Love in the Buff Page #2

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Some dude who works for an airline

posted some tips on the web.

If a stewardess is molested in the cabin,

there are procedures to follow.

The first of fence only gets a warning...

For the second of fence,

she needs another passenger's testimony

before she can report to her supervisor.

As for the third of fence,

she must tell the captain first

before she can press charges.

I was so pissed when I saw that!

Pissed? Why?

That means each time we were on a plane

we wasted 2 chances to touch the stewardess.

What's wrong with you?

Your're safe for the first 2 of fences.

Be my guest!

After you, pal!

Don't be stupid!

What do you want, sir?

What?

Hey!

What?

You pinched her behind!

I did not!

No? I saw you.

Tell the captain a crew member was molested.

What? You're reporting me?

You can speak Cantonese.

Sh*t! He's from Hong Kong, what a disgrace!

It's him.

Please come with us, sir.

You said the first 2 times were safe.

Serve you right for eavesdropping!

What?

Nothing! He said he deserved it.

- Did you call the driver?

- Call him now...

I forgot to ask your name.

Jimmy.

Jamie?

Jimmy. Jimmy as in Jimmy Stewart.

I see. The company may need your testimony.

Can I have your phone number?

Sure!

I'll give you my cell number.

You took the bait voluntarily!

- Call me if you need anything.

- Sure.

You are...

You-you.

Then.

I'll call you.

Yoyo?

No, You-you.

Take a closer look!

Bye!

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I have a feeling you've hit it off.

I have a feeling it's none of your business.

Let's quit after this one.

What happens in the house?

They're outside.

What happens outside?

They're all dead.

What about the father?

Dead.

What? And the dog?

Dead, all f***ing dead.

No way! What about the girl?

She's outside.

Then what happens?

Outside...

there are dead bodies everywhere...

Then what?

Then the sickening stench of the dead...

It stinks. Are you crazy?

Don't you know...

Did you eat sh*t?

It's the latest 4D movie with smell.

You're sick.

Why are you so scared?

I'm not watching this. Turn it off.

Eat more greens

- for your system.

- What?

I don't get it! What's so great about

this junk food?

Childhood memories.

You ate garbage as a kid?

Me?

I was the "Braemar Hill Gourmet."

I got to choose any chick from any school.

Give me a break!

It's true. I'll show you the pictures.

Don't you keep pictures?

I promised my first boyfriend I wouldn't.

Didn't want to affect his career.

What's the big deal?

I promised Ekin I wouldn't tell anyone.

Ekin Cheng?

You didn't hear it from me.

You're so full of it.

Why not Brad Pitt?

When I was in high school,

I went to a TV commercial audition with a friend.

As I walked down a very long corridor,

Ekin saw me.

He rushed over and gave me his pager number.

I was still very young then. I was stunned,

didn't know how to react.

From then on, every day after school

I'd meet him in Kowloon Tong...

Oh...

What?

Last time, you said you never went to a love motel.

You can be so cheap.

What?

There's more to do there than a roll in a sack.

What else is there?

The canteen of a TV studio.

He was shooting a period drama.

It was so tough...

He had to wear a wig.

His hair was long. He had no time for a haircut.

He vowed to shave his head after filming.

Of course I stopped him.

I told him...

he's the most handsome and

the sexiest long-hair man in the world.

Then he got the lead in Young and Dangerous.

I should get some credit for that.

You're so full of it!

Ekin was really sweet.

He used to write me love letters.

I remember this one...

When we fell in love,

we didn't know it would be a disaster.

Only now do I know it was wrong.

We were so crazy. We were so enthralled...

Our love was so earth-f***ing...

- You must be out of your mind!

- What?

That song was written much later.

- No, that's what he wrote me.

- Chan Kwong-wing wrote it.

That's what he wrote.

Not when you were still at school.

That's really what he wrote.

Did he call?

I'm sure he's found another girl.

Men get horny once they cross the border.

Not all of them are like that.

Well, but he's one of Eunuch's friends.

That's all I have to say.

(in Korean) Hello, I love you.

I'm Korean, but I speak some Chinese.

Not very fluent.

Really?

Your Chinese is good for a Korean.

You know what I'm saying?

Good! You all picked a dish. Let's go.

Let's grab a bite.

Again? We just finished eating.

Let's go.

Now you know why we must come here.

I honestly don't know.

Just like going to Tsui Wah...

after Ian Kwai Fong.

After a few drinks in the dark, things can be risky.

We come in here for a better look.

Thanks to the light,

we know her face is so busy.

Like the Sichuan dish, "ants on a tree."

What are you saying? Speak Mandarin!

Nothing. He said you're pretty.

- Really?

- The best.

What would you like?

Order something.

Waiter!

What would you like?

You have "ants on a tree"?

Yes.

What is it?

It's so damn dry...

in Beijing...

- Eat some pears.

- Does it help?

I eat one every day.

"You-you:
I wish to repay you"

"Jimmy:
Any man..."

"would have done that"

Ask Peter to go to the club tonight.

Nice to work up a sweat.

You bet.

I'll count you in.

Are you coming?

You-you

"I'll repay you in Bed. Game?"

Over here.

Hi.

What do you think? Isn't it cool?

Not bad!

Not bad? It's cool.

Want something to drink?

Whatever... a beer.

Get him a beer.

Right away.

Few people are into that these days.

But I like it.

It's not as phooey as digital.

Each picture is different.

The defects make them real.

Then you're not too real.

My mom says sweet talkers can't be trusted.

Except me.

What are you doing in Beijing?

For work.

I know, but why Beijing?

I'm in advertising.

People in this business look ahead

and know about things about to happen.

When others are here, we're already there.

We operate faster.

Your beer, sir.

Thanks. How much?

' $50.

' $50?

- Thanks.

- Please enjoy.

You're certainly looking ahead.

I'm hungry, want something to eat?

You're late!

What's going on?

Did you get my SMS?

What SMS?

Olivia asked everyone...

about her contribution

and started to lay people off.

Dora has till the end of the month.

My SMS told you to start thinking.

- Olivia!

- Sit down!

Hong long have you been with us?

What's your contribution to the company?

It's hard to say.

Give it a try.

I've worked for many companies.

The bosses always told us to work on our looks

but never our eating habits.

The junk we eat at lunch and tea time

are always the greasiest stuff.

They give us cold sores too huge

for powder to hide.

How can we sell to the customers, right?

For me, the crucial thing for a cosmetics company

is the take-out manual.

I categorized everything...

The first pages are low fat...

What's "Olivia's Choice"?

Restaurants to call when you're buying.

How is that different from "Cherie's Choice"?

"Olivia's Choice" is expensive but delicious,

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