Love at First Bite Page #4

The mirror is broken.

A small accident. Forgive me, Doctor.

I almost forgot,

I bought you something, too, darling.

Really? For me? How sweet. What is it?

- It's a good-luck necklace.

- Thank you.

It's very interesting.

- Oh, God, it smells awful.

- Yes. It's made of garlic.

Garlic? I don't think that's funny, Jeffery.

You're getting to be a bore, Rosenberg.

Von Helsing, Count Dracula.

My grandfather was Dr. Fritz Van Helsing.

I changed my name to Rosenberg

for professional reasons.

He practiced in London.

Is the name familiar to you?

Van Helsing! I should have known.

Your grandfather was a very wise man.

But unfortunately for him, I was wiser.

- Yes, but the race goes on.

- What the hell are you men talking about?

Are you stoned, Jeffery?

Did you sneak a joint out of my purse?

Let him continue, he is most amusing.

You won't find this amusing, Count.

- What have you there, some wolfsbane?

- Something more powerful than wolfsbane.

Well, Count, what do you say to that?

I would say, leave Cindy alone, and

find yourself a nice Jewish girl, Doctor.

- Sh*t! It's the other one, isn't it?

- Good evening, Dr. Rosenberg.

- Better luck next time.

- One last thing.

I have no more time for games,

Dr. Rosenberg.

Look into my eyes, Count Vladimir Dracula.

Look deeply into my eyes.

You are getting sleepy.

Knock it off, Jeffery. I'm starving.

I'm going to have you find the truth

out about this man one way or another.

Sleepier and sleepier.

Do not teach your grandmother

how to suck eggs, Rosenberg.

It is you who is getting sleepier

and sleepier.

You are falling into a deep sleep.

Pleasant, warm.

Close your eyes.

Soon you will be under my power.

Look it, I can't stand much more

of this competitive macho sh*t...

you guys, I'm warning you.

Sleepier and sleepier, Count.

Drowsier and drowsier, Rosenberg.

You're almost asleep by now.

- No, you are.

- No, you are.

- You are.

- No, you are.

I'm going home.

Sleep.

- Are you gentlemen...

- Sleep!

Sleep.

Who's there?

Cindy!

Oh, it's you.

Why don't you just go back to the Plaza...

and play your little boy games with Jeffery.

Open the door.

I can't. I have company.

I don't want to be disturbed.

Very cute. I told you, I've got a man in here.

Now you do.

Why, you arrogant S.O.B.

I'm Dracula, a great power...

and yet I'm humbled before you.

You're the only woman I've ever loved.

You belong to me.

Look it, I'm not your slave.

Now, I've asked you nicely to leave.

Now I'm going to call the police.

I mean it.

You sought experience...

and none has satisfied you.

You long for something wild

and overpowering...

to sweep you beyond thought.

- I heard a rooster crow.

- A rooster? In New York City?

- It is late. I must go.

- Wait a minute. Come on.

We could go to bed,

maybe get in a little quickie?

No. With you, never a quickie.

Always, a longie.

Until tonight.

Hey, when you come back tonight,

it's okay to use the front door.

I'm telling you, I didn't do it.

You gotta get it right, man. Take it easy!

Who's in charge here?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant, please let me go.

I swear I'll never do it again.

It was just one hubcap.

Yeah, sure. What about the other three?

Now, you tell me the names

of the boys in the gang...

and maybe I'll give you a break.

I don't know their names.

I just met them walking down the street.

And you know we all look alike.

Smart ass.

Russell, I'm gonna throw the book at you.

- Just a minute, Lieutenant.

- Who the hell are you?

I just happen to be a doctor of psychiatry.

I think this boy's telling the truth.

I think he knows what he's done

and he's sorry.

Well, let me tell you...

today, Corvette hubcaps and tomorrow...

Chase Manhattan Bank goes up in smoke,

that's right.

Russell...

I want you to take this.

Go to this clinic next Tuesday at 9:00...

ask for Dr. Shapiro,

and you tell him that I sent you.

- Is that agreed?

- Yes, sir. Thank you.

Lieutenant, unlock the handcuffs.

Are you sure?

There are no guarantees, Lieutenant,

only chances.

Okay, you must know, you're the doc.

Russell, if you make a monkey out of me...

I want you to get out of here.

Don't want you to ever

come back here again...

unless you're selling

Girl Scout cookies, okay?

Girl Scout cookies, Boy Scout cookies,

oatmeal cookies, sugar cookies...

anything you want. I know

where the guy parks his truck at night.

And I'll... At a discount.

No, for free, both of you.

Do you feel better?

Yes, I do. It's crazy, I know, but I really do.

So do I.

- I almost forgot why I came in here.

- Oh, yeah? What's up, doc?

A little joke I... It just feels so good.

Lieutenant,

my name is Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg...

and I want to talk to you about a man

who sucks the blood out of people.

Loan shark? What's his name?

No, this is no loan shark. This is a vampire.

Vampire?

A vampire.

His name is Dracula, Count Dracula.

And he bites people in the neck

and he drinks their blood.

O'Brien.

Get that rotten kid back in here. Quickly.

Somebody. Murphy.

We're gonna need all the help we can get.

Get this crazy psycho out of here

before I kill him. Get him out!

Wait.

It's very hard to believe this, I know.

It's a difficult thing to believe.

Out!

They wouldn't believe my grandfather.

Get him out!

- Can I help you with it, sir?

- No, that's fine.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sure you'll find everything

to your satisfaction, sir.

I'm sure I will.

If there's anything you need,

my name is Billy.

Hello, Billy.

I got everything I need right here

in this little old bag.

If you catch my meaning, Billy.

You need ice?

No ice.

You won't be disturbed, sir.

You have a nice weekend.

A nice long weekend.

- You, too, Billy.

- Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Every now and then...

it certainly helps...

to have a patient doing five to 10...

for breaking...

and entering.

Can I really do this?

A Freudian wouldn't do this.

A Jungian would do this.

A Reichian would do this.

But I'm a Freudian.

But I'm also a Van Helsing.

In the name of all the Van Helsings

who have ever lived.

Burn, baby, burn.

Who's smoking?

This is a perfect example...

of a man taking charge of his own life.

And I feel...

pretty good.

Fire. Room 903.

Master.

Let it burn!

We got to run, guy. Come on.

Let it burn!

Let me go! I'm a doctor.

I know what I'm doing.

See, he's a vampire.

And he's got to be destroyed. He's filth.

Decadence. He's unclean.

He's got to be destroyed.

And you know what I think?

I'm not sure about this, but I suspect...

that he's better in bed

with my girl than I am!

This guy has really flipped.

Who's that for?

It's not for me. Get the air bubble out.

Dr. Donahue.

Call 276.

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

Been keeping busy?

Let me see. What are you're doing?

It's nothing. I'll show it to you

when it's finished.

Okay.

I picked up something for you to eat.

- Am I going to be in here that long?

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