Love in the Afternoon Page #2

No! I mean with my wife.

A week or so.

They are having supper every night

in his suite at the Ritz.

The Ritz? Everybody knows

us at the Ritz.

I wouldn't worry.

She's very discreet.

She always uses the service elevator,

and she always wears a veil.

That's good.

She usually arrives at his suite,

No. 14, at 9:
00.

You will be relieved to know

that they are not alone.

They're not?

There is always

a four- piece gypsy orchestra.

They open the program

with something called Hot Paprika.

Then, a little Liszt,

a little Lehr, a czardas or two...

...and at five minutes before 10:00

they always play Fascination.

Fascination?

No, no. That's not the way it goes.

- Quite pretty, isn't it?

- Yes. What comes after that?

That's it. They play Fascination,

and they leave.

- And my wife?

- She stays.

We must not jump to conclusions.

Here is the window of

Suite 14 at 11:
00.

12:
00.

1:
00.

2:
00.

3:
00. 4:00...

- What are you doing?

- I'm jumping to conclusions!

Please, Monsieur. Put that away.

You must not shoot your wife.

You will only bungle the job.

Your hand will tremble, at best you

will wound her in the leg or shoulder.

You will take her to the hospital...

...she will meet a very

attractive doctor...

I will not shoot my wife.

I love my wife.

- You must not shoot yourself.

- Myself?. I haven't done anything.

Quite true.

What is the number

of the suite, 14?

- Exactly.

- And the gypsies leave at 10:00?

Exactly.

Then at 10:
00,

I shall walk into Suite 14 and shoot.

- The American?

- Exactly.

Goodbye, Monsieur Chavasse.

You do realize

that this is cold- blooded murder?

I do.

And that you may have

to spend years in jail?

I may.

Is there nothing I can say to dissuade

you from this foolhardy scheme?

Nothing whatsoever.

In that case, Monsieur,

you leave me no choice.

- I must insist on being paid

right now. - How much?

Sixty- thousand francs.

It should really be more,

because with Mr. Flannagan removed...

...there will be a sharp drop

in my business.

Thank you, Monsieur.

You may take the photographs if

you wish. There is no extra charge.

You send them to my lawyer.

And my bags,

you send them also to my lawyer.

No extra charge.

Au revoir, Monsieur. Bonne chance.

- Papa?

- Yes, Ariane?

Papa...

What is it?

- Papa, may I practice again?

- Of course, darling.

- Perhaps I'd better take the tray out

first. - Thank you. Go ahead, darling.

Your client seemed so nervous.

What was he moaning about?

It's his wife. She... Never mind.

Aren't you going

to the conservatory today?

In the afternoon, Papa.

Michel is picking me up.

He must be quite tall.

At least 6-foot-3.

Who? Michel?

No. Mr. Flannagan.

Give me that.

He's certainly the most

handsome man in your files.

He's certainly the most

utterly no good.

He's got such an American face,

like a cowboy or Abraham Lincoln.

You know what happened to Lincoln?

And right in the middle

of a performance!

What time is it now?

9:
15.

Why do you keep asking?

- Do you have a telephone coin?

- What's wrong, Ariane?

If you're in some sort of trouble,

you can tell me.

Thanks, Michel.

Operator?

I want to speak to the Hotel Ritz.

Please hurry, this is an emergency.

Hello, Ritz?

I want to speak to Mr. Flannagan.

Mr. Frank Flannagan.

Sorry, but he left express orders

not to be disturbed.

- But, l--

- Sorry, Madame, absolutely not.

Monsieur Flannagan

has retired for the night.

You'd better put this call through...

...or Mr. Flannagan will

retire permanently.

Hello? Hello!

Hello?

What time is it now?

9:
20. I must say,

you're acting very strange tonight.

How would you act

if you knew somebody was being shot?

I don't know. I would call

the police. Who is being shot?

Do you have another coin?

Ariane, I have a right to know

what's going on.

Not just because I tell you the time,

or pay for your telephone calls...

...but because you know

how I feel about you.

Police?

I want the Commissaire de Police.

Ariane, who's being shot?

Where? By whom?

What's it got to do with you?

Commissaire de Police?

I wish to report a crime.

You wish to report a crime?

Yes, Madame, what is the crime?

There's a man and a woman

in the Hotel Ritz, Suite 14.

"Man and woman, Suite 14,

Hotel Ritz." What is the crime?

You don't understand.

The woman is married.

I understand. "Hotel Ritz, Suite 14,

man and woman, woman is married."

What is the crime?

She has a husband,

and he has a gun, a great big gun!

Now we are getting somewhere.

He has no permit?

No. That's not the point!

At 10:
00 he's going to break

into the room and shoot!

Please, Madame, do not excite

yourself. It is not 10:00 yet.

Now, at 10:
00, if he does break

into the room, and he does shoot...

...and he does not miss,

then you call us again.

That'll be too late!

You've got to stop him.

You must send somebody

up there immediately.

Madame, there are 7,000 hotels

in Paris, 220,000 hotel rooms...

...and on a night like this,

I'd say in about...

...40,000 of those rooms,

a similar situation...

Now really, Madame,

if we were to assign a policeman...

...to every one of these situations...

No, Madame,

it just staggers the imagination.

It would take more

than the entire Paris police force.

It would take the fire department,

the sanitation department...

...and possibly the Boy Scouts.

Certainly, we don't want young boys

in short pants...

...involved in situations like this.

Ariane! This has gone far enough.

I'm going to drive you home.

- Michel.

- I'm sorry. I have no more coins.

- No, I want you to take me home.

- That's better.

But on the way, could

we stop at the Ritz?

The Ritz!

Come back, Loulou!

Why are you barking?

There's nobody there. Bad dog!

Fascination!

Now what's come over you tonight?

All that barking. Bad dog!

Mr. Flannagan?

Mr. Flannagan?

Pardon me for interrupting,

this is urgent...

...because you're going to be shot!

Shot?

Keep on playing!

Who are you?

How did you get in here, anyway?

- Through the balcony.

- The balcony?

I had to, because her husband

is outside the door...

...with a gun.

A great big gun.

Sorry, Mr. Flannagan,

but that will be all for tonight.

- Kindly disconnect yourself from

my wife. - I beg your pardon?

- Over there, where the light is better.

- Do we know each other?

Only by proxy.

I am the foolish husband.

- Whose foolish husband?

- Her foolish husband!

My foolish husband?

Josephine?

Well, is this lady your wife?

- Is your name Frank Flannagan?

- Yes.

- Is this Suite 14?

- Yes.

Then she must be my wife.

- Are you?

- I don't think so.

This is all very confusing.

- May I use your phone?

- Go right ahead. Help yourself.

Hello, give me the concierge.

Concierge, is there another

Frank Flannagan in this hotel?

Well, is there another Suite 14?

This is the Ritz, isn't it?

I'm terribly sorry.

But you must understand...

...I'm terribly nervous.

Here, have some of this.

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