Love in the Afternoon Page #3

It's so preposterous, apparently

I am the victim of misinformation...

- ...a case of mistaken identity.

- Cheers.

Cheers.

Perfume!

I can smell my wife's perfume!

Go right ahead, help yourself.

While you're looking, if you

happen to find my left slipper...

- Is this it?

- Thank you.

I'm terribly sorry

to cause you all this trouble.

No, I'm glad you came. I've been

trying to find this for a week.

You have no idea

what I've been through today.

I was so upset. I went to a Turkish

bath and had three massages.

- You look good.

- Thank you.

Loulou...

...first thing tomorrow morning

you're going to the analyst, bad dog!

When I saw you coming down the corridor,

I could have sworn you were my wife.

You mustn't jump to conclusions.

Actually, you don't look like her

at all. My wife is much more...

Not that she's heavy mind you,

she's very beautiful.

Matter of fact, she's one of the

most beautiful women in the world.

I'm sure she is.

- I do wish you could meet her.

- Maybe some other time.

Yes, of course, I understand.

- Good night, Madame.

- Good night.

- Good night, Monsieur.

- Good night.

Perhaps I'd better put this back on.

How about that guy?

Told his wife he was in London!

It's getting so you can't trust

a husband anymore.

If it hadn't been for you,

I'd have got...

- I was glad to do it.

- He didn't even bother to knock.

A madman running around the Ritz

with a loaded gun.

- Did you ever hear of such a thing?

- It's nothing unusual.

There are 7,000 hotels in Paris,

220,000 hotel rooms...

...and do you know that

in approximately 40,000 of them...

...especially on a night like this...

- What are you talking about?

- These are official figures.

- Good night, Mr. Flannagan.

- Good night.

It was nice meeting you.

You can't go like this.

I don't know your name. Who are you?

That's unimportant.

Well, you seem to know who I am.

You're Frank Flannagan.

American. Oil, construction business...

...turbo-jet engines,

Pepsi- Cola, and "You Hit the Spot."

How did you find out about tonight?

About the husband coming here?

You are 6- foot- 3, aren't you?

But you don't look a bit

like Abraham Lincoln.

- Who said I did?

- Goodbye.

But tell me,

how did you know about tonight?

A friend of a friend of a friend.

A friend of a friend of a friend?

Of whose?

Tell me. What made you come up

here? Why did you warn me?

Why?

It's simple really.

I'm against violence.

In my opinion, there's too much shooting

in the world and not enough love.

How's that again?

I mean, if people loved each other

more, they'd shoot each other less.

Are you a religious

fanatic or something?

Who is it?

It's me again. The husband.

Come in.

I'm sorry to make a nuisance

of myself, but I forgot something.

I bought it in London,

but I guess they'll take it back.

- I still have the sales slip.

- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

You can't go now. It wouldn't

look right. He may be watching.

- I think he's still suspicious.

- But it's getting late.

Late? This is Paris. La vie en rose.

Relax ez- vous.

Maybe I can get the gypsies back.

Oh, no. No gypsies,

and no Fascination.

I find it very helpful.

Helpful? How?

A little background music.

It's amazing what a couple

of fiddles can do for you.

Especially if you're

not much of a talker.

I'm not much of a talker.

When you're traveling around Madrid,

Rome, the Scandinavian countries...

...do you take your gypsies along?

Of course not. Except once.

I sent my plane down for them,

and had them join me in Stockholm.

- It was an emergency.

- The episode with the twin sisters?

- You know quite a bit about me,

don't you? - Quite a bit.

Aren't you a little too

young for that?

I was about to ask you

a similar question.

Aren't you a little too old for that?

That hurts. First you save a man's

life, and then you stab him.

- Is that kind? - I didn't mean

it, really. I take it back.

If you take back what you said,

that I'm too young.

I take it back.

Actually, I don't much care

for young men, never did.

I find them conceited,

and clumsy and very unimaginative.

I quite agree.

- Is this Pepsi- Cola?

- This? Champagne. It's domestic.

I know, with fish you

have white wine...

- ...with gypsies, champagne. Right?

- Right.

We'll have lots of champagne and gypsies

when you come for dinner tomorrow.

- When I come to dinner?

- Of course.

- That's out of the question.

- You're the strangest girl I ever met.

- You won't tell me your name...

- I really must go.

Wait. Can't I take you home?

- No, thank you.

- Why not?

- It's too dangerous.

- Are you married?

No.

- But you live with someone.

- Yes.

- A man?

- Yes.

Is he jealous?

Let me put it this way,

if he knew I was here tonight...

- But he doesn't.

- I hope not.

There's no reason why

he should find out about tomorrow.

You don't know him.

Look, tomorrow is my last day in Paris.

I'm leaving for the United States.

Have a nice trip.

You wouldn't want me

to spend my last night in Paris alone?

Well, the gentleman with the gun

offered to introduce you to his wife.

You're much more attractive

than she is.

Or you could fly in the twins

from Stockholm.

You're much more attractive

than both of them put together.

- Did you say you weren't

much of a talker? - 8:00?

Impossible.

- 9:
00?

- No. That's much too late.

5:
00? 4:00?

In the afternoon?

When do you work?

Whenever I'm not busy.

Will you try?

I was told you were

utterly no good.

Then we'll both try.

You try to be here at 4:00...

...and I'll try to be good.

Good night, Mr. Flannagan.

Good night...

...thin girl.

Will you please stop humming

that idiotic tune?

It lacks any musical merit

whatsoever.

You haven't said one word to me,

you haven't answered one question!

- And how did you get that

stupid hat? - What hat?

Ariane, are you all right?

It's me, Michel.

Your friend!

Good night, friend.

I can't wait to get

home and tell my wife.

We'll be laughing about

this for weeks.

I just don't understand it, Monsieur.

I've been in this business many years.

My reports have always

been 100% correct.

You came very close.

You had the right hotel...

...the right suite,

the right man, the right gypsies...

- ...but you had the wrong woman.

- Are you absolutely sure?

Different voice, different figure,

different everything.

Under the circumstances, Monsieur,

I owe you an apology and a refund.

Since I was only 80%correct...

...I feel I should return

20% of your money.

No, keep it. As far as I'm concerned,

you're the best detective in Paris.

Good night, Monsieur.

Just remember one thing:

You must not jump to conclusions.

Pardon, Mademoiselle.

Good morning, my darling.

Good morning, Papa.

Your breakfast is on the table.

Haydn's 98th?

- 88th.

- 88th?

Just don't seem

to get anything right lately.

Goodbye, Ariane.

You leaving, Papa?

Mr. Haydn seems to have run out of

ideas when he got to Symphony No. 88.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote