Love Happy Page #4

more important than I am.

Oh, Harpo, I thought it was...

This is where you live, isn't it, Harpo?

It must be wonderful to be like you, Harpo.

You live alone.

That is... you don't need other people.

You don't depend on them.

You never get hurt.

Oh, Harpo, you're wonderful.

Harpo, I've got an idea.

I've been a fool,

letting my heart stand in my way.

But it's not too late.

He'll still give me the part,

tomorrow morning,

Mr Hammerstein.

Can you imagine me

in a Broadway production?

A star. A real star.

And I'll work.

No more nickel Romeos for me.

I'll work, and keep going, and get famous.

And we'll be rich together.

And, Harpo, you'll be with me.

Because you've always loved me.

I haven't anyone except you.

And, from now on,

you'll be my manager too.

We'll be famous together. We'll scale

the heights of Broadway together.

A star and her manager.

We'll be important people. Harpo.

You'll be the most influential manager

on the Great White Way.

You'll have a whole suite of offices

and a great, big, shiny mahogany desk.

You'll be just as famous as me, Harpo.

Everyone will come to your office

and call you on the phone,

all the great stars

and writers and producers,

to beg you to help them.

You'll audition

all the great singers and dancers.

They'll want advice about new plays,

begging to work in your productions,

our productions.

You'll be rich and important, Harpo.

You and I both.

We'll have everything we ever dreamed of.

Everything!

I'm sorry, Harpo.

I'm afraid everything isn't very much

without that rotten, horrible Mike Johnson.

And on my birthday too.

He had to do it on my birthday.

Yes, and he knew it was.

I hope I never...

never have another birthday!

Oh...

Harpo.

Oh, Harpo.

Oh, what would I do without you?

You've made this the nicest birthday

I've ever had.

At last the show was opening.

When Mackinaw reported that Madame

Egelichihad put money in the show,

I knew a crisis was at hand.

Now I was close to what I had

been traiIing all these years -

Madame Egelichi.

I, er... I mean the diamonds.

Immediately, I started for the theatre.

Incognito, of course.

Mackinaw, I have a full record of the case

and tonight at the opening,

you may have the solution.

For Madame Egelichi will be in the front box,

and next to her will be Count Bouillabaisse.

But, if you take away his silk hat,

his opera cloak and his suit,

you'll have me, shivering in my underwear.

- How jolly!

- Come along, Mackinaw.

We will be just in time

to be fashionably late.

- Good evening.

- I am Ivan.

Don't fret about it. You can always change

it to Tom, Dick or Harry. Come, Mackinaw.

Hey, that's not my suit you're pulling.

Give me the diamond necklace.

We've only just met

and already he's asking for things.

I am from the Romanovs. To recover

the diamonds, we paid you 100, OOO zlotys.

Zlotys. Did you ever try to spend a zloty

in this country?

The diamonds.

Or in one hour you die.

Mackinaw, allow me to introduce

the man who's going to kill me.

At the next musical note,

the end of my life will be brought to you

by the Bulova sand company.

Is your watch fast? I'll

drop some sand in it.

A few more grains of sand to fall

and you will die.

I think I am ready.

Come in.

Is there anything I can do for you?

What a ridiculous statement.

Mr Grunion, I want you to help me.

I have a little sand left,

what seems to be the trouble?

Some men are following me.

Really? I can't understand why.

- I advise you to leave.

- I'll take you to the bus station.

If I'm not back tonight, go ahead without me.

That's been the history of all my romances.

Curtain time five minutes.

- All right, I'm a heel.

- That's not news.

Could you love a heel that's been repaired?

I came back last night to get you,

ten minutes after you'd left.

- You did?

- Uh-huh. With a clean face.

- What's all that?

- Harpo gave them to me.

- I thought it might improve the costume.

- Uh-uh, too phoney.

Tomorrow, if we're not stoned to death

by the mob,

I'll get you a real gem

for the proper finger.

Mike...

- Faustino, get ready, you're on soon.

- I'll be ready, I'll be ready.

We want the diamonds!

Diamonds?

You had them on.

Where are they?

- I don't know.

- She's not going to talk.

- She'll talk to Madame Egelichi.

- Or there'll be murder.

Let go of me, let me go!

Here, Bill.

Where'd you hide 'em?

Maggie...

What's going on here? You let go of her!

Let's search the place

before we take her away.

You want I should read your mind?

I'm-a too busy now,

the show's going to start.

You're too excited, I can't read your mind.

All right, I read-a your mind.

What's on your mind?

Yeah, it's a dame.

All the time you got a dame on your mind.

It's-a no dame, it's a nice gal.

Yeah, what about a nice gal?

Ha-ha, that's what you call a nice gal?

You crazy - that's a dog.

A dog? What about a dog?

A big dog? A police dog?

A big, big dog?

Saint Bernardo! Even bigger?

Great Dane!

What about a Great Dane?

Great Dane got a dimple? Whiskers?

That's my jaw. Great Dane, jaw.

Great Dane, jaw. Great Dane, jaw.

Great Dane jaw, Great Dane jaw...

Great danger!

Who's the girl in great danger?

I can't read-a your hand,

I can only read-a your mind.

Ha, that's a billy goat.

That's-a Jolson. You sing-a mammy,

mammy goat. Mammy!

Mammy. Mammy.

Mammy. Ma...

Ma. Ma?

Ma? Ma? Ma what?

Ma what? Ma what?

You open the door... with a key.

Ma, key.

Ma, key. Ma, key. Ma, key. Ma, key. Ma, k...

Maggie! Maggie!

Oh, Maggie's in great danger.

Oh, smart, huh? Oh, I catch on quick.

Maggie's in-a great danger.

Who's after her?

That's a bird. A seagull?

A bigger bird? A turkey bird?

A big, big bird? A stool pigeon!

Yankee Doodle. Yankee Doodle bird!

That's the flag.

On top of the flag. It's-a eagle! Eagle!

Eagle. What about an eagle?

Eagle scratch? Eagle tickle?

Eagle got fleas? Eagle nervous?

Ah, stop, you making me itchy.

Ltchy? Eagle, itchy. Eagle, itchy.

Eagle, itchy. Eagle, itchy.

Egelichi! Egelichi!

Oh, Egelichi.

What Egelichi gonna do to Maggie?

A horse. A horse run away with Maggie?

Fall down on Maggie?

Hammer and nail.

No hammer. A nail.

A big nail. A little nail.

Little bitsy nail. Little bitsy...

Tack. A tack. Tack.

Wet tack.

Wet tack. Wet tack.

Horse, wet tack. Horse, wet tack.

Horse, wet track.

Horse, wet track. Horse, wet track.

Mudder! Mudder!

Mudder. Mudder. Mudder.

Mudder. Mudder...

A mudder? A mudder?

A mudder? A mudder?

A mudder? A mudder?

A murder? A murder? A murder?

Murder! Murder!

Egelichi's gonna murder Maggie!

Oh! Come on, let's go.

- Good luck, Bunny.

- Thanks, Jim.

Give us the diamonds

or we'll murder you!

They want-a diamonds!

Who's got-a diamonds?

- What are we gonna do?

- All right, come on, girls!

This is opening night, let's hear those

lines. And put a little heart into it!

Perfumes from Hindustan.

Oils from Arabia.

Diamonds from Africa.

- We'll take her to the hotel.

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