Love Crazy

It's delightful to be married

To be, be, be, be married!

There's nothing half as jolly

Good evening, Mr. Ireland.

As a happy married life

Hiya, Jimmy.

- Give me a little lift with this, will you?

- Certainly, sir.

Yes, sir, Jimmy, it's certainly delightful

to be, be, be, be married!

- Don't you think so, Jimmy?

- Well, sometimes.

Oh, always.

There's nothing wrong with anyone's life

that a good marriage can't cure.

Thank you, sir.

It's delightful to be married

To be, be, be, be married

He'd sure sing a different tune

if he lived with my old lady for a while.

Oh, I don't know. I didn't mind it so much.

- Good morning, Mr. Ireland.

- Good evening, Joe.

What happened?

Oh, I don't know, sir.

It's been acting funny all day.

Well, it looks like we're stuck

for good now.

Stuck? I can't be stuck!

I've got the most important date

of the year tonight!

Wait a minute, sir.

You hear that rumbling?

That means the power is still on.

It'll start in a second.

Oh, come on, elevator, nice old elevator.

Get me upstairs and I'll put you out

to pasture in a beautiful, green meadow.

There she goes, sir. She's all right now.

- Good evening, Mr. Ireland.

- Shh!

- Where is she?

- She's in her room.

Well, well! What have we here?

Oh, that's a little surprise.

Tonight's the night!

Oh, as if I didn't know.

Mrs. Ireland's been primping

since breakfast.

- Has she? Everything all set?

- Yes, sir.

- Dinner at midnight?

- Yes.

- A happy anniversary, Mr. Ireland.

- Thanks, Martha.

That's funny.

That wasn't here when I came in.

- Maybe some man just put it there.

- Oh, I don't think so.

It would have to be a man

who knew exactly what I wanted.

Really?

Oh, darling, I've always wanted a portable.

It's the best I could rent for 35 cents a day.

It's pretty cheap

considering it has my initials on it.

Well, well, well! Look at the lovebirds!

And after four years!

Come on, let's get out

of this cross-town traffic!

Now, let's see, where was I?

Oh, yes, I know. I was right there.

Every time you mess up my lip rouge,

it takes me ten minutes longer

to get ready.

I'll take a half hour's worth of that.

Stop it! Stop it! I'm a married woman!

I'll tell my husband!

- I'll tell him when he comes in.

- That does it!

Stevie!

- Darling, I've got some great news for you.

- What?

I've decided to keep you another year.

Maybe you haven't seen the other models.

They haven't got brakes like me.

What brakes have you got?

- Will you do something constructive?

- What?

Will you ask Martha for my walking shoes?

Your walking shoes?

Yes. You don't expect me to walk

four miles in dancing shoes, do you?

And I'll need my heavy gloves for rowing.

Well, look, darling, I...

I was just wondering...

What now?

Do you think we want to go

through all that rigmarole tonight?

- Rigmarole?

- Yeah.

Oh, darling, we swore that every year

we'd do exactly what we did

when we were married.

Yes, I know.

I love that walk to the justice of the peace.

It's four miles.

But he always gives us sherry

when we get there.

One finger.

- And then I row you up the river.

- That takes an hour.

And you read our future in the stars.

That's the part I like best.

- Last year you nearly upset the boat.

- You nearly upset the boat, you beast.

And you weren't stargazing

when you did it!

Yes, but... Look, I've got an idea!

Why don't we do everything

we did last year

and the year before

and the year before that,

only in reverse.

- In reverse?

- Yeah, backwards.

Oh, but that would mean we'd have

to take our four mile walk at midnight,

and backwards at that.

- Yes.

- Oh, yes.

Well, what about the rowing?

I can't row backwards.

Of course, you can.

Backwards is exactly

the way you do row. Yeah.

Only that way, you row this way.

Why, you're perfectly right.

I never realized it.

Well, then, I don't see

why we shouldn't do just as you say.

Don't move a muscle.

Martha!

Martha!

- Oh, Martha. Martha, look.

- Yes, Mr. Ireland?

We've changed our minds

about having dinner at midnight,

and we decided to have it

at the regular time.

- Oh, Mr. Ireland, not really!

- Oh, it'll be all right.

And, Martha,

will you serve the dinner backwards?

- All right, sir... How?

- Backwards.

You know, start with dessert

and finish with soup. See?

Are you sure you want it that way?

Oh, yes, it'll be fine, it'll be fine!

All right, but you won't like it!

Well, 1:
00.

Now, let's see,

what was the first thing I did?

Oh, I turned out the lights.

Wait, you forgot to wind the clock.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to remember.

Yes, I set the alarm for 12:00.

You were going to lunch

with your mother.

The next thing you did

was to crack your ankle on that post.

Oh, yeah. Well, if you don't mind,

I'll just skip that part of the routine.

Then the next...

Oh, darling,

you know, you shouldn't be allowed

to stand in the moonlight like that.

It ought to be against the law,

like other strong drugs.

- I don't remember your saying that before.

- I should have.

Oh, darling! You must be furious!

No, dear, just terribly, terribly hurt!

Sounds like the doorbell.

- Martha will answer it.

Maybe she'll let them in.

Oh, no, I'll take care of that!

Whoever it is, they shall not pass!

Happy anniversary to you

Happy anniversary to you

Happy anniversary, Mr. And Mrs. Ireland

Happy anniversary to you

That will do, boys.

Best love from mother-in-law!

Oh, Mother! Well... Well, that was...

That was very nice.

- Four years ago today. Isn't it wonderful?

- Yes, isn't it?

Steve, you look funny. Are you all right?

Oh, yes, fine.

That is, except for my headache.

I've had a terrible headache.

I was thinking of sitting in the dark

for a while.

Oh. How's my little girl feeling?

Is she all right?

Oh, yes, she's fine, fine.

Steve, you don't seem very glad

to see me.

You haven't even asked me in.

Oh, well,

I wonder what I could mean by that?

Oh, there you are!

Happy anniversary, darling!

Oh, Mother, how are you?

Here, wait until you see this too,

too divine rug that I've brought you.

My dear, isn't it just too matchless?

Don't you wonder

how you ever managed without it?

Oh, it's lovely, Mother,

but I thought you knew

that we had to take up the rug

you gave us last year

because the floor

is just too highly polished.

Oh, I remember very well,

but the dimensions of this rug

are absolutely perfect.

Where's Martha? Martha!

Martha, would you fix me a little dinner?

Nothing heavy, just a bite.

You don't mind, do you, darling?

I know you're not dining till midnight,

so I won't be in your way.

- But, Mother, we're...

- They ain't dining at midnight, ma'am.

They're eating at the regular time.

Oh, how nice. Then we can all have

your anniversary dinner together.

Now, you two don't pay any attention

to me.

- You just go ahead as if I weren't here.

- Go ahead and what?

Oh, I must keep an eye on the time.

Your Aunt Laura is coming

in from California at 8:00.

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