Love at First Bite Page #6

So we can grab him

while he's still sleeping in his coffin.

I cannot believe what I'm hearing.

Your Honor, let me shed some light on this.

Listen, honky.

Didn't you see Roots?

I loved Roots.

And Brima is a terrific dancer.

You better believe it.

And our people have come a long way...

for you to be coming in here

with that voodoo scary Dracula sh*t.

Now I want you to haul ass

out of my courtroom...

before I really get mean.

Your Honor, I'm a doctor of...

Look at this.

It's him.

Yeah. Or a rock group. Come on.

Are you coming or aren't you?

I can't do it, Doc. I told you. I'm sorry.

You bring him down. I'll do the rest.

All right. You stay right here.

Wait a minute.

- You may need this.

- He's already dead.

You can't come in!

I'm in. Where is he?

He's not here. Now, why don't you

leave us alone, for God's sake!

Where is he? Where's his damn coffin?

I know he's here somewhere.

Who does this patent leather pump

belong to? Cinderella?

He's in here somewhere and I'll find him.

It's me! I don't see any pictures of him.

You know why there are no pictures of him?

Because you can't

take any pictures of him. That's why.

Here somewhere.

So we meet again, Dr. Rosenberg.

Where's your master?

He's at the airport buying tickets

for our flight home tonight.

Why did you tell him that?

Because the bad guys always tell

the good guys what they're going to do...

just before they try to kill them.

He's absolutely right, Miss Cindy.

That's part of the rules, but in this case,

we are the good guys.

Shall we let history make that judgment?

Certainly, Rosenberg.

Is there anything else you'd like to know?

Yes. Do you like centipedes?

Why do you ask?

There's a beautiful one

in front of your left foot.

Where?

And you call yourself a doctor.

Jeffery!

Come on. You're coming with me.

No, I'm not. Look it, I love him

and he loves me.

Why don't you just walk around the block

and explain that to yourself?

Okay. I'm sorry.

I've been way out of line here.

I'm really sorry. You've seen the last of me.

All right. Sorry to see it end this way.

One way or the other, sister.

Nightie-night.

Please, God.

Not again.

Please don't mess with that big switch

up there in the sky.

Jet lag.

What's going on here?

Quiet!

It's another brown out. We're stuck.

Somebody got a match?

He's right. Relaxez-vous.

I got a lighter in my right-hand pocket.

Would one of you guys wanna reach in,

grab it, and flick my Bic?

Excuse me.

I've got it.

Well, the important thing is not to panic.

Too many people in here.

Somebody's got to go.

What are you talking about?

This is an elevator, not a lifeboat.

Maurice.

Hello, honey.

Hello!

Animals.

People in a blackout become animals.

Renfield, where is she?

She's gone. Rosenberg took her.

Rosenberg. Where?

I don't know.

They only left a few moments ago.

Master, what are we to do now?

Where are we to go?

Airline tickets to romantic places.

- London!

- Dorchester Hotel.

- England.

- Just like the good old days.

Where am I?

- What happened?

- You tell her. Poor darling.

It's all right. Cindy, relax.

Everything is gonna be all right.

- Long flight.

- Now I remember.

Let go of me, Dr. Rosenberg.

I'm gonna scream.

No screaming. I'm becoming unglued

as it is. God, I think I'm gonna faint.

If you do, it'll have to be

standing up, fruitcake.

Vladimir!

I'm coming to save you.

We're gonna be saved!

You fools!

How stupid can you be?

That was the voice of Dracula.

- Dracula who?

- Dracula who?

Dracula, lady. That blood-sucking vampire.

Haven't you read the newspapers?

He's on his way down here...

for this girl, and after her,

God knows who's next.

Come on, let him have it.

Listen, can't believe what's going on here.

Take care of your mother. Bolt the doors.

If anybody breaks in, tell him

your father is cop, that'll scare him.

- What are you doing?

- It's for my den.

I hate Princess phones, don't you?

You can't do that.

Give me that back!

Lost my dime.

- There.

- Do not forget, lady. You owe us.

I won't.

Don't forget to tell them we're here, darling.

Now remember, honey...

Mrs. Knockwood in 14B.

Please, turn off the pot roast.

Quickly, my darling. Hold on tight.

Honey, can we stop by the apartment

so I can pack a little overnight bag?

Of course, my darling. Which floor is it?

We're saved!

Listen, kid. I'm sorry about that, you know.

You kind of went bananas.

Look, if you ever need me

anytime of the day or night...

I'm right across the street at St. Vincent's.

Such a nice Jewish boy. A doctor, yet.

Why you need a meshugennah blonde

like that for?

My sister Lina, she has a daughter.

Ferguson.

I had her, but he took her

up the elevator shaft.

All right. What goes up

must come down. Come on.

You're all under arrest. Every one of you!

Get your $10 flashlight. How about it, sir?

$10 for a flashlight?

- Supply and demand.

- I'm a cop, you know.

$2 for a flashlight. Get your $2 flashlights.

Where the hell are they?

Gentlemen, could you tell me

exactly what you did during the blackout?

- Is this local or network?

- Local.

- Live or tape?

- Live.

There's a vampire loose in the city.

Lock up your wives, your sisters,

your daughters, and your sweethearts.

No!

This is Edward Calvin reporting...

- He's already got my girl.

- Come on.

There they are.

Come on.

...reporting on the street coverage...

Protect yourself. Looks like a bat!

Lots of strange happenings,

we're gonna find out the details later.

- Hi, Doc.

- Hi, Russell.

See you at the clinic.

I told you so.

Maybe it's just therapy.

Doc, look.

A bike. Come on.

They're following us. Isn't it exciting?

What following? What?

Something I should know?

Hang a right on Queens Boulevard.

Proceed due north

on the Van Wyck Expressway.

Forget the Grand Central

and the Belt Parkway. This takes us right in.

That's terrific. Would you like

to come up here and help me drive?

If necessary.

He's heading to the expressway.

I told you, we're stuck.

It could be backed up for miles.

Erwin Newman, driver 10763.

I command you to defy the laws

of centrifugal force.

Close your eyes.

Yes, master. I mean, mister.

Oh, this is great!

I won't have to get

my tires rotated this month.

Drive on the grass.

That I can't do. It's illegal.

I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the car.

He'll get himself killed doing that.

Told you, he's already dead.

Doc, how much did you say

that girl owes you?

Counting Friday, $7,452.

But it's not the money.

There's a good chance I love her.

Watch out for that oak tree!

Tell him, lady.

I haven't been driving

for the past five minutes.

Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds!

Vladimir, they're still kissing.

Isn't that sweet?

How romantic.

Erwin, put on some music.

All right!

Use the radio. Call for help.

Yeah, what am I supposed to do?

Tell them this is Lt. Ferguson...

I'm on a stolen bike with a psychiatrist...

chasing a vampire who's going to

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