'm done with you.
Let your father
deal with this sh*t.
He's not my father.
Come on.
You better be back here
before he gets home!
Don't say I didn't warn you!
So what's the game plan?
You'll see.
Where did you get this map?
From the year of the flood?
You asked for
a from map of corona.
It's a historical map.
What?
What is this?
A historical jacket?
It's a wake, remember?
Now what do we need this for?
I know where the hell I am.
One word... Connie.
You mark where you look.
If you don't find him,
you have proof that you looked.
Is it okay?
Yes fine, I have like
fifty of them.
What is it with you and maps?
You know, ponce...
Can I just like, not to looking,
and still mark up the map.
Let's do that then.
Yeah, right.
That's good for you.
Back to my plan then?
Yeah, go ahead.
So, we're pretty much bordered
by hazardous roads.
So, we start here
in Roosevelt...
Down to 1/11...
Long island expressway...
Here, here, mm?
I could have
found the cat by now.
It's been eight years, huh?
Yep.
You looked like a maniac
sitting in with the vet with a
python wrapped around your neck.
Connie freaked.
You see that?
You guys have
just rescued Leonard.
You and I meet.
And here I am,
helping you to find him.
- It was all meant to be.
- Yeah, meant to be.
What was the name
of the snake again?
Snake.
Listen, I appreciate
the company, bud.
I do.
No problem.
I got time.
Besides, what if somebody
tries to take your lunch money?
It's Connie's bike.
Mine's busted, all right.
You looked in a mirror lately?
All right, where to?
You're the one with the map.
Let's go.
No cat. But he says,
I'm a dead ringer
of his deceased cousin.
Before dead or after?
I don't know.
Let's go check the lot
around the corner, huh?
Yo! Yo, Leonard!
Where you been?
Don't look at me
for inspiration, I'd bag this
whole thing for a cold beer.
I come from a long line
of non-motivators.
You?
Your father
was the heavyweight champ.
"Stop being so low in your life.
You gonna keep this in
the god damn urinal completely!"
He used to say to me.
I can't tell you
how many times.
I wondered why your shoes
always looked wet.
Leonard!
F***ing cat.
What?
What!
Check this sh*t out.
Hey, good eyes.
What the f*** is that!
What?
Oh, sh*t!
It's a f***ing ear!
This ain't a gag, is it?
No, that's someone's
sliced of a f***ing ear!
Van gogh live around here?
Should we call the cops?
No, I'm not getting involved
with that sh*t.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
Don't throw that in there.
We've got our fingerprints
all over the bag now.
You said you didn't want
to get involved.
I did.
Just give it to me.
I'll, I'll give it to sal.
We'll take care of it.
Yeah.
Hey, you want to split this?
What?
Money.
No.
I was born way too late.
Give me the old west,
with saloon towns, and
horse turds steaming
in the streets, and
shootouts at sundown,
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"Lost Cat Corona" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 3 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lost_cat_corona_12847>.
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