Love in the Buff

---

Grab a plastic bag.

Horace was Mandy's first love.

They met at her cousin's housewarming.

After going out for a month,

they moved into a flat in Wanchai.

This is so heavy.

I do this every day and you change so often.

The clothes are dirty after a soccer game.

Smell this.

Are you crazy?

Stop nagging. I used to carry both.

I promise I won't change so often.

I'll always wear the same shirt, OK?

Why not die in it, moron!

I always listen to you...

That year, Mandy was 21.

Ken was a driving instructor.

If it's not a big load,

take it to the cleaners.

I don't want to.

When can we eat? I'm starving.

Soon. Don't rush me.

You said that an hour ago.

Ken...

Let's cook at your place tomorrow.

I'd rather eat out.

Miss, if you feel pain right here,

it means your spleen is weak.

Your boyfriend is healthier.

There's not a beep from him.

Hey...

Jimmy...

Wake up!

According to the coroner's autopsy,

Jimmy's death was undetermined.

That means "cause of death unknown."

F***! If she's not a Black Widow,

I don't know who else qualifies.

It was an accident.

Eunuch and I get massages too,

but I'm not dead.

With or without happy ending?

Without!

His official cause of death was undetermined.

But the thing is...

your friend was with 3 different guys.

All 3 ended up dead!

You know what that proves?

The mortality for her boyfriends

is 100%.

His new boyfriend will die for sure.

If you still won't tell him, I rest my case.

Of course I won't.

He will leave her for sure.

You stay out of this.

He has the right to choose.

If he still wants her after knowing

and loves her just the same, so be it.

Why be so honest?

He will leave her for sure.

Show me the picture.

This one.

How do you know?

Is that her?

Yes.

What's wrong?

Your friend Mandy is a real jinx.

I feel dizzy just looking at her picture.

Are you all right?

You feel sick?

Can I be excused from doing the dishes?

You do that all the time.

- A**hole!

- I'm not finished.

I want ice cream.

Please fetch me some ice cream.

Go eat sh*t!

I want you to listen to this.

What?

You know what that means?

What?

It means you need to trade in your iPhone 3.

I meant the sound.

It's the crackle of firewood in my fireplace.

I recorded it to remind me

life is all about the fireplace.

I was in Beijing for 4 years.

I own a house of

Times 10, that's 4,000 square feet.

There's a huge fireplace inside.

Every night, I sit in front of it with family

and listen to the crackle of firewood.

You know what that is?

La dolce vita!

I prefer a massage.

I recorded this to remind me

why I went to Beijing despite the hard work.

It's for...

this crackle.

I can use...

some of that crackle.

That's all you've got.

A life like that in advertising? No way!

But it's possible in Beijing.

We had our differences at O&M,

but that's water under the bridge.

You can't be holding a grudge!

Unless I shagged your chick.

Think about it.

Way better than working for a gweilo.

Think about it.

Do we order another drink?

Did he go to school in Europe, Sis?

No, why?

No?

He's obviously in a different time zone.

Let's order.

- Don't wait.

- Great!

No, let's wait.

But their soup will be sold out soon.

Excuse me...

Captain.

I'm home, Baby.

Sh*t!

I'm sorry, I was so busy I forgot.

I'll make it up to your Mom some day.

Who did Chelsea play tonight?

What?

Who played Chelsea tonight?

Burnley.

What was the score?

Are you deaf or you have amnesia?

What's the score?

See?

You'll remember what you want to remember

and forget what you don't.

No,

I really had a meeting.

My ex-boss called me suddenly.

Mom decided today is her birthday over 50 years ago.

It's OK if you had to work.

At least send me an SMS.

I could tell her you're sick.

Just don't pull a no-show.

Mom kept asking

if it's because you're too young.

I had to lie and tell her

you're very mature for your age.

I had to lie for you!

I'm sorry!

Don't say it unless you mean it.

I am, absolutely, positively...

My ex-boss called.

He wanted me to work for him in Beijing.

Oh!

"Oh"? What does that mean?

"Oh" is "oh." What else?

He's asking you to go to Beijing.

All you could say was "oh"?

He didn't ask me.

Someone asked him.

You're living together.

If he takes off, what does that mean?

I'm not his wife. I can't tag along.

Keep following him and you will be.

You didn't know him in the alley either,

but you shagged him after a few smokes.

Exactly! Just follow him.

Quit your job and follow him to Beijing!

He didn't ask me.

Then make him marry you.

Men tend to

drag their feet but not their penis.

That's sick!

Where are you?

On a bus? I said take a mini-bus.

Get a taxi! Call me when you get here.

Brenda does that every time.

She's hopeless.

- Hey... yours?

- Yes.

Are the chicken wings done?

Yeah, take this.

It's hot!

What are you doing?

I'm taking that to the client.

Be right back.

I thought he's spending time with you.

What's with you and Patty?

I see trouble coming. I better go.

What now?

What is it?

It's OK if you had to work,

just tell me.

I wouldn't have made them switch venues.

Shek O is no different from Big Wave Bay.

They both have a beach and food.

But we wanted to go there.

We agreed... don't you get it?

I can't help it if the client had to re-schedule.

I know work is important,

but this is our quality time together.

I'm not here to serve your client.

I made those chicken wings for you,

not your client. Don't you get it?

I do...

I'll serve you after I serve the client,

OK?

No, that's not what I mean.

Then what do you mean?

What's with you?

Who's paying our rent?

Who's putting gas in the car?

C'est la vie. What can I do?

I don't want to fight, OK?

"I've gone back to Mom's"

"Eight new messages."

Auntie!

Happy birthday! Sorry about last time.

You're so late.

For this year or next?

Did you walk Afterwards?

Roger! Afterwards, let's go poo-poo.

Come on...

Afterwards has been with Cherie for years.

She brought nothing

when she lived with the other guy.

And you? She knows you don't like dogs.

So she dared not take him with her.

Maybe you should come back some other time.

Come back later.

I should go, goodnight.

Goodbye.

Next stop, airport.

Passengers for Terminals 1 and 2,

please exit on the right.

Wait.

Hello?

It's me.

What?

I'm leaving.

Oh.

Beijing is very dry. Eat pears

and drink water with honey.

Before you go to bed, put a wet towel on the chair

to keep the humidity.

C)k-

Your things are packed.

Pick them up when you have time.

I'm still paying the rent.

If you want to live there...

feel free to do so.

No thanks, I'll stay with Mom.

It's almost time.

You're at the airport?

I can't talk. The dog needs to poo-poo.

Right, bye!

Bye!

Have you heard of the saying?

When someone is 32 years old

and still flies coach on a business trip,

he's a loser.

You know that too?

We were booked for business,

why did you ask for coach?

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